New Online Dating Apps In Your Thirties

I previously wrote all about online dating apps (and online dating sites) in the post Online Dating In Your Thirties. In this post, I detailed the only four dating apps and dating sites that I’ve been -ahem- intimately familiar with (aka the ones I have used in the past). These include OKCupid (more of a website than an app but also an app), Tinder (ugh), Hinge (probably one of my personal favorites), and Bumble (which I never really used much because I learned about it last, but most people love this one right now).

Anyway, I’m not using any of these apps or sites anymore because I’m in a relationship! (OMG! But I’m going to leave you hanging there…that’s for another post ūüėČ All I’ll say is that I’m very happy!). So, because of my experiences with online dating when I was single for almost 2 years, I highly recommend dating online to my friends and many of my coworkers (haha, yep, my coworkers and I are very close). A lot of my friends are scared or averse to online dating, but I am a huge proponent of it for a few major reasons:

  1. It seriously opens up the dating pool (the sheer number of people you can meet online is amazing- and you really will meet people you would likely have never have met “in real life” – even if they were close by.
  2. When you meet up for coffee or a drink or dinner with someone who you discovered on an online dating site or app, it’s actually a date. (There’s no ‘is it or isn’t it?’ It’s a date…you met on a dating site. )
  3. It’s easier for busy or more solitary people to find dates.¬†(If you work from home or you travel a ton for work but want to meet people in your home city, online dating helps. If you work with the same 10 people, and don’t usually talk to strangers on the street or in coffee shops, online dating helps. Again, online dating just ups your probability of meeting single people looking to actually date.)

The other day I was trying to help my recently single coworker find a good dating site or app to use, and we realized that there were a lot of new online dating apps out there (or at least ones I hadn’t heard of or wasn’t that familiar with). I recommended the usual Hinge, OkCupid, Bumble, and I steered her away from Tinder. But she opened up the app store and searched ‘online dating’ apps, and found some random new ones that seemed good/interesting to her. They included:

Clover (clover.co)¬†– Described by Metro News as “Clover takes the simplicity of Tinder and combines it with Match.com!” And described by Clover as Clover= Tinder+Match+Okcupid+Zoosk+PoF and so much more.

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Zoosk (zoosk.com)– Apparently “Zoosk was named the best dating app of 2016” by Wallethub. And according to App Annie and Techcrunch, Zoosk is the #1 iOS app in all time revenue. At least that’s what it says in their app store description.

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Happn (happn.com)– I’d actually heard of Happn, but I heard about it very late…even after Bumble. I never used it, but it’s unique… Happn describes itself: “Every time you cross paths with someone in real life, their profile shows up on your timeline. You’ll be able to see the number of times you’ve crossed paths with someone, as well as the time and place of your last encounter.” Interesting…maybe a little much, but interesting. Kinda like Craigslist Missed Connections…but with much more likelihood you’ll actually connect.

Happn-logo

Anyway, those are the new apps I’ve heard discussed recently. Have any of you had experience with them? What are your thoughts? Any singles reading this should pick one and give it a try and get back to us. ūüėČ Remember to set your goal as ‘I want to meet some new people and have fun’ and not ‘I want to meet my soulmate.’ I think things will be a lot easier that way, and then you’ll always win because you’ll always be meeting new people. As I said before in a previous post, with that mindset¬†dating is NEVER a zero sum game.

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Online Dating In Your Thirties

Online dating in your thirties is awesome. It’s also terrifying. I know some people who hate online dating and others who swear by it. I’ve gone to¬†weddings of friends who met their significant others online, and have also listened to multiple friends tell me that they’d never go on an online date again.

If you’re single in your thirties and have never given it a go, I urge you to try. Obviously, stay safe and meet in public places and all that good stuff- but otherwise, be open to new experiences. If you want to be single for awhile, that’s awesome and perfectly okay, but if you’re trying to meet someone and don’t want to do online dating because it seems scary or ‘not genuine,’ I think you’re potentially missing out. I know that some of you may swear that you only want to meet your special someone IRL (In Real Life), but I feel like online dating only increases the number of people you end up meeting, and helps you connect with people who you might have had a hard time finding otherwise.

You’re busy and have a lot of things going on in your life and career- it’s hard to meet people, especially in big cities where everyone’s busy and rushing around. You probably don’t¬†want to¬†limit yourself to guys/ladies you meet at bars, or solely date your coworkers. Sure I know a few couples who’ve met in one of those¬†ways, but I believe that dating is actually kind of a numbers game, and online dating exponentially increases the number of people you can meet. And meeting new people can be fun in its own right– even if you don’t find your soulmate right away.

So without further ado, here are some free online dating sites and apps to try:

OkCupidokcupid.com

OkCupid is probably one of the most tried and true free dating apps out there. It’s been around for a long time- it launched in 2004- so it has a lot of users, which is good. It’s both a website and an app, so this is a good one if you don’t want to be online dating on your smartphone only. OkCupid is one of the most writing intensive of the online dating sites- it requires you to fill out a bunch of question and answer statements (what they call ‘essays’, but they’re not essays).¬†It’s a great app for sheer breadth of people you can meet, and, if you’re a stickler for grammar, it really showcases whether someone is a good writer or not.

Tinder gotinder.com

Tinder is a swiping app only, and is not a website. You swipe people either left or right depending if you like them or not- so Tinder is the opposite of OkCupid, in that it’s not writing based- solely looks based. Tinder is known more as a hookup site, but isn’t limited to that…so it can be a bit on the hazy side in terms of what people want from being on the app. The swipes on this app are unlimited, so it’s known to become an addictive habit. Most people who hate online dating are¬†Tinder users, so I don’t recommend it for beginners to the online dating world. I’m also not a big fan of Tinder¬†anyway, because of their semi-icky¬†nature and ageist policies.

Hingehinge.co

Most people don’t know Hinge, but it’s slowly becoming an online dating fan favorite. It works by connecting you to friends of friends on Facebook, so it’s kind of like being introduced to your friends’ friends’ friends without the trouble of an introduction. ¬†You don’t have to do much to set it up, because, as it works¬†through Facebook, it’s able to pull a lot of your data from your FB profile- so you don’t have to upload any new photos or write that much at all. The Hinge profile¬†is a profile you can create in minutes. Also, although Hinge, like Tinder, is also swiping app, it limits your swipes to only a couple of people a day, so you can put down your phone, stop the madness, and have a life outside of the app. Hinge is a great app for online dating beginners since it’s easy and user-friendly, especially if you have a good amount of Facebook friends (the more FB friends you have, the more recommendation possibilities for the app).

Bumble– bumble.com

Bumble is a swiping app, like Tinder and Hinge. However, there are a few major differences. One– it isn’t known to be a hookup only app the way Tinder is. Two– It doesn’t go through Facebook. Three (and most importantly)– It only allows women to message first. That’s the Bumble catch. So if you “match” with someone (you both swipe right= “yes”to liking each other), then only the woman can say the first hello. If she doesn’t, the match disappears within 24 hours and you’ll never speak again (on the app at least). Make of Bumble what you will, but I think it’s a neat and different little marketing concept. Bumble¬†also has unlimited swiping- a la Tinder- so it can be addicting. And Bumble was actually started by Whitney Wolfe, one of the cofounders of Tinder. And Jane actually wrote about Bumble here before.

So go enjoy! Don’t be ashamed to be single in your thirties! You may never get to have this amazing time again, and some of your married friends may even be quite a good bit jealous of you. So go date, online date, and live it up!

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Single in Your Thirties? Here’s How to Ruin a First Date

I just saw the funniest Facebook post today about how to ruin a date in only 5 words. Everyone was commenting with suggestions, and a few of them were quite genius.

In this technological modern age, there’s more online dating happening than ever before, which basically translates into more dating happening than ever before…or at least¬†more online penpal-ing? But anyways, with the amount of dating going on¬†nowadays, a ridiculous¬†multitude of¬†dating horror stories have arisen. Of course, there are lots of really good dates, and even great dates, but the funniest stories usually come from the crazy dates. From constant texting to Facebook stalking to misrepresentations on Tinder, the dating arena’s a lot more like the wild west¬†than it ever was before. And I realized recently that there’s a whole lot more semi-blind dating happening now than it ever has in the past.¬†OkCupid, Tinder, Hinge (have you ever even heard of that one??) and plenty more dating apps have brought a whole new series¬†of strange events and bizarre occurrences…at the very least! But don’t be scared- interesting¬†dating stories are happening to anyone¬†who’s brave enough to put themselves out there! And it’s all kind of awesome.

There’s a lot I can say about dating, and I will talk more seriously about it in another post, but for tonight, just sit back and enjoy some absolutely terrible first date comments that may just make you laugh till you cry.

Here are some of the best suggestions for how to ruin a first date in just 5 words. Enjoy!

The Obvious Issues

  • It’s not contagious anymore…hopefully
  • Honestly, your friends hired me
  • They haven’t convicted me yet
  • I know where you live
  • My lawyer says no kissing
  • When will this be over?

The Family Issues

  • You remind me of mom
  • My curfew is at 9
  • What’s your sister’s phone number?
  • My dad’s on his way
  • By the way, I’m married
  • My current wife is missing

The Political/ Cultural Issues

  • Have you considered Donald Trump?
  • I don’t believe in education
  • My role model’s Kim Kardashian
  • Ann Coulter is my hero
  • Theater is like live TV
  • I don’t believe in independence

The Technology Issues

  • I already Facebook stalked you
  • Those Tinder photos weren’t me
  • Wait, I’m tweeting about this
  • I’m only 40 pounds heavier
  • I just bought your domain
  • Hold on-¬†texting my ex

The Seems Like Maybe Red Flag Issues

  • I figured, hey, free dinner!
  • You are really rich, right?
  • I’m high. Everything is funny
  • I only speak in rhyme
  • Yuck! I hate all foods
  • I heard you were desperate
  • Hurry! I have another date
  • I got that waitress pregnant
  • No one¬†else was available
  • Meet my psychiatric service dog
  • My biological clock is ticking
  • I think I love you

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What the hell, Tinder?! Blatant Ageism Towards People Over Thirty in the Online Dating Sphere

Tinder recently introduced a form of “surge pricing” for its famous dating app. They’re now charging American singles 30+ years of age twice¬†what those under 30 will pay. The app will be $9.99 for those under 30, and $19.99 for those 30 and older.

In the UK, Tinder will charge the 28 and older single crowd more than FOUR times the cost for younger generations. Converted from pounds, this comes out to around $23 compared to around $6!

The price change comes as Tinder introduces it’s new Premium upgrade, Tinder Plus.¬†If you use the free version of Tinder, it will still be free…for now.

Tinder¬†can get¬†away with charging whatever the heck it feels like because it’s owned by¬†IAC/InterActiveCorp, which controls 27 percent of of the¬†$2.2 billion dating-services industry. Included in IAC’s portfolio are Match.com and OkCupid. Heard of them?

Although I’ve personally never used Tinder (well, I’ve swiped through on a friend’s app), this price surging¬†strikes me as blatant ageism. It’s discrimination pure and simple! Isn’t it difficult enough to be over 30 and single? Does there really need to be a dating app pointing out that you’re too old and therefore not as valuable to the online dating scene? There’s already a shameful age bias to being single over thirty – does Tinder really need to add to it?

Although it’s TINDER afterall, and you might expect them to pull a dick move like this, it’s still making a pretty awful statement. Tinder’s singling out older daters…just because it can. Even TechCrunch wrote an article titled New Tinder Charges Whatever It Wants.¬†They say, “older users, who theoretically have less supply and offer less demand, pay a greater amount for extra dating tools.” Tinder’s excuse is basically that it’s courting the younger crowd, who “are more budget constrained, and need a lower price to pull the trigger.

I get the idea of this excuse (younger people are poorer), but the policy still sends a crappy message to quite a large group of “older” singles (who aren’t old at all). Plus, people in their 20’s aren’t necessarily poorer than people in their 30’s anyway. And the excuse just seems like a blatant marketing lie. Wired magazine says, in their article titled Yes, Tinder’s New Pricing is Ageist Pure And Simple, “why not just be honest: Tinder is charging us more because it thinks we are desperate.¬†Desperate to find our last chance at love and willing to pay whatever it takes.”

I’m hoping that singles over 30 boycott the Premium Tinder until this price difference is adjusted. Possibly, we should boycott Tinder altogether for making such a biased statement. Hopefully Tinder gets the message and comes up with¬†a middle ground price that’s equal for all ages.

Do I think this is likely? Nope. Do I think dating in your 30’s is fair? Nope. But one can dream.

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