It’s been a big week for me. I’ve been dealing with some personal issues and I’ve had some trouble maintaining routines – including writing on this blog. So thank you for bearing with me!

I’ve been lucky enough to keep my temporary job at summer camp, and that’s provided ample work and distraction for me. Since it’s an arts camp, all the employees are artists themselves – filmmakers, writers, actors, etc. and it’s nice to be with people who feel like they are part of my ‘tribe.’ In fact, in the near two years I’ve been in LA, I haven’t had such instant connections with people as I’ve had in the camp.

One of my fellow staffers is turning 30 in August, and we’ve been talking about what that means. For her, it means taking a huge adventure to move across the globe to pursue her artistic discipline. But of course, it’s a big decision and scary one. It got me thinking about decisions we make in our 30s.

Do you ever feel like the decisions we make in our 30s are loaded? Like, they carry an exceptional amount of weight because this is a ‘do or die’ decade? We’re making choices about career and family that may have implications for the rest of our lives. That can be somewhat paralyzing when it comes to making choices.

But yesterday, a wise person told me there’s a big difference between making mistakes and having regrets. You can make a mistake and not have regrets. You make choices and in doing that, you are powerful and exercising your agency as a human being, and for that you can never have regret.

I remember a TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert where she talked about not regretting decisions you’ve made in the past, because you made them with all the information you had at the time. I loved that. Regret doesn’t make sense in a life where we’re constantly evolving and growing as people.

So, here’s to not being so precious about each and every step in our 30s.

I don’t know about you, but I find the summer to be the best time for reading. My mind is naturally in a more day-dreamy state (yes, I just made up a word) and I have more free time than usual. I’m excited to read a lot of books this summer, but I’m starting with The Vacationers by Emma Straub. It’s set in Mallorca, Spain and it’s about a family who is taking one of their first big vacations in years, after some pretty big issues have taken place. 

While I can only read one fiction novel at a time, I can usually read a non-fiction book at the same time. So this summer, I’m going to try and pick back up Tony Robbins’s Awaken the Giant Within. I started it a few months ago, because Laura and I deemed it our next book club pick after hearing so many people call it life-changing, but we both read a few chapters and then put it down. We both agreed that maybe it was because there are “homework” exercises after many chapters, and that deterred us. It’s not that we’re lazy and don’t want to do the homework, but usually we’re reading at night before bed, or on commutes, and it’s hard to just switch into paper and pen brainstorming mode. But the plan is to get back to it and finish it. A lot of “self-help” writers that I respect and admire are huge Tony Robbins fans.

So, what will you be reading this summer?

How are you kicking back this Summer? Hopefully you’ve got a vacation or at least a three-day weekend planned. I don’t have a proper vacation on the horizon, but since I’m job hunting, I do have a lot of down time. So I’ve been doing relaxing things like watching my favorite new shows (Seven Year Switch on FYI, Amy Schumer Show, Fresh Off the Boat), reading, general loafing, indulging in long phone conversations and eating delicious things. But it’s not quite the same as vacation. Not even close really, especially because I have the spectre of the job hunt looming over all my free time.

I was lucky enough to get a job for a week at an arts camp, which I started today, so that’s been fun. Being at the camp reminds me of my own experiences at both day camp and sleep away camp, and how they both really allowed my mind to wander and reset itself. I can’t say I loved camp (all that constant socializing can be hard for an introvert!), but I appreciated being out of NYC for awhile, and how the days felt so different from school days.

Would you ever consider Summer camp for adults? And yes, they do do exist! This place sounds very cool to me:  Camp Grounded. The focus of this camp is about digitally detoxing. Their motto is “disconnect to reconnect.” You basically give up using your phone, social media accounts, etc. and have an off-the-grid weekend participating in activities.

There are tons of specific interest camps – like the Culinary Institute of America camp, or Long Island Wine Camp. But the old-fashioned summer camp experience for adults sounds more up my alley – including color war, s’mores and bonfires. This place sounds like another fun option, Camp No Counselors. Though, just because you can afford it, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to attend – they cherry-pick their guests to create a dynamic mix of people.

I guess organizing a weekend get-away with your friends is similar – and doesn’t require any application process or hefty fees. Still, the idea of being “taken care” of at a summer camp and provided with specific entertainment sounds pretty great to me. Maybe one day…

Taking a “break” from camp at the UCLA sculpture garden

I hope you had a great 4th of July! Mine was very restful – I saw the new Pixar movie Inside Out, which was fantastic. A must-see. If you don’t already know the plot, it’s about a young girl named Riley and her emotions – which are all characters onto themselves. It put me in a very introspective mood about feelings and how we emotionally adapt over time. It reminded me of something I read last week that I wanted to share with you.

There was an article in the NY Times Magazine last weekend about psychoanalysis. They talked about the work of a psychoanalyst and researcher named Dr. Andrew Gerber. He was describing the transformation of some of his patients as similar to the chemistry process called “annealing.” I had never heard this term before, but the author of the article, Casey Schwartz, described it in layman’s terms as:

“the act of heating something so that all its molecules dance around wildly and then slowly cooling it back down so that it assumes a new and more stable state.”

I thought this was such an interesting way to describe the process of psychoanalysis and therapy in general. I’ve never done psychoanalysis, but I have done therapy. And sometimes you do go through this process whereby you think it’s not working at all and you’re vacillating between extreme feelings about the whole experience and your own emotions, but then somehow, at some point, you realize a big shift has taken place. It’s somewhat hard to describe without it sounding vague and nebulous, but it’s basically when you feel like you’ve become a new version of yourself after a certain period of internal turmoil and transition.

Therapy aside, I think there are several time periods in one’s life that act as “annealing” processes, if you will. When you’ve reached your 30s, you’ve probably gone through at least a few of them. For me, puberty, college, and the several years haze after college when I emerged into the real world were those periods for me.

How many times in our lifetime do you think we go through a process of emotional re-assembly?