Happy Monthiversary!

We usually never write on Sundays, but we just wanted to say thank you so much for reading! It’s November 2, our first Monthiversary, and we already have over thirty articles about the thirties!

firworkThank you for reading and being part of this! You’re the best!

We really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on our website. We hope it’s as fun for you as it is for us, and we’re excited for many more monthiversaries to come.

Also, if you’re in the US (or certain parts of Canada), make sure to change your clocks and sleep an extra hour- you earned it!

xoxo
Jane and Laura

Help! I’m 30 and Never Followed My Childhood Dream!

There was this episode of “How I Met Your Mother” where Ted and the gang all realize that they may never accomplish “someday” childhood career dreams they’re all still holding onto.

Someone had always wanted to be a painter, someone else a rockstar, and then there were a few really ridiculous ideas…I can’t remember all of the dreams. The gang reminisces about the career pursuits they once longed for. Some of them try to pursue the dreams once again in order to turn them into a reality. They realize they’ve all been hoping to accomplish their childhood dreams ‘one day.’ By the end of the half hour, they let the dreams go, and keep on the path they were on before. The moral seems to be: we need to put those childhood dreams to rest for something better to take hold in our lives.’

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Lily wants to be a painter. Barney wants to be…a knight? Who knows? Hahaha, he’s pretty funny no matter what.

 

I was never satisfied with that episode. I think one of the reasons it got under my skin was that my career path has taken such a different turn from what I’d originally expected. When I watched that episode, I wondered if I’d given up on my childhood career dream. Am I still holding on to the belief that I’ll one day pick up my former dream again? Is that belief false?

Right now, I’m a self-employed Corporate Spokesperson and Product Specialist (to be better explained in another post), and I work in a lot of different industries, traveling at least half the time. I really enjoy what I do. When I don’t ponder dream careers and childhood ‘what I want to be when I grow up’s”, I feel a deep satisfaction with my job….for now. But then I think along the lines of: ‘Am I pursuing my dreams?’ ‘Is my inner child satisfied?’ ‘Do I know what my career dreams are?’ The questions lead me down all sorts of analytical paths.

I wonder what it means to feel satisfied right now while not pursuing my childhood dream. 

I wonder what my career dream really is. I always thought I wanted to be an actor- but that’s not my dream at the moment. What do I make of that? Have I given up? Was it never really my dream?

I think of the famous men and women who began what became their ‘defining career start’ later in life. The long list of people includes Vera Wang (40 when she entered the fashion industry), Henry Ford (57 when he created the Model T), Suze Orman (36 when she started her financial group), Gene Hackman (37 when he got his first film role), Colonel Sanders (62 when he franchised Kentucky Fried Chicken), Stan Lee (38 when he created his first comic: The Fantastic Four), Julia Child (50 when her first cookbook came out), Laura Ingalls Wilder (65 when the “Little House on the Prairie” books came out)….and many more.

Some of these people pursued a childhood dream that was finally accomplished late in life, and others ended up on a completely new career path…or two or three. I’m sure all of them had moments of confusion about the paths they were on. I’m sure they had many more moments of feeling like they failed. But the important part was that they kept on, proving that they were trying even while possibly failing and failing again.

Right now, I’m satisfied with my career. I’m not pursuing my childhood dream, but it’s not what I want at the moment. And for now, all I can do is listen to my gut. There are times when I’m filled with doubt, and times when I feel confused, but I find clarity in trusting myself and continuing forward, trying to be brave enough to fail and fail again. I make changes as I go, add and subtract, and above all, I continue questioning.

Careers twist and turn, and it’s both okay to pursue your childhood dream with a vengeance, or to let it go to make room for other dreams…or then to pick it back up again years later. Stay honest with yourself, know it’s never too late, and let yourself question your dreams, both old and new.

 

The Day After the Best Day Ever

There was a wedding in Canada I went to last summer that basically went on for a week. It felt like every day leading up to the “big day” was a celebration. The bride and groom planned food tours around Montreal, different city walks during the day, and all sorts of expeditions on the days before the wedding.

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Neat buildings seen from a boat ride around the Montreal harbor.

The wedding day itself was amazingly fun, creative and beautiful. It was one of the most enjoyable weddings I’d ever been to. And then the week continued on.

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We tried all different flavors of delicious Canadian poutine! Woohoo!

The afternoon after the wedding a bunch of the wedding party and a few friends all met up again to have lunch and get some poutine (which is a delicious Canadian french fry dish where fries are mixed with cheese and gravy, creating pure happiness.) While we ate, I asked the bride how she was feeling. She replied in an only half-joking bittersweet tone: “It was the best day ever… I want to do it again!! I wish I could get married every day…I can’t believe it’s over!!”

As we wandered around one of Montreal’s parks with our cheesy gravy-covered fries, I thought about how her long anticipated big day had come and gone. The bride’s “best day ever” was now yesterday.

The day after the best day ever always feels like a gamble; Even if it’s pretty good, it’s worrisome that the happy feelings will subside. There’s this residue of greatness now gone that hangs in the air. It’s so hard to hold on to that best day- when it occurs, the urge arises to grab it, but it always slips away.

Sometimes a yearning for ‘yesterday’ will leave me feeling unsatisfied and melancholy; And what’s funny is that even though this ‘day after the best day’ will happen every time, I always struggle against it. I wonder when and if another ‘best’ day will come again…and I wait. And I remember.

But then, in certain moments when things are calm, I think of all the other days and what they might mean. I wonder about them- there are so many more days stretching before me than there are those special, momentous ‘best days ever.’ Will they mean anything in my life? Are they only here to be squandered?

And in my clearest seconds, sometimes during a run at dusk or mid-meditation or on a long bus ride home, I feel a spark of contentment, a flicker of gratitude, a flash of clarity.What if today- and all those ‘other days’ and ‘other moments’ – are equally as great as the best days? Sometimes the clear feeling is as subtle as a touch of wind, and is gone as fast as it came. For the moments in its wake, I’m left confused, struggling to grasp the insight and bring it back to me. But as of late, my goal has been to embrace the confusion and just let it go.

What if the best day ever wasn’t yesterday or won’t even be tomorrow, but is actually right now?

So You Want to Get Plastic Surgery

Renee Zellweger has been all over the news recently regarding her facial transformation. This news is so ubiquitous that it twice has made it onto a daily ‘top ten world news items’ email that I subscribe to.

Her new image caused me to do several double takes. I searched her name on Google in order to see even more unrecognizable photos. And I must admit my first few thoughts surfaced quickly: I judged her. Harshly.

‘What has she done to her face?’ I thought to myself. “It’s horrible that I can’t recognize her anymore! WHY would she do that?”

And then the opinion pages popped up all over the internet:

“She shouldn’t have done that to herself- she should be natural!!”
“Goddammit! Why?? She looks totally different! I liked her old face!!”
“The horror!! She looks even older now!”

And like a rapidly dividing cellular organism, the opinionated groups split and split into voices screaming everywhere:

“Be natural,” “Looks like an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSON,” “Trying to look younger,” “Horrifying” “Don’t talk about it anymore!”

But we’re talking about it. Even when we shut up, we’re thinking about it. It’s part of our culture to judge and put beauty and the act of aging under a microscope. Celebrities are under the microscope more than non-celebs, but only because they have more photos/video taken of them, and are seen by more people. Aging is judged for us all, and so people who try to combat aging are judged and reviewed even more. And this media frenzy has happened right now because Renee Zellweger seems to have “failed” the aging test.

In our society, women aren’t supposed to look like they’ve aged if they want to be valued; so the question strangles us from a young age: how do we stop letting age show on our faces and bodies? How do we pass the aging test? Can we eat perfectly “clean” and follow the ‘right’ exercise and sleep routines and be balanced and meditate and never stress out? Can we ‘make up for aging’ in some other way, by perhaps excelling with our creative talent (the Meryl Streep argument), utilizing our outstanding intellect, accomplishing our inner goals and dreams? Will these things make us better?

Maybe they will and maybe they won’t, but the purpose of all the above achievements and routines was never to make us LOOK better, but to make us BE better.

Becoming a better person inside doesn’t always show physically. It seems fair that inner beauty will always shine through on the outside, but life isn’t fair- when did we ever think it was? It is 100% certain that we will all age. There will be people who naturally look younger when they are older- a combination of luck and some habits and genes. Then there will be people who look their age or older- also a combination of luck and some habits and genes.

If successfully ’passing’ the aging test means looking looking naturally younger or “natural but still very good” then you will have ‘passed’ if you luck out by aging well ‘naturally.’ If you don’t feel like you have aged well naturally, then you’re stuck being judged for ‘looking old.’ So you can try to fix this with plastic surgery, Botox, or other outside help- but you will only have succeeded if the ‘help’ is a secret..if it’s completely and mysteriously invisible.

So the ‘aging test’ goes into super difficult bonus round challenge if you reveal the secret…you’re not allowed to show that you’ve had-gasp!- surgery! You can’t show that you’re trying to beat the system ‘unnaturally’– that’s cheating!

What’s that? Did I just write that we’re set up to fail?

I think so. The system that’s in place is set up to be all but impossible to beat. It’s a system of hypocrisy and double standards, of secrecy and judgement. The only way to beat it now is to join it, to believe in it or live in shame. And that’s not really beating it at all.

Our system is broken. It’s NATURAL to AGE! It’s Natural that age shows on our faces and bodies. But what our culture wants is a youthful look at all costs. So let us not judge plastic surgery. Let us judge our culture.

Are the People You Date Just “Tolerating” You?

What does it mean when you pursue people who don’t call you back, are flaky, or seem only ho hum about you?

It’s scary to allow only the best into your life and to let go of the mediocre. However, in these busy times, when every person and article and job duty and creative endeavor is demanding your attention, how can you allow anything else?

An article called “Fuck yes or no!” on Mark Manson’s fantastic website basically sums up whether to go forward with dating someone. Start by asking yourself: do I want to be with this person? Is your answer ‘Fuck yes!’? Ok, proceed. Hesitant? Stand down. But you have to glean the other person’s answer too, because it works the same in reverse: is the object of your desire saying or seeming to say ‘fuck yes!’ to you? Great. But are they not returning your calls? Are they sporadic and vague? That’s not a ‘fuck yes!’ my friend, and so it’s a no.

It’s a painful truth, and it’s in no way a perfect truth. Of course people change and grow. Of course you can work on things together. Of course, some things are a ‘fuck yes!’ at first lustful sight, but then turn into an ‘umm, no.’ And occasionally vice versa…but that’s rare. I’s best to start strong.

Mark says “There’s a grey area in dating… a grey area where feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger feelings than the other. This grey area causes real, tangible issues. For women, a common question is what to do with men who make their feelings ambiguous.” He continues to talk about how most dating advice exists to ‘fix’ the grey area…but the grey area mean it’s already a no go! How much simpler is everything when you actually heed that advice??

In your thirties, what you used to tolerate in your twenties becomes less tolerable. That’s why it’s important to first know what you want and who you are as best you can. Make your feelings clear to yourself and then you can figure out whether your answers to everything- not just dating, but friendships, career choices, creative projects- are a major ‘fuck yes!’ or an ‘ummm..hmm.’ And then ask yourself whether that other person or project seems to to be loudly calling your name as well with an ‘absolute fuck yes, for sure!’

Proceed accordingly. Celebrate your choices. It can sometimes be just that simple.

"Fuck yes!"

Saying yes!

The Difficult Simplicity of You Celebrating You

Have you ever wanted to become somebody else?

Perhaps you’re at a party and a friend starts telling hilarious jokes or pulls out her best French accent. You suddenly wish you knew more jokes or had a fun accent ready to go as well.

Then you’re scrolling through Facebook and you see an acquaintance with a perfect bikini body who always seems to be drinking Mai Tais in Cancun. And/or you’re slammed with post after post of perfect engagements or amazing job titles. You wonder why you’re single and pasty white from lack of beach time fun..and also, how come you never tried to become an opera singer? Why didn’t you have the idea 10 years ago to begin computer programming or get an MBA?

Jane recently wrote about five things you should leave behind in your twenties. “Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated” slammed me in the face as the hardest lesson I’ve grappled with this year. It’s a difficult lesson when you’re constantly unsure how to celebrate yourself…because you’re not exactly sure who it is you’re celebrating.

I’m an extremely curious person and I’ve spent a lot of life wanting to be everyone at the same time. I’m in a state of constant wonderment about other lifestyles, other careers, and other ways of living. I make decisions about who I am slowly and carefully…and as I’m trying to pick a lifestyle from an endless array of choices, I ignore the lifestyle I’m already living. The hardest person for me to see has always been myself.

As I’ve realized this in my absolute latest twenties, life has gotten slightly easier. Maybe I don’t have to be the person who has tons of jokes up her sleeve or can command a room with a party quirk…maybe I can keep my natural ways of being a great listener and observer instead. That’s more the person I organically am.

And when I turn away from Facebook for awhile, and alternatively enjoy a morning mediation, I even feel comfortable alone with myself in the moment, far away from the stress of who I might become.

Perhaps, like me, you’ve had trouble knowing how to celebrate yourself. A major key is to find the difference between two desires: the desire to better who you are and the desire to become a different person. One desire is healthy and will push you forward (even though it may feel scary and difficult at times), but the other desire will scatter your energy and throw you out of balance …because it isn’t you.

Bettering yourself can mean anything from embracing your natural tendency towards unique clothing choices to signing up for a half marathon because you love running to letting yourself feel confident while remaining silent. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not naturally sarcastic, or naturally size 0, or a naturally a great software developer.

Yes, of course you can change, but it’s easiest to change into the best version of the self that comes naturally, easily, when no one is looking.

Celebrate that person, no matter where and who you are right now.

 

 

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Help I’m thirty!

The other day, I googled “help, I’m thirty” and found a bunch of strange and scattered articles about the “Big 3-0.” Many left me with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. The urge to both to go running and eat a pint of Haagen Daz came over me.

Then I found one article consisting of a woman named Dorian (you’ll see the irony of her name in a second) asking a question to an advice columnist. The almost-30 year old Dorian was extremely worried about losing her looks to aging. She described herself as beautiful to the point of self-obsession, staring at herself in the mirror and becoming completely enraptured with her own beautiful face. She wrote about people on the street gazing at her longingly, because “there truly is nothing like a beautiful face.” Dorian was completely devastated about the inevitable doom of her declining good looks.

Dorian’s letter depressed me thoroughly, not only because it scared me, but because I wanted to hate this woman and couldn’t. What I really hated was my jealousy of her…how was she so beautiful that everyone gazed at her longingly day in and day out? How could she stare at her image in the mirror and obsess over her beauty?  Then I worried about the looks-obsession that had completely permeated society. And then I worried much more about the looks-obsession that had completely permeated my own life. Damn it- how did I let this happen to myself?? And why couldn’t I shake it??

The advice columnist (a woman by the name of Polly) fired back a thoughtful response that hit me like a bucket of cold water. Polly told Dorian: “What are you going to lose, exactly, when you get older? Even when I picture you as Giselle, I remain unmoved. The enraptured gazes, the shimmering whatever… It’s so hard to imagine. It makes me tired just thinking about it…The world is so much more engaging and incredible than you’re making it seem. What’s kept you in this two-dimensional realm of the mirror? Who trapped you there? What’s at stake?”

I thought about these questions. Something shook in my heart.

Polly asked “Haven’t you ever met anyone who wasn’t conventionally attractive, but who was incredibly charismatic and enviable? If not, you really need to get out more. …Instead of gazing at your own heart-stopping face, you should throw out your mirror and dedicate yourself to something that feeds your soul and makes you feel even more alive than, I don’t know, admiring your own image? It’s a bad habit.”

I thought of the people in my life who had grown enormously hot as I got to know their gorgeous personalities. Or, sadly even more common, I thought of the incredibly hot people who quickly turned hideous after I found out they were rude, flaky, vacuous, or just plain bad at being generous human beings.

Sometimes I have a rough time shaking the feeling that looks mean more than anything else. Society bombards me every day with messages about the utmost importance of physical beauty. But then occasionally I notice beautiful things that strike me way beyond their physical look. And I observe beauty growing with age.

My fears release for a second with Polly’s wise words: “You say there’s truly nothing like a beautiful face. That statement makes me imagine a giant plate of delicious nachos, a good book, and a cold beer. It makes me think about dogs with weird personalities, and funny children. It makes me think about the sound of rain on the roof when you’re taking a nap in the afternoon. Pretty faces can go fuck themselves, compared to peanut butter cups.”

Yes indeed, Polly. Yes, indeed.


Read Polly’s words for yourself here: http://www.theawl.com/2013/07/ask-polly-im-almost-30-and-im-terrified-of-losing-my-looks

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Around Age 30, Saturn Returns!

Are you in the age range of 28-30, 56-60 or 84-90? Then say a nice warm welcome to the planet Saturn, for he is returning to say hi to you and teach you a lesson or three!

A Saturn Return is an astrological transit that means that Saturn is returning to the same point in the sky that it occupied at the time of your birth. If you’re into astrology at all, read on.

Saturn can be quite the pokey planet, so a Saturn Return only occurs around every 28-30 years or so. Most people are happy about this because while Jupiter is known to be the planet of luck, happiness and abundance, Saturn is the harsher planet of maturity and learning life’s lessons.  Therefore, people can get quite scared of Saturn returning with his occasionally rough teachings.

You can only get about 3 saturn returns in your lifetime, (4 if you’re lucky and live till 116 -and you never know, medical technology is getting better all the time), but the first one at around age 28-30 will probably come as the biggest shock. A major lesson or turning point is supposed to hit you hard during this time. No matter how unpleasant, Saturn returning means it’s time to tuck your head and bravely get through the storm.

I used to work for a pretty amazing astrologer. She’s been working with astrology and writing about it for over 25 years, has written a few books and multiple magazine columns, and has a very famous website. I learned a lot from her. But the biggest thing I remember was wondering about this mysterious Saturn Return. I was only 22 at the time and I saw so many people write in to her and ask about it. Sometimes they wouldn’t realize it was even happening until they told her their age. Then they’d realize that whatever crazy thing they were going through just happened to coincide with their Saturn Return.

Now, the astrologer’s response to Saturn Return worriers was always very positive. She would tell people that Saturn teaches his lessons for a reason. Sometimes there are things you need to learn in order for you to grow. It may seem harsh, but Saturn Returns help you to mature and change the things that aren’t working anymore. And so, in a way, Saturn Returns are extremely beneficial.

That’s not to say that they aren’t difficult. Since I’ve just turned 30, I’m getting to the end of my Saturn Return and it was quite possibly the most difficult time in my life. That doesn’t mean Saturn Returns always have to be so tough, but I guess I was pretty darn resistant to learning its lessons. I hope in the future I’m able to implement as much as I can of what Saturn tried to teach me in the past year.

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The Gift of Living to Thirty

What if you knew you weren’t going to make it to age 30? What would you do? Doctors recently told 29 year old Brittany Maynard that she had a rare tumor in her brain that would stop her from living to celebrate her 30th birthday. Brittany decided to take matters into her own hands.

When Brittany learned that she had stage IV glioblastoma multiforme- a rare type of brain cancer that would kill her in a matter of months, she was living in California, but she and her husband decided to move to Oregon after the diagnosis. This is because Oregon is one of a handful of states that upholds what’s known as the Death With Dignity Act. This act provides options for dying individuals to choose when and how they would like to end their life, helping ensure that their final time on earth will be filled with as little pain and suffering as possible.

Brittany told People magazine, “My glioblastoma is going to kill me, and that’s out of my control. I’ve discussed with many experts how I would die from it, and it’s a terrible, terrible way to die. Being able to choose to go with dignity is less terrifying.”

Brittany has chosen to end her life on November 1st, in order to spend October 30th with her husband on his birthday. She will take prescription medication in her own room surrounded by her closest family and best friend. “Now that I’ve had the prescription filled and it’s in my possession, I have experienced a tremendous sense of relief,” Brittany said. “And if I decide to change my mind about taking the medication, I will not take it. Having this choice at the end of my life has become incredibly important. It has given me a sense of peace during a tumultuous time that otherwise would be dominated by fear, uncertainty and pain.”

Though the Death With Dignity Act has become more accepted in recent years, and has been adopted in Washington, Vermont, Montana, and New Mexico, there is still some pushback against it. People are saying that a terminally ill patient choosing to end their life early is still committing suicide calling and calling the Death With Dignity act ‘assisted suicide’ and ‘euthanasia.’ Brittany has said this in response: “There is not a cell in my body that is suicidal or that wants to die. I want to live. I wish there was a cure for my disease but there’s not.”

I’d never heard of Death With Dignity or glioblastoma multiforme before Brittany’s story. I’m glad that she’s able to end her life on her terms and not completely at the mercy of her disease. My heart breaks for this brave, beautiful woman who will not live to see age 30.

Watch Brittany’s amazing video here.

You can join me in signing a thank you card to Brittany. Her story of courage at the end of life has become an inspiration to millions of people around the world.

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Taking Yourself on a Date

The other day I made a secret plan. I picked out a movie I wanted to see, researched the nearest movie theater to my hotel (I’m still working in Dallas), and figured out the best time to go to the theater. I was going to go to a movie alone, something I’ve never done before.

You see, as much as I enjoy my own company, I’ve just never been good at trying totally new activities on my own. I usually let other people introduce me to new experiences. Once I’ve done something a few times, it gets a lot easier to continue, but it’s always difficult to begin. I go running alone, and I usually exercise alone, and I can even go on tours of cities alone and explore museums alone, but I’d never gone to the movies alone…and since I’d never done that before, I wasn’t sure if I ever would.

So I decided that it was time to take myself on a movie date. It was quite an exciting thought. I’m single right now for the first time in over 5 years, and I want to spend some time getting to know myself better – what better way to do that then to take myself out?

So I got into the date mindset. I made sure I picked a movie I’d wanted to see for awhile. I arranged for the hotel shuttle to pick me up, put on my favorite music before I left and exercised in my room for a bit. Then I picked out clothes for myself that made me feel good and fixed my hair. When I got to the theater, I put my phone away and explored the bar. Then I sat where I wanted to sit and ate the movie snacks I wanted to eat. When the movie ended, I stayed put for all of the credits and let everything soak in. It was kind of glorious.

The movie was amazing and the experience was even better. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen a movie alone sooner. It was a great date! Woohoo!

Haha, I guess the idea of taking myself on a date had seemed scary and depressing in the past. And maybe the whole thing could’ve been scary or depressing…like any date. But this outing had been fun and enlightening.

Hopefully I’ll go out with myself again soon.

If you’ve been thinking of taking yourself out solo, I say go for it, even if you’re feeling hesitant. It’s worth a try! Or have you already done this? What was your experience like?

landmark-s-magnolia-theatre

I saw ‘Boyhood’ at the Magnolia theater in Dallas. Brilliant movie- filmed over 12 years…quite possibly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.

Working Away From Home on Your Birthday

I’m self-employed and my job takes me out of town a lot. Three years ago, I worked away from home during my birthday. I was in Chicago, staying at a Holiday Inn with two coworkers. After a long day of work, my coworkers were tired and didn’t want to go out.  One of them sweetly bought me a beer and appetizers at our hotel bar/restaurant. It was a kind thing to do, but I couldn’t stop feeling like the whole day was extremely depressing, and I swore to never work away from home on my birthday again.

This year, I broke my promise and was out of town working once more on my birthday. I ended up getting a really amazing job in Dallas that I’m still out of town for. The job takes me out of town for 24 days, one of them being my 30th birthday.

At first I was worried I was going to feel really lonely and depressed. I had already planned a birthday dinner out with my closest friends (a tradition I love every year) and when I got the job, I cancelled the dinner. Then I had a better idea, and changed the date of the dinner for when I got back. Having a birthday celebration still happening at a later date made me feel a lot better- like the party hadn’t stopped, it’d just gotten delayed.

I was then much calmer about being away for my 30th. And once I let go of my expectations, an amazing thing happened- I ended up having one of the best birthdays ever- even while away from home. I relaxed and simply made a plan for the night. I invited everyone I worked with out for dinner and drinks, and I researched restaurants and bars in Dallas. I found a well-reviewed (go Yelp!) Afghani restaurant (never had Afghani food before in my life) called Nora and it ended up being awesome. Then a coworker recommended we head to a line-dancing, two-stepping, mechanical bull-riding (never done any of those things) bar called Cowboy Red River. It was like nowhere I’d ever been before, and we had the coolest night, Texan style!

Letting go/relaxing on my birthday was the major foundation for a great night. I had no real expectations, but it helped to have a plan and get people on board with it early. I was also lucky to be surrounded with really supportive people who made the day feel special.

I guess this once again all figures into my favorite quote- “wherever you go, there you are.” Even though I was away from home, I felt much more centered this year, and I took that feeling with me. No matter what happened, I knew that I was okay. And it was nice to feel at home with myself on my birthday, even on the road.

At Cowboy Red River, after riding the mechanical bull and before an attempt at the two step..

With my amazing coworkers at Cowboy Red River in Dallas, after riding the mechanical bull but before attempting the two step.

30 Quotes About the 30’s!

It was actually hard to find 30 quotes about being in your 30’s. I mean, there are a ton of sayings about being over the hill and ‘older than dirt’ at 30, but I didn’t really enjoy those so I didn’t bother listing them. If you google ‘being 30’ or look at any birthday greeting card, you’ll easily find the negatives, though.  They’re the majority…ah, we live in such an ageist society.

I ended up having to broaden my list to include more funny quotes, thought-provoking quotes, book quotes, quotes from current celebrities and inspirational speakers. That helped. Attention writers: the world needs more quotes about being 30! (Update: We actually made a coloring book with our favorite thirties quotes!) Here’s a list of my favorites in no particular order:

  1. 30 is three perfect 10’s. -Anonymous
  2. 30 was the best year of my life until the next year and then the next. Every year since 30 has been the best year. -Bonnidette Lantz
  3. Everything I know I learned after I was thirty. -Georges Clemenceau.
  4. A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.  -Andy Rooney.
  5. At 20 years of age the will reigns, at 30 the wit, at 40 the judgement. – Benjamin Franklin
  6. 30 was so strange for me. I really had to come to terms with the fact that I’m now a walking, talking adult. -CS Lewis
  7. I didn’t write any fiction until I was past thirty. -Grace Paley
  8. Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did. -Rita Mae Brown
  9. There’s an ‘Everything must go!’ emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn’t there? What will happen if we turn thirty and we’re not ‘ready?’ You don’t feel entirely settled in any aspect of your life, even if you are on paper. -Sloane Crosley
  10. Many a man who has known himself at ten forgets himself utterly between ten and thirty. – Catherine Drinker Bowen
  11. At age 30, one receives strength. -Talmud
  12. Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years. -Oscar Wilde
  13. “It doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be by the time you turn eighteen or thirty-three or fifty-nine. It doesn’t have to conform to whatever is usual. It doesn’t have to be kismet at once, or rhapsody by the third date.It just has to be. In time. In place. In spirit. It just has to be.” -David Levithan
  14. I wish I was a woman of about thirty-six dressed in black satin with a string of pearls. -Daphne Du Maurier (Rebecca)
  15. You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life. -Coco Channel
  16. There is only one way to read, which is to browse in libraries and bookshops, picking up books that attract you, reading only those, dropping them when they bore you, skipping the parts that drag-and never, never reading anything because you feel you ought, or because it is part of a trend or a movement. Remember that the book which bores you when you are twenty or thirty will open doors for you when you are forty or fifty-and vise versa. Don’t read a book out of its right time for you. -Doris Lessing
  17. The truth is, part of me is every age. I’m a three-year-old, I’m a five-year-old, I’m a thirty-seven-year-old, I’m a fifty-year-old. I’ve been through all of them, and I know what it’s like. I delight in being a child when it’s appropriate to be a child. I delight in being a wise old man when it’s appropriate to be a wise old man. Think of all I can be! I am every age, up to my own. -Mitch Albom (Tuesdays With Morrie)
  18. Thirty-nine is a sweet number. It’s thirteen times three. It’s also the sum of five prime numbers in a row – 3,5,7,11,13. And if you add the first three powers of three, 3 to the first, 3 to the second, and s to the third, you get thirty-nine. -Rick Riordin (The Maze of Bones)
  19. Thirty was a big deal for me. It was the age where I reevaluated everything – how I approached life and how I thought about myself. – Amy Adams
  20. I just came into my own sexuality at thirty. I don’t think it’s something you can deeply experience at 18 or any time before that. -Eva Longoria
  21. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little. -Shannon Hale (Austenland)
  22. Travel is “Maybe I don’t have to do it that way when I get back home.” It’s nostalgia for studying abroad that one semester. Travel is realizing that “age thirty” should be shed of its goddamn stigma.” -Nick Miller
  23. I was thirty-seven years old and still discovering who I was.” -Julia Child
  24. Some we know to be dead even though they walk among us; some are not yet born though they go through all the forms of life; other are hundreds of years old though they call themselves thirty-six. -Virginia Woolf
  25. They were all in their early thirties. An age at which it is sometimes hard to admit that what you are living is your life. -Alice Munro
  26. I prefer sinners and madmen, who can learn, who can change, who can teach-or people like myself, if I may say so, who are not afraid to eat a lobster alone as they take on their shoulders the monumental weight of thirty years. -James Baldwin
  27. When I turned 30, I was done with Thousand Island dressing. I have moved on to Island Number 1001.
 -Jarod Kintz
  28. The Master said, At fifteen I set my heart upon learning.
    At thirty, I had planted my feet firm upon the ground.
    At forty, I no longer suffered from perplexities.
    At fifty, I knew what were the biddings of Heaven.
    At sixty, I heard them with docile ear.
    At seventy, I could follow the dictates of my own heart; for what I desired no longer overstepped the boundaries of right. -Confucious
  29. Basically, I realized I was living in that awful stage of life between twenty-six to and thirty-seven known as stupidity. It’s when you don’t know anything, not even as much as you did when you were younger, and you don’t even have a philosophy about all the things you don’t know, the way you did when you were twenty or would again when you were thirty-eight. -Lorrie Moore
  30. She didn’t feel thirty. But then again again, what was being thirty supposed to feel like? When she was younger, thirty seemed so far away, she thought that a woman of that age would be so wise and knowledgeable, so settled in her life with a husband and children and a career. She had none of those things. She still felt as clueless as she had felt when she was twenty, only with a few more gray hairs and crow’s feet around her eyes.- Cecilia Ahern

We’ve recently (July 2017) made a coloring book with all 30 of these quotes! If you’re looking for a gift for your thirty-something year old friends, the book is beautiful, fun, and a perfect birthday present! Here’s a link to the 30 Quotes About the 30’s coloring book. And this is a link to a black background version of the book. Enjoy!

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The Broad Question of 30

This post was originally titled “Who Am I At 30?” I had to change the name because it paralyzed me with fear.

Who am I at any point? Every day I feel different. I almost didn’t write this post today because I wasn’t in a writing mode. That may change tomorrow- and so maybe tomorrow would be a better day to write this post.

I’m writing today anyway. Today is always the best day to write a post, dammit.

So who am I at 30? I don’t know if I know the answer any better than my 29 year old self did. I’m a collection of things…I even made a list in preparation to write this post. It went:

I’m extremely reliable
Family and friend oriented
All about dependability- flakiness= sadness
A traveler
Introvert who wants to be an extrovert
Vegetarian
Kind, but my neutral face looks mean- fools people
A runner
Happiest when I’m helping someone
Most content on 7.5 hours of sleep or more, preferably from 1am to 9am
Drawn to meditation

Little things:
A lover of water bottles with built in straws
Perpetual pasta craver
Obsessed with talking about cities I’d love to visit
Summer = best season
Lover of lists- to-do lists are especially good.

I don’t know if that list even starts to answer the question “Who am I at 30?” But I think it scratches the surface of the question “Who is 30 to me?”

Who are you, 30???

On all previous birthdays, I’ve asked myself: What is new about this age? Am I any different than the year before? The answer has usually been “I don’t feel any different.’ Yet 30 feels different. It has its expectations. There are stigmas here. Milestones. Landmines.  It feels like uncharted territory in a way the twenties have never felt. To me, 30 is a stereotype, the top of a never-ending mountain, the shadowy cloaked figure that means “real life adult.” And then it also means “that’s not true at all!” I know tons of people in their 30s and 40s who are completely different than the stereotypes suggest.

One of my favorite quotes has always been “wherever you go, there you are.” Even when I feel like I’m getting away from everything I call home, I realized quite a few years back that I’m still always taking myself along with me. It was an interesting lesson to learn. Relating that quote to my 30th birthday, I’m starting to think the new lesson is: “However you grow, there you are.” Ok, that’s corny…because, you know, because I was trying to phrase it the same, whatever… But the point is that even though you’re always ending up at an older age, there you are.

And so here I am at 30. On the precipice of something that feels uncharted, unclear, undetermined. I’m either at the end of something that’s barely begun, or the beginning of something that’s barely ended. But it’s still me. Yes, that feels right. I’m here, 30! I’m somewhere in there.

Hi, I’m Laura. And I’m also thirty. Today.

“Are we there yet?”

Oh my god, we are here. This is it. This. Is. 30. I’ve just turned 30 today. Eek, the 40 year old version of this movie wasn’t so good. So I hope this is a better place.

But where exactly am I?

I don’t know. Have 30 years of my life really gone by? Wow. That seems like a lot.

I have memories of being 8. Of being in grade school and reading about the lives of the sisters in the book ‘All of a Kind Family’ and wishing I was younger so that I could be the same age as the sister named ‘Charlotte.’ Because I really liked the name Charlotte.

I remember being 10. Of standing in a D’Agostinos supermarket on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and staring at 9 lone bottles of maraschino cherries and profoundly thinking: I’ll never be a single digit age again.

And then, at 15, I remember sitting in a youth theater and reminiscing about the twists and turns my life must have taken to get me to where I was. I thought:  ‘I can’t believe all of my decisions have led me here. To this theater. To being cast in this stage version of ‘Singin’ In the Rain.’ Right now. How does life work that way?’ And then I turned around and met Jane.

Jane was getting ready to rehearse with me for the show, but for a moment, we were just strangers sitting in an audience. And then Jane and I went out for pizza one day after rehearsal and watched another cast member shove his face into a pizza pie and throw all his money into the street and do some more crazy things that feel like a dream now, but I’m pretty sure were real. I don’t know what became of that cast member, but laughing at his craziness at the time caused Jane and I to start bonding.

And then Jane and I continued bonding and found out that we went to the same high school and realized we sort of had everything in common. We both loved theater, could gossip for hours, were obsessed with pizza in all of its forms, could laugh until it was physically painful, enjoyed planning all of our future romances, and plotted crazy schemes involving catching criminals and solving the biggest mysteries of the universe.

Come to think of it, not much has changed.

At 15, we became the closest of friends. Fast forward countless birthdays, laugh fests and cry fests later, and here we are in our thirties. And because we still love exploring the mysteries of the universe, and can’t resist a good laugh, we want to stop and explore the thirties. And the idea for this website was born.

A major thing Jane and I both have in common is an obsession with painful truths that lead to possible enlightenment. We also both love sharing and listening to stories about maybe horrible but often hilarious experiences. And we feel the need to write everything and anything down. So we ask you: what are the thirties about? What does this strange age mean? The aim is to find answers, truths, stories, or perhaps even more questions about the strange phenomenon that is the thirties. Nothing is off-limits- we talk about the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. The goal is to smash up the stereotypes and spill out the stigma of thirty.

Instead of what the thirties should be, we want to open up what they are and what they can be. We hope you enjoy the exploration, join in on the laughter, and help us crack some unsolved mysteries.

 

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