Impossible Magic You Can Do When Single In Your Thirties

There have been many times when I’ve heard a thirty-something friend of mine say “I’m getting old for that” or “I used to be able to ______, but now I can’t because my body doesn’t work the same way as it used to when I was younger.”

I’ve been guilty of saying both of those lines myself.

However, a lot of the time I realize that the things that I used to do when I was younger but now feel like are harder to do in my thirties are things that I never really liked to do in the first place.

Here are three examples:

-Going clubbing (I always disliked it, but now happily have the ‘I’m too old for this’ excuse)

-Starving myself thin (This sucked! It just felt like a necessity in my teens and twenties. Now I’m just like ‘I’m beyond this bullshit. I eat for strength, health and enjoyment.’)

-Drinking until I was sick (Umm, who wants to be sick? The proper phrasing for avoiding this now is: “I know my limits, thank you.”)

However, something I used to do when I was younger that I’d stopped doing for awhile but always liked was staying up late and getting a crazy amount done at once. You see, I’m a night owl by nature, hence I work best at night. Since the world isn’t built for night owls, I feel like what I’m supposed to do is get up at 5:30am (crack of dawn) and hammer out work. Start with the gym, maybe marathon training, and then work steadily until evening, when I should settle down with some TV and food and a reasonable 10:30 bedtime. But this is exhausting to me. What I like better is staying up late, sleeping in, dawdling for quite awhile, then getting into a routine of an afternoon gym session and working hardcore into the night.

And I recently realized that the reason I haven’t done this in awhile wasn’t because I was getting older but because I wasn’t single.

I matched my schedule to the person I was dating. I felt guilty and weird working into the night. I’d get up early and would never get as much done because I never really got into my peak work stride.

And now that I’ve been single for a little while, I’m starting to get back into the habit of making my own schedule and getting crazy amounts done at night, on my own.

So let’s add another awesome perk to being single in your thirties, or any older years: go back to doing the things you liked to do when you were younger but may have put aside for someone else. Now’s your time! You are still very young! Enjoy it!

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Tonight I went to the 24 hour Duane Reade at 1am because I needed something. And you know what? I’d rather go at 1am then at 7am because that’s the way I like to live life!

How Good Are You At Cooking By Your Thirties?

I recently read an article on Thrillist called 11 Dishes You Should Be Able to Make by the Time You’re 30. I could make 3 of them.

Now, this seems unfair. I consider myself to be a good cook, and I cook all the time. My Seamless and Grubhub accounts have been collecting dust (tech dust) for years, and I’m fantastic at saving money by not only cooking at home, and in hotel rooms, but cooking at home and in hotel rooms with whatever is lying around.

So let’s go over the list that Thrillist made, cause it seems kinda random:

1. Scrambled Eggs. Okay, this one I understand. Cooking eggs by 30 is important. Eggs are easy and full of protein. And check, I got scrambled eggs down. It’s not the best dish ever, but I can do this just fine.

2. Mac and Cheese. Half check. This is ironic because mac and cheese is actually my favorite food. Don’t get me wrong, I can easily make a mac and cheese, but I’d have to follow a recipe. I try not to keep cheese in the house because I’m addicted to it and am also slightly allergic. So I really only have mac and cheese occasionally when I’m out. Actually, I can make a mean vegan mac and cheese..if that counts. I kinda like that mac and cheese is on this 30’s list, cause I find it important…

3. Tomato Sauce. Belongs on the 30’s list…it’s an important basic. But I cannot make this. It’s been on my list of ‘recipes to perfect’ forever. Buying a jar is just so easy though… But I plan to get good at making it. One day.

4.  Pizza. Do english muffin pizzas count? I’ve never tried to make pizza, but I really want to. It’s also on my list of ‘recipes to perfect.’ But I don’t think it needs to be on the 30’s list. Pizza is so easy to just order in.

5. Grilled Steak. I’m a vegetarian. I have an excuse. And I don’t think it needs to be on the thirties list…but that’s me.

6. Roasted Chicken. Vegetarian. Off my thirties list…but this might be a good one for others.

7. Salmon. I hate seafood. Plus, vegetarian, remember? And no for the list… I’m grossed out and don’t think salmon is important.

8. Guacamole. Yes! I make a great guacamole! Guacamole is its own food group to me! Yes for the thirties list!

9. Meatballs. You know why I don’t make these. Totally not on the thirties list.

10. Skillet Burger. See above for why I don’t make them. But I really want to start making veggie burgers. However, like pizza, I think burgers are easier and better to order in or grab while out and don’t belong on the thirties list.

11. Cookies. Yes! I’m a fantastic baker. I think being able to bake at least SOMETHING well totally belongs on the thirties list.

Okay, so my reasons for wanting many things on or off the thirties list are arbitrary.

What do you think? Did Thrillist do a good job? Can you make these? What’s on your ‘must be able to cook by thirty’ list? I’d love to read your comments below! 🙂

I recently baked some bread, and was quite proud of myself! But bread should definitely not be on the thirties list...too hard.

I recently baked some bread, and was quite proud of myself! But bread should definitely not be on the thirties list…too hard.

Being able to make a soup is a good one for the list though..here I've made some split pea soup to go with the bread.

Being able to make a soup is a good one for the list though..here I’ve made some split pea soup to go with the bread.

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Mmmm…fresh baked bread…

Have You Gotten More Responsible From Age Twenty to Age Thirty?

Governor’s Ball was this past weekend in NYC. It’s a 3 day music festival held on Randall’s Island with lots of amazing and very famous musicians. I was away and didn’t get to go to the concert, but I read the funniest article in The New Yorker about it. A reporter compared his responses to the festival as a twenty year old with responses to the festival as a thirty year old.

Here are a few of my favorite comparisons he mentioned:

“As I’m walking through the festival entrance, a man casually vomits before continuing on, unfazed.

Twenty-year-old me thinks, “Dope. That guy knows how to get faded like a champ!”

Thirty-year-old me thinks, “I’m concerned for the boy’s health and the general sanitation of this festival. Where are the comment cards located?!”

For the second time in Gov Ball history, rain converts the fields to swampy mud pits.

Twenty-year-old me thinks, “Whoa—even the dirt here likes to party!”

Thirty-year-old me thinks, “I want to go home.”

Perhaps in a nod to “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” a teen in front of me takes shots of vodka out of an emptied out S.P.F. 50 sunblock container that she used to sneak in booze.

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Twenty-year-old me thinks, “Hello, future wife!”

Thirty-year-old me thinks, “I should inform the evening news about this disturbing trend.””

In my twenties, I think I might’ve been just as upset as I would be now about someone casually vomiting in front of me. I mean, eww! It would always be ewwww!

If it rained and got muddy and disgusting outside, I wouldn’t have ever been into it at any age, twenty or otherwise. I mean, I’m not into muddy rain. Ever. Ew.

If someone took shots out of an empty spf bottle, I would’ve thought it was brilliant then, and I would actually still think it’s brilliant now. Though now I’d probably worry that if I drank some I’d be drinking leftover SPF chemicals. Ok, umm, ewwww. I mean, I’d still drink it…

Maybe I was a boring, responsible twenty year old, or maybe I haven’t changed much, but the way I would’ve felt about the above circumstances in my twenties are basically the same way I’d feel now. Maybe I just need to loosen up, drink some alcoholic SPF, and play around in some mud. Maybe, in my thirties, I need to play catch up on the enjoyable irresponsible behavior I missed out on in my twenties.  Or maybe not.

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Do You Think Someone Younger Than 35 Should Be Allowed to Run For President?

Currently, the minimum age requirement to be president of the United States is 35 years old.

In Ireland, there was a referendum recently to reduce the minimum age of presidency from 35 to 21.

Wow! Can you imagine a 21 year old president? Can you imagine a 21 year old president of the United States? I mean, to be fair, I’ve met some brilliant 21 year olds- and even heard about some brilliant 13 year olds, like this 13 year old tech company founder– but in the case of a nation’s president, I think bit more life experience can be really helpful.

Ireland voted no on the referendum by a majority of 891,704 votes.

520,898 votes were for pro age change and 1,412,602 were against it.

But it’s interesting who voted yes. Here’s a quote from the Irish Times:

“Dublin South Central TD (TD is the equivalent of a congress member in Ireland), Eric Byrne revealed he had changed his mind at last minute and voted Yes. “It just dawned on me, I don’t have to vote for a 21-year-old but why deprive them of the right to run?”

Fine Gael Minister of State Simon Harris, who is advocated a Yes vote, said the Constitution is ageist and needs to be changed.

“Ageism has no place in our Constitution,” he added. “It was written at a time when there was a different view of our younger citizens.” “

21 is pretty young, but I wonder if the referendum results would be different if the age difference was changed from 35 to 30 instead of from 35 to 21.

A 30, 32, or 34 year old president seems doable to me. What do you guys think?

Do you think there’s a major difference between the ages of 30 and 35? What would it be like if the presidential minimum age in the US was lowered from 35 to 30?

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Our youngest president ever was Theodore Roosevelt, who was sworn into office at 42 years of age

Barack Obama was our 5th youngest president, sworn in at 47 years of age

Barack Obama is our 5th youngest president, sworn in at 47 years of age

How to Talk to A Grieving Friend in Your Thirties

Sheryl Sandberg wrote a beautiful statement today on Facebook about mourning the death of her husband. He died very suddenly in a tragic accident on a treadmill while they were on vacation in Mexico.

The statement was made after she came out of 30 days of intense mourning for him- a tradition in Judaism known as shiva. Even though it’s been 30 days, I can’t imagine her pain is anything less than fresh and intense, so I’m amazed she put out an incredible brief on Facebook so early on in her grieving process.

Sandberg’s statement is incredibly sad, but it’s also helpful as well as brave. I remember trying to talk to a friend last month whose grandmother had recently died. I didn’t want to upset her and I didn’t know what to say, so I ended up shamefully trying to avoid her until I gathered up my nerve to speak.

Even now, in my thirties, I feel like I never really know the right thing to say to a grieving friend, or relative. But there are definitely better things to say than others.

Sheryl has some great ways to approach (or not approach) this difficult subject. Here are a few:

1. Don’t tell your friend that it’s going to be okay

“A friend of mine with late-stage cancer told me that the worst thing people could say to him was “It is going to be okay.” That voice in his head would scream, How do you know it is going to be okay? Do you not understand that I might die? I learned this past month what he was trying to teach me. Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not.”

2. Ask your friend how he or she is doing today instead of a simple “how are you doing?”

“When I am asked “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am? When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.”

3. You don’t have to reassure the other person in order to empathize

“When people say to me, “You and your children will find happiness again,” my heart tells me, Yes, I believe that, but I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the truth.”

Other things to say to someone who has lost a loved one include:

– Simply addressing the situation: “I heard your _______ died. I’m so sorry”

– Be genuine: “I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care”

– Offer support: “Is there anything I can do for you?”

– Be willing to just sit and listen with compassion.

Things NOT to say include:

-“I know how you feel” – You can never really know how the person feels.

-“They’re in a better place now.” -You never know if the person you’re talking to believes this.

– “It’s part of God’s plan” – This can cause the person to get angry and actually say something like “What plan? I wasn’t aware of any plan.”

– “You need to get on with your life.” Grief moves at its own pace. This statement is unlikely to help anyone to actually get on with their life.

Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and devastatingly sad yet extremely positive statement, Sheryl. I’m sorry for your loss and am extremely sad for you and your family.

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Throwing It All Away In Your Thirties

I’m currently on a minimalism kick.

I’m throwing away as much as possible. It’s been hard.

The easy part is getting rid of items I’m relieved to toss- the stuff I never really wanted in the first place. The hard part is getting rid of the “sometimes” items: the ones I occasionally use, find somewhat useful and sort of like.

And then I heard the wise words: “Get rid of anything that does not spark joy,”

The quote is from the number one Amazon bestselling book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo. Jane read the quote to me, and now I have to read the book. I’ve seen multiple articles about it including this one about having an entire Marie Kondo decluttering party.

But even without reading Kondo’s book, her quote is enough to change the way I look at items in my home. I’ve collected so much in my 30 years, but how much of it sparks joy?

The answer is almost none at all. Surprisingly, minimalism has begun to spark more joy in me than most of those items ever could.

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The Childhood Calorie Dilemma Still Around In My Thirties

As a woman, I’ve grown up reading my fair share of women’s magazines. It started with Seventeen Magazine (which I began reading at age 12.)

But I was always a voracious reader even back then, so it didn’t stop there.  I began to devour Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Marie Claire, Elle, Vogue, Allure, and occasionally even Redbook. I couldn’t stop. When I got to college and discovered that the gym existed and was something I could do, I added Shape, Women’s Health, and Self Magazine to my repertoire.

The magazines were “fun” and “silly” but they were also addictive and confusing. I took their advice very seriously because I didn’t have any other information about diet and exercise. I’d never really thought much about working out and being thin before. I grew up in a household that ate dessert and drank soda with every meal, and my mother always cooked wonderful indulgent dinners for us every night.

It took until college for the magazine brainwashing to really kick in, but once I was living on my own, I began to really experiment with diets in order to be the ultimate in skinny. I went through all kinds of weird food phases.

  • I tried the Atkins diet where I only ate meat and cheese, and just butter alone…with no bread.
  • Then I tried the South Beach diet, which was a modified version of Atkins- so I could add some nuts to my meat.
  • I tried skipping dinner every single day until I couldn’t do it anymore.
  • I tried skipping lunch every single day until I couldn’t do it anymore
  • I replaced dinner with milk shakes
  • I went days without eating solid food and tried to live on liquids alone.
  • I tried eating soy sauce packets instead of food when I got hungry.
  • I tried to eat only fruit and vegetables and absolutely nothing else…except occasionally soy chips.

And there were probably many other stupid phases I don’t really remember. And during most of them, I made sure to go to the gym 5-7 days a week as well, because I figured that would help. And I never thought of myself as having any sort of disorder, because it was all “normal”…every woman was obsessed with being thin. Obviously, thin was the best thing to be. And I didn’t have an “eating disorder” because I was neither anorexic nor bulimic. But I was obsessed. I couldn’t think of much else besides what I did or didn’t eat. But of course, I knew I could stop at any time…

Throughout all of this, and beyond, my focus was never on being the strongest I could be. I never thought about food as making me strong and actually physically powerful. I thought about LACK of food as making me powerful…psychologically powerful that is…because being thin equals ultimate power, right?

So when I read the article 1200 Calories the other day, it almost made me cry, because the comments it makes about problematic marketing to women are so true. Even now. The marketing is just as bad now.

I hope that one day women’s magazines will all stress eating whole foods, building muscle, and getting strong, as opposed to just cutting calories and getting as thin as possible, but I don’t know if this will ever truly happen.

The author of ‘1200 Calories’ talks about how women have been taught from a very young age, through all sorts of media sources, that what we need to do is cut calories and starve ourselves. We’re taught that being as thin as possible is the ultimate perfection. We’re taught that eating low calorie food with no real nutrients and doing as much cardio as possible is the way for us to be sexy.

“Women’s magazine covers frequently use terms like “drop X pounds fast!” and “calorie-torching workout!” and “low-calorie foods.” Men’s magazines use keywords like “build,” “power,” and “strength. Think of all the potential that is thrown out the window when women deprive themselves of food on their quest to be thin. What great things could women accomplish if we weren’t fucking dieting all the time?! It’s saddening.” 

How sad is it that the message of going for actual health, building muscle, and being strong wasn’t a message I started thinking about until recently? How much sadder is it that I still barely believe that message to be true?

What can we do about this? How can we combat the harmful marketing to women that’s still going on strong right at this very moment?

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Really Awesome Credit Bureau Changes You Should Know About

I just wrote an article about credit card myths, and right afterwards, big news broke about some credit bureau changes happening in 31 states in the near future. A lot of the changes will be very helpful to consumers 🙂

Now that you’re in your thirties, make sure you’re keeping your credit report in extra good shape by checking it at least once a year. You can easily check it on a site like http://www.annualcreditreport.com  Errors pop up in credit reports all the time and you want to catch them early before they damage your score. The new rules getting put in place among the credit bureaus should help stop these accidents from happening. Here they are:

  • If there’s an error on your file with one of the three agencies, that agency must notify the others
  • It will now take 180 days for medical debt to appear on your credit report. So if you have medical debt because your insurance is supposed to take care of a bill and things are still processing, the issue will get squared away before doing any credit damage.
  • The bureaus will closely track data furnishers who most often supply disputed info- so if an organization or debt collection agency is being disputed all the time by everyone, credit bureaus will get way more suspicious.
  • The bureaus have to educate consumers on getting access to free credit reports as opposed to paying for promoted credit reports.
  • You’ll get an additional free credit report provided to you if you’ve recently disputed a claim.

Thanks so much! Hope this all gets put into place! 🙂

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Knowing the Difference Between Memorial Day, Veterans Day and Labor Day by Your Thirties

Today I overheard someone asking the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. This was not a child asking- it was someone in their fifties

Last year on Labor Day, a friend of mine was wondering whether or not to thank the military. (Short answer- sure, thank the military- but not because of Labor Day. Labor day has nothing to do with the military- it’s about American workers.)

So in case you’re not sure of the differences between the holidays, but are too embarrassed to ask, lets clear up the confusion right now, anonymously 😉

Memorial Day: Memorial Day is for honoring and remembering military personnel who died serving their country, particularly those who died in battle or as a result of battle wounds. The holiday originated right after the Civil War and is always celebrated the last Monday in May because that’s when flowers are blooming to decorate the graves of the dead. Read more about Memorial Day here.

Veterans Day: Veterans Day is a day to thank EVERYONE who’s served in the military, whether in wartime or peacetime. The day is especially to thank living veterans for their service, and to really show that all those who served, and not just those who died, have done their duty. Veterans Day was created after World War I and is always celebrated on November 11. Read more about Veterans Day here

Labor Day: Labor Day is dedicated to the contributions and achievements of American workers. It was created in 1887 by the Central Labor Union and the Knights of Labor. It’s always celebrated the first Monday in September. Read more about Labor Day here.

Hope you had a beautiful Memorial Day weekend.

American flag flying in the wind

Credit Card Myths You May Still Believe In Your Thirties

I feel like getting and keeping good credit is something that should be taught in schools. Otherwise you really have to dig to learn the ins and outs of the mysterious FICO score.

Then again, there are many financial topics that should be taught in schools but aren’t.

Sadness.

Just because I’m in my thirties doesn’t mean I was necessarily taught anything about the ins and outs of FICO. Most of my answers have been self taught.

So I’m here with some common credit card myths that I used to believe in the past. The only way to counter the misinformation that abounds about FICO scores is to provide some solid facts. Hope they’re helpful!

1. Applying for Credit Cards majorly damages your credit score

FALSE – Actually, applying for new Credit Cards will likely help your score in the long run because it will lower your debt-to-credit (or credit utilization) ratio and will increase your credit history. Applying for new cards temporarily lowers your credit score- but way less than you may think. The dip will usually be around 5 points. The long term gains you see will likely be much more than that.

2. You must carry a balance on your credit cards to build credit history and increase your score

FALSE- I really used to believe this one and used to wonder what the magic number was- should you carry a 5% balance? 1%? The answer is that you can pay off your cards in full every month and your score will only increase because of your better debt-to credit ratio.

3. Canceling your credit cards is good for your credit score

FALSE – If you’re an out of control spender, financial gurus such as Suze Orman recommend that you cut up your credit cards- but don’t cancel them. Canceling them will lower your all important debt-to-credit ratio, and will likely end up lowering your score. The only time you should cancel a card is when it has an annual fee that you don’t feel is worth paying anymore. It’ll still lower your score a bit, but it may be worth it.

4. Once you have a bad credit score, you can never fix it

FALSE- This is very untrue. Credit scores don’t really reflect how things are today- they’re a collection of happenings over the years. Missed and late payments and other score damagers will actually fall off your report in 7 years! So there’s likely very good FICO news in your future if you got off-track but now are back on.

5. Checking your credit report hurts your score

FALSE- I believed this one forever. But it’s just not true. If you check your own credit, it’s known as a soft inquiry, and doesn’t have ANY effect on your credit score. If someone else (a credit card issuer, lender, etc) checks your credit score, it’s called a hard inquiry, and that affects your credit score. But not by as much as you think (see Myth #1 above).

Hope this was helpful! These are the simplest myths, but I’ll be back with a part 2 very soon 🙂

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It hurts. So what?

A couple of weeks ago, I was extremely afraid. I wanted to speak up, but it felt much easier to stay silent. Or rather, I needed to speak up but was afraid of the response. There was an 95 percent chance that things wouldn’t end well.

Okay, I exaggerate. I’m not saying that I would die or get physically injured or even be screamed at, but I likely wouldn’t get the response I desired. I’m talking about the likelihood of a very high rejection rate.

I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say what I wanted to say. I knew I’d feel even worse if I stayed silent. But I was scared. The pain I’d feel if rejected felt very real.

So I vented to Jane about how I felt safer staying quiet because I didn’t want to bring almost certain pain into my life. Even though I knew what I needed to do, it sucked that I could predict the future pain from doing it. And it was then that she said to me one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard in my adult life.

She said “yeah, it’s going to probably  hurt. It’ll probably hurt very bad. But okay. So what?”

So what??

The revelation feels groundbreaking. Things may hurt, very badly even, but so what? So what?

Can you live with the pain of things hurting? Yes. And when you can live with that pain and be brave in the face of it, the world opens up.

Suddenly, suddenly everything is doable. Even the most immense impending hurt can’t stop you. It can bring you to your knees and it can make you cry. For awhile even.

But so what?

I ended up saying what I needed to say, and I was extremely relieved I did. And the hurt still came on strong. The rejection felt intense and stung with pain.

But so what? So what??

I’m still here. And I’m okay.

Help! I’m 30 and Never Followed My Childhood Dream! – Part 2

Jane just wrote How Did You Find Your Career Path? and, in the article, she mentioned a lot of people that didn’t find their career, but instead had their career “find them.” There was the writing major friend of hers who ended up working in perfume, and the film school friend who went into advertising… And then she mentioned how people’s careers usually switch approximately 7 times in their life!

I have a friend who was a drama major who got a major role in a film that turned him off from acting. He went into teaching, loves it, and never looked back. My brother, another actor, was always big into video games and tech. He got a job during college in a video game store. He’s now a brilliant manager at that store and loves his job.

I’m finding lately that sometimes what you think you want to do isn’t actually what you want to do at all. It’s almost hard to admit here because it feels like giving up something…a part of who you are. In a post I wrote awhile ago, Help! I’m 30 and Never Followed My Childhood Dream, I remembered an episode of How I Met Your Mother. In that episode, the gang all realized that there were dream career paths from their childhood that they never followed but always held secret hopes that they one day would. Lily wanted to be a painter and someone wanted to be a rockstar…I can’t remember who. At the end of the episode they realize that they want to let those dreams go because they enjoy the paths they’re currently on even more.

It’s a hard lesson, and not always the case. Childhood career dreams sometimes become reality. Or they sometimes influence what you end up doing (all that drama school helps me see tradeshows as a kind of theater that I need to organize, occasionally direct, and always play my part in, haha). Also, childhood career dreams come in and out, sometimes reemerging as a fresh passion (Janna talks about going after her dancing and acting dreams again after stopping for awhile in Portrait of a Thirtysometing- Janna Davis.)

More than ever, I think that nowadays your career is something to create and evolve with…it isn’t a straight line but- to be corny- kind of a large garden, with seasons and fresh starts and different climates. Sometimes there’s sun and sometimes there’s snow. The soil remains the same (you), but can feel dried up or moistened (those times you realized your career path wasn’t working for you vs those moments of inspiration).

I’ve even heard before from friends that the best moments of their lives were after they got fired from their jobs. They were absolutely forced to start fresh in new jobs and situations they never would have turned to before.

That’s a scary situation and I would never wish for it. I love my job and my unforeseen career path, even though it was never my childhood dream. But I feel more and more that career paths can widen and change and twist into something far different, and maybe a lot better, than your childhood self ever could have dreamed up.

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Why You Should Get Global Entry In Your Thirties

I was always that weirdo who opted out of the airport scanner machines. I never liked them, and I knew that the jury was out on their safety and health risks (even though TSA always claimed they were safe).

If you opt out of the scanner machines, you’ll be subjected to a patdown. I never minded much (free massage!), except that waiting for a patdown always takes awhile, and you’re subjected to gawking stares from fellow passengers who think you’ve been pulled aside because you’re a terrorist.

It was actually a TSA agent patting me down a few years ago who recommended getting Global Entry. I’m amazed that I didn’t really know much about the program even though I fly over 2 or 3 dozen times a year for work.

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If you travel at all outside the country, and hopefully in your thirties you’re doing a bit more of that, I highly recommend Global Entry.

You’ve probably heard of TSA Pre-check– this allows you to bypass the sometimes crazy lines and go straight through security in your own line.

Global Entry is basically TSA Pre-Check PLUS. You get all the benefits of Pre-Check, PLUS you’re able to bypass Customs when you return from most travel abroad…plus other awesome benefits. You get:

-To bypass the long security line at most airports!

-To leave your shoes on when you go through security (soo nice!)

– To never have to go through the airport scanner (known as a millimeter wave device). You always get to simply go through the metal detector as long as the PreCheck line is open.

-You don’t have to take your laptop out of your bag

-You don’t have to take off your light jacket

-You get more respect when you travel (when gate agents or security agents see my Global Entry card, things always seem to go extra smoothly.

– With Global Entry, your chances of getting PreCheck on your boarding pass are way higher than when you just havePreCheck. I get PreCheck on my boarding pass almost 100% of the time, but a lot of my friends who just have PreCheck (vs Global Entry) get it on their boarding pass around 60%-75% of the time.

It’s easy to apply for Global Entry- just follow the directions here. It’s $100 for 5 years, so only $20 a year- very affordable and super worth it!

TSA Precheck is $85 for 5 years, but you get none of the international and extra benefits that Global Entry gets you. So pay the 15 extra dollars and get Global Entry. It’s been the best thing I’ve done for myself regarding travel.

Portrait of a Thirty-Something: Janna Davis

We’re extremely excited to share our fourth featured Portrait of A Thirtysomething with you: Here’s the fantastic Janna Davis!

Janna’s a Corporate Presenter like me, and I get to work with her all the time! I’m so lucky! 🙂 Jane and I have been looking forward to sharing Janna’s interview with you for awhile, as Janna’s extremely open and very articulate regarding the challenges of both the 20s and 30s. My favorite part is Janna’s musings about still not exactly knowing what she wants to be when she grows up.

If you’d like to be a part of Portrait of a Thirtysomething, please let us know! Just shoot us an email at omgimthirty@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you! 🙂

Without further ado, here’s Janna!

Name/Age/Location:  Janna Davis/33/Astoria, NY

Occupation: Dancer/Actor/Model/Corporate Presenter
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Janna Davis- photo courtesy of Abigail Classey at Tea for Two Photography 

What’s the accomplishment you’re most proud of in your 30s so far?  

 At 30, I had recently moved to Los Angeles, where I had wanted to live since I was a child, and was finally getting settled in my career, finances, social life, faith and living situation.  A friend set me up with my now-husband, who happened to live in NY, a place that scared me and that I despised from everything I knew of it.  After a month of saying no, I finally allowed myself to step out of my comfort zone and entertain the idea of a long-distance relationship, something I said I’d never do.  A year of back and forth travel and an engagement later, I moved to NYC- something I said I’d never do- to be with a boy, also something I said I’d never do.  Two years of marriage, a roller coaster ride of a move across the country and countless hours of hard work to re-establish all of the things I would have sworn I would never walk away from to have to start from the ground up was a doozie to say the least.  Yet, here I am and all of that hard work is what I’m most proud of.  Of course, what I am most proud of was something that was initially largely out of my control.  However, I’m proud that I wasn’t so stubborn to close the door on a relationship that has been -and God-willing will continue to be- so fruitful because I felt like I had to hold onto my present situation.  In my 20’s, I don’t think I would have had the courage and faith to trust that everything would have worked out better than I could have even hoped for.
 
What do you NOT miss about your 20s? 
 
I do not miss having low self-esteem.  I struggled with body issues since I was a teenager and they were the worst when I was in my 20s and living as an adult for the first time.  While I was not fat, I was overweight to be a dancer (the career that I had trained for as a child and teenager) and I truly felt disgusting and unworthy of love.  While the eating disorders that get the most PR are anorexia and bulimia, the oft-neglected cousin is overeating, or bingeing and purging, just without throwing up.  Indeed low self-esteem can take on many forms.  Mine took the form of trying to be anorexic, “failing” when I got hungry, bingeing on a days worth of food, sometimes stolen from a roommate, and then starving myself until I got hungry again.  Luckily, with maturity, some education and prayer, I no longer suffer from low self-esteem and am happy to say that I have a healthy relationship with food.  (Although sometimes I like pizza a little too much for my own good.)
Looking back, what shouldn’t you haven’t been afraid of in your 20s? 
 

I shouldn’t have been afraid of being too old to do certain things.  I trained to be a professional dancer since I was young, and at 18 I auditioned for several ballet companies.  I did not immediately get accepted by any of the companies I auditioned for.  However, I took that to mean that I wasn’t good enough and that I wouldn’t ever be good enough.  I felt like dancers were retiring at 22 and by 18 you should have already “made it.”  This thought of being too old and not good enough carried into many aspects of my life. I would quit things before giving them much of a chance or before even starting because I thought I was too old.  Looking back, it’s actually pretty ridiculous.

Any surprises about what your 30s are like? 
 
I didn’t think that I would still struggle with a question I’ve been asked since I was a child: “what do you want to be when you grow up?”  I only thought about being a dancer when I was a child and later realized that I would have to go to college and pick a major.  I still had no idea what I wanted to do as a career.  After college I started to pursue acting but still always felt that maybe there was something else that I should be doing as a career.  In my 30’s I’m dancing again, pursuing acting, working in the trade show industry and running the trade show networking group United Trade Show Talent.  At one point I thought that maybe I should abandon anything performance related and I got my cosmetology license and worked in the beauty industry.  Sometimes I still wonder what I truly want to do, or maybe I’ve found it and just haven’t realized it.  It’s certainly not a question I thought I would be asked and still asking myself at 33.
 
What do you find most challenging about this decade? 
 
It’s so trite to say, but I find it extremely hard to have balance.  As a 30-something, you’re supposed to have it all.  An established career, a house (or a nice apt if you’re in NYC like me), a significant other, time for new friends and old, time for family, and perhaps a family of your own.  I feel like I have less time than I’ve ever had and whenever I devote a good amount of time to one category, the others suffer, or I don’t have time to clean my own underwear.  I still fall asleep most nights on the couch and have to be woken up by my husband to take out my contacts, floss, and put in my mouthguard.  Life is hard (yet wonderful) and I only have my own life to take care of.
 
What are you most looking forward to? Be it tonight, next month or ten years from now.  
 
Once a week, I take a day off to celebrate “Shabbat” or the Sabbath-day of rest and get together with other like-minded individuals to thank God, sing His praises, and then later take a nap after eating Chinese food and watching The Breakfast Club.  I don’t think the second part of that is in the Bible, but it should be because it’s awesome.  I work hard during the week, so it’s necessary to be able to take a day off from all things work and realize that life still goes on.
 
What would you like to hear more about regarding the thirties. What articles would you like to read? 
 
I love learning about finance.  I feel like so many people in their 30’s already have a good grasp on finance-related issues and I’d love to start feeling like I’m confident to be able to start making wise investment choices.  Also, let’s face it, we’re not getting any younger and neither are our parents.  I’d love to be able to hear how people make time to spend with their families.  Finally, as people are choosing to have children later, I’d love to hear more about what makes 30 year olds decide to have children and their experiences after children.  

Read more about Janna below:

Janna Davis is originally from Virginia Beach, VA. After staging several full length ballets for her Barbies, it was decided that indeed, she wanted to dance.  She trained at the Governor’s School for the Arts and Academie de Ballet and at many summer programs including The Juilliard School.  She attended James Madison University and graduated double major in Theatre and Communication Sciences and Disorders.  She still had no idea what she wanted to do with her life.  So she waited tables all over the country, an experience that she does not regret as she will never take for granted the joys of eating out.  Once she embraced that she wanted to be a performer, she began dancing with ACFCLA and Keshet Chaim Dance in Los Angeles. She also danced and acted commercially and in film and television.  She is a proud member of SAG-AFTRA and continually training at The Sag Conservatory.  Outside of performing, she is a loving wife, a licensed cosmetologist, and has a side career as a trade show model in which she founded the networking group United Trade Show Talent.  She currently dances with Pink Pig Ballet and sings at her synagogue, Beth El of Manhattan.  She aims to share her experiences as a performer with others through writing and vlogging to use her powers for good.

More to come!  In the meantime, feel free to follow her adventures on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JannaIsGreen or Instagram: https://instagram.com/jannaisgreen/ or Facebook: www.facebook.com/Jannaisgreen

Are There New Feelings In Your Thirties?

Do you ever feel like you’ve experienced the full spectrum of your feelings by the time you’re in your thirties?

You may not know how you’re going to feel in every scenario, but when a feeling arises, you’ve probably felt it before. After all, once you’re in your thirties, you start recognizing different versions of the same scenarios repeating again and again…so you start to get familiar with the feelings that come up again and again…like a familiar mix and match.

I never consciously felt like I’d experienced the full gamut of my feelings, but unconsciously, I thought that there were no new feelings under the sun for me.

Then today a wonderful and very exciting thing happened and I sort of couldn’t believe it. Afterwards, I almost went into shock. I felt all tingly and almost exhausted, but also sort of glowing and dreamy and unreal. It was a new feeling, which I dubbed ‘happy shock.’ I didn’t remember feeling it before. I knew ‘bad, unhappy shock’ or just plain ‘shock’ but ‘happy shock’ was a new one. And it was really exciting.

Later, I saw a play that a friend of mine wrote. It was extremely sad, and I couldn’t stop crying throughout most of it. Usually, even when plays are sad, it’s very rare that I cry and feel so connected to and affected by what’s happening. The play was extremely well-written, so that was definitely a part of it, but I think the new ‘happy shock’ feeling earlier just opened me up to my emotions in general. Perhaps one new feeling can start a bunch more.

Do you ever experience feelings you’ve never had before? Are there multiple ones yet to discover?

How Much Should I Be Contributing to My Retirement Account in My Thirties?

The Suze Orman Show recently went off the air and I’ve been heartbroken ever since.

I never watched Suze on tv, but I listened to her show religiously, podcast-style. After all, Suze’s money commentary was addictive, and she dispensed the good advice to give up cable, which I haven’t had in years to begin with.

There are so many points Suze repeated over and over that made simple what used to feel so complicated in the world of money. She kind of changed my life. In tribute to her, my next few money posts will be as short and simple as possible- her best ideas were short and powerful and repeated time and time again.

So here’s how much you should be contributing to your retirement account(s) in your thirties:

1. First, if you are an employee (and not an independent contractor) make sure you are actually signed up to contribute to your work 401k. Are you SURE? I have so many friends who thought they were signed up for years but actually weren’t. So they contributed ZERO…by accident. Double check.

2. Second, if your workplace offers a 401k match, contribute money into your 401k up to the match. Then stop and contribute to your IRA or Roth IRA. 

3. If your workplace doesn’t offer a 401k match, or you’re self-employed, start out by contributing the maximum to your IRA or Roth IRA. Don’t know how to open an IRA? Read about simple ways to do so here.

4. You can contribute up to $5,500 a year to your Roth IRA OR your IRA. Total. Try to hit that mark. If not, do what you can.

5. Contribute what you can to that IRA or Roth IRA. This is your main retirement vehicle. I try to contribute 10% of my income to my Roth IRA. Many financial advisors recommend 15%…I’m not ready for that yet, but once I finish paying off my student loan I will be.

6. If you max out both your 401k MATCH and ALSO your Roth IRA or IRA, then go back to your 401k and contribute as much as you can. You can contribute up to $18,000 in 2015.

7. If you don’t have a 401k because you’re self-employed like me, and you’ve maxed out your Roth IRA or IRA (good for you!), then you can start contributing to special retirement accounts for the self-employed. Learn about those here.

Hope this helps you learn how to save for retirement! Please ask any questions you have- I’m happy to answer or find you answers! 🙂

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