One of my new friends, who I have a feeling will be a lifer because she’s so damn awesome, is turning thirty this weekend. We’ve been talking about how that makes her feel and how I felt when I turned 30. I remembered back to the two birthday dinners I had, and how low-key and special they were. I just felt cozy being surrounded by a small group of people that I truly loved. By the time I hit 30, I had abandoned the idea of big blow-out bar nights in favor of quiet restaurants where I could hear everyone speak.

Anyhow, her birthday got me diving deep into an internet vortex searching for other women’s opinions on turning 30.

I found this gem of an essay, On Turning 30, by Molly Crabapple on VICE, and wanted to share it here. She tackles the idea that women lose value as they get older because they become less physically and sexually appealing. But she basically says that getting older provides women with great freedom, and that she herself felt liberated because she wasn’t constantly propositioned by men.

My favorite part of the essay was the end, when she wrote:

Like many thrilling things women do—fucking or hitchhiking, being demoniacally ambitious or telling an asshole to stick a chainsaw in his eye—society tells us that growing up leads to ruin. Yes, you get older, but you can also grow tougher, kinder, braver. You can claw out the life you wanted. But as you age, the world will tell you you’re less worthy, even if you know that’s a lie. If there’s one thing society won’t stand for, it’s for a woman to be content.

So to all the birthday girls out there, here’s to not thinking we’re in any way less worthy than we were in our 20s!