Author Archives: janersays

Loss Aversion and Switching Your Career in Your Thirties

February 26, 2015 By in Career Tags: , 1 Comment

Are you familiar with the phenomenon of loss aversion? Basically, it’s a proven psychological principle that people have a tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses to acquiring gains. It’s been shown that the desire to avoid losses is nearly twice as strong as acquiring gains. This explains why people hold onto tanking stocks even though all indications say to “sell!” It’s also probably why we often get stuck in a fear based mindset as opposed to an abundance based one.

I was thinking about this idea today in terms of switching careers. I’m in a funny/ambivalent spot myself, because I’m pursuing screenwriting but I also crave stability and consistent growth, which I don’t think this career can give me. So I have been wondering lately – what’s stronger – my desire to keep pursuing dramatic writing OR my desire for stability and consistent career growth?

I started thinking about perhaps I’m afraid that by starting a new path – at almost 33 years old – I will have “wasted” all the time. Is this simply loss aversion coming into play?

This article, The Big Reason It Might Be Time To Quit Your Job has some enlightening statistics about people who switch their jobs. Only 23% of people said they could easily switch careers.

Do you think you could switch careers at this point in your life? What would be the factors you would consider? How much of a salary cut would you take?

A Sweet Compromise

February 25, 2015 By in Grab Bag 4 Comments

I’ve always been a dog person. Ever since I can remember, I’ve dreamed of having a dog and having that solid, cuddly companionship. But I grew up in Manhattan, and my parents told me that it would be unfair to have a dog in a small apartment with two adults who had full-time jobs. They were right. My dad ended up hooking me up with dog walking gigs in the building.

Now that I’m in my thirties, I feel like I can give myself those things I so desperately wanted as a child. Since I moved to California about a year and a half, I’ve been pressuring my fiancé for a dog. He’s been the voice of reason (amen), and we’ve avoided getting one because he’s mildly allergic AND our apartment is a one-bedroom. Even though we’re in California, our space is Brooklyn-sized.

So we decided a that fostering would be a sweet compromise. We ended up fostering a sweet pooch who I picked up yesterday. Meet Chase. Two month old German Shepard mix, who was picked up roaming the streets of Palmdale, California, hungry and dehydrated.

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I’m writing with a sleepy brain now, because I’ve been on high alert all day, making sure this small animal is safe and sound. I’ve been on bathroom duty all day, and I’m pooped (pun intended!).

Taking care of a puppy is TOUGH – I definitely underestimated how tough it is. OY.

But at least now my childhood dream is somewhat realized. I’ve had a dog for a full twenty-four hours!

What did you want a child that you’d like to give yourself as a bona-fide “grown-up”?

Top 10 Money Mistakes to Avoid in Your 30s

February 21, 2015 By in Money Tags: , 3 Comments

In no particular order, here are 10 money mistakes to avoid in your thirties:

1. Only paying the minimum on your credit card

No. No. No. Avoid this, unless you absolutely cannot. The interest on some of these cards is bonkers (30% anyone?), and it’s just not worth it.

2. Not Considering the Benefits of a Company You May Work At 

Think about all the benefits a future company can offer you. Not just the job itself.

Choosing to work at a company that offers matching funds for your retirement 401K is an amazing perk and you absolutely MUST take advantage of it. Larger corporations often offer matching funds and it’s basically free money, so don’t let it pass you by.

Also consider how good the health benefits are, if there are benefits at all. How much will you have to pay monthly? Do they cover services like physical therapy and talk therapy?

Are there other benefits to consider? Like education or free daycare. I worked at a college for 4 years, and I was able to get a FREE MFA if I wanted. Umm…free Master’s Education, heck yeah! That’s worth like $40,000. I would have done this if they offered writing, but they didn’t. However, imagine if you worked at a school like Columbia, and could a Master’s program that would up your earning potential. Awesome. In many cases, you can also get your children free tuition down the line, if you’re still working at the school of course.

3. Spending too much on little things 

From your $3 cold brew iced coffee to your $1.75 Dasani cold water (guilty), all of these little extravagances add up. Sometimes, at the end of the day, I think about all the small fees and treats I could have avoided paying for, and usually it’s been $3 and $5. So let’s say I could save an extra $5 a day, that would be $1825 a year! Holy moly. That’s a lot of money.

4. Apartment Broker Fees

In NYC, it can sometimes be between 10 and 12% of the annual rent – which can be about one month’s rent or anywhere from $1100 to $2000, depending on what kind of apartment you rent.

I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve paid at least three broker fees when I lived in NYC. That was about $3000 lost dollars. There are ways to get around paying broker fees, and searching for these ways is the best way to go. It may mean a longer search time, or using more unorthodox methods (like asking friends of friends), but it’s worth it.

5. Not Picking Up Loose Change on the Street 

My mom taught me this one. Laugh all you want, but if you see a penny, a quarter, a nickel – anything, pick it up! Seriously. It’s not just about the money itself. I think it truly cultivates a sense of reverence towards money. Every time you don’t pick up change, it’s like saying “Oh, that’s just a nickel, who cares!” but what a terrible mentality. Let’s say you manage to pick up 10 cents a day everyday for 10 years (Which actually seems pretty likely considering how many pennies I see lying around), you’d have $365 dollars after 10 years. Not chump change.

6. Not Shopping Around for Groceries 

I adore Rao’s tomato sauce. It’s anywhere from $7.99 to $9.99 a jar, but man, that stuff rules. It’s absolutely delicious and tastes like you’re eating at a real Italian restaurant. Yum. But the point is that normally it’s on sale, recently Whole Foods has been carrying it for $7.99, and that saves me a whole $2 each time I buy it.

7. Not Choosing the Best Option between Renting and Buying 

I really don’t know how to describe the exact math here, but use this handy calculator to determine the best option for you.

8. Not Shopping for Clothing on Sale

Most stores have sales now that offer days when all items are a percentage off. In particular, Banana Republic and the Gap ALWAYS have their damn 40% off sales, at least once a week it seems. Why would you buy any full-price item that’s NOT 40% off? Those are the main two clothing stores I shop at, so I always wait until that deal is around before I purchase an item.

9. Investing in high-cost managed accounts 

Laura knows more about this than I do, but some investment and mutual fund accounts have fees attached to them, from the 1% fund management fee to the 1% financial advisor fee, you end up paying 40% of your returns (generally between 5 and 7%) to your broker.

10.  Having too many automated payments

I love my fiancé and he’s really good with money in most senses, but he has WAY too many automated payments. From paying monthly fees for Photoshop to Spotify, he pays a ton in monthly payments for services.  The problem with automated payments is that you forget about them. They become like financial wallpaper. And I think that’s dangerous. Again, it goes back to having a reverence for money.

BONUS:

11. Not Consistently Checking Your Credit Score 

I use the free service Credit Karma, and I check in every few months to see if my score has gone up (or god forbid, gone down). Having a high credit score can save you THOUSANDS of dollars in the long run, especially when you want to take out a mortgage. Staying above 760 is ideal. Even higher is better.

Hope this helps! If you have any tips of your own and would like to share, please do.

The Stigma Attached to Not Wanting Children

February 20, 2015 By in Grab Bag, Health and Wellness Tags: , , , 1 Comment

Have you noticed there seems to be a stigma around being a woman of a certain age who doesn’t want children?

To preface this post, I’m not writing about myself and my own desires not to have children. I personally do want children, but I also wouldn’t be devastated if I couldn’t have children. I am an only child and I’ve always had a desire to have a bigger family, and naturally I feel pretty maternal.  I’m nearly 33, so this whole ‘having children’ thing is on my mind.

Despite wanting children, at this stage in my life, I identify more with the woman who wants time to work on her projects and her career than have children. I love my alone time to think, ponder and daydream. I love vast swaths of private time with no particular place to be or people to see. Is this me being an INFP? Perhaps. But, I’ve always been a late bloomer in my life, and in this particular area, I don’t have the luxury of being a late-bloomer. Of course I could wait till I’m nearing 40 and chance it with having kids, but that is indeed, chancing it.

When I say I want children, it sometimes feels like the “I” I’m thinking about my future self; specifically, the needs and desires of my future self. The same way I might plan for retirement financially or dream about having two dogs and a jacuzzi, deep soaking bathtub when I’m older and have more money.

I’ve just noticed lately that there’s such a stigma to not wanting to have children. The stigma seems to be this notion that if you don’t want children, it’s because you really did but you put your career first or didn’t find a husband/boyfriend in time, and now you’re subconsciously justifying your ‘choice’  And I hate that! Choosing not to have children can be a very active choice and not some by-product of running out of time, as it is often portrayed.

Another aspect of the stigma seems to be that there’s something inherently not ‘natural’ or ‘feminine’ about not wanting children. So many characters in films who don’t want children are tough and mean, like the evil corporate bitch that is Sigourney Weaver’s character in Working Girl.

This whole post was inspired by an interesting article I read on Dailyworth.com, Why I Never Wanted Kids. The article touched a nerve because I was surprised and intrigued by all of the reasons the author listed for not wanting children. There was one in particular that I never thought about: Having a negative experience as a child and not wanting to subject another person to that. I thought that was intriguing. While I had a good childhood, it wasn’t a reason I could relate to, but I could certainly empathize.

Do you have friends that know they don’t want children? How do you view their choice?

Would You Invest In Real Estate With Your Friends?

February 17, 2015 By in Friendships, Money Tags: Leave a comment

Tonight I had the pleasure of going to a women’s film mentoring group here in LA. It was a laid-back discussion about goal setting between a diverse group of women in the industry, including directors, actors, writers and even a woman who specialized in commercial real estate brokering for the film industry.

My ears perked up when one very accomplished woman talked about how one of her side projects was real estate investing. She talked about how her and a group of friends invested in homes together and then sold them at a profit. The lead mentor chimed in and applauded what a great idea that was, saying that women need to be more assertive in investing; to take more risks. It got me thinking about women and investing and if it’s really true that women are less risk-taking than men. I did some cursory research tonight and came up with a few interesting facts from a recent study from BlackRock, a New York based investment management firm. Here were some takeaways:

  • 61% of women agreed with the statement, “I am not willing to take any risks with my money,” compared to 41%of men.
  • 30% of women considered themselves active investors, compared to 37% of men.
  • 19% of women said they felt comfortable investing in the stock market, compared to 37% of men.
  • 7%  of women said they allocate take-home income to investing, compared to 12% of men.

While investing can take all kinds of forms, I’m curious – would you ever invest in real estate with your friends? Personally, I think I’d be too wary of inter-mixing friendship and money. I like to keep my friendships completely pure and unsullied. This question reminds me of an article from last year in NY Times which profiled groups of couple friends who bought Brooklyn townhouses together because they couldn’t afford the homes on their own. I thought that it sounded like a solid idea in theory, but I think the potential for building resentments between friends could be overwhelming. Maybe that’s my anxiety speaking. What do you think?

. Bedstuybrownstone1

Is Your Job Suited to Your Personality?

February 14, 2015 By in Career Tags: , 4 Comments

Have you taken the Myers-Briggs personality test? It’s considered one of the top personality questionnaires available, and it measures how people perceive the world and make decisions. You can take the test on lots of different websites, but I recommend 16 Personalities. It’s completely free and the test takes about twelve minutes to complete.

I discovered that I was an INFP, an introvert, intuitive, feeling and perceiving person. When I read the description, I was pretty amazed at how accurate it seemed. I am an idealist who lives very internally. I avoid conflict, and I don’t give myself enough credit for accomplishments (though I’m kind of giving myself credit now, aren’t I?).

Once I dove deeper into resources surrounding the findings of the Myers-Briggs, I discovered a host of websites catering to specific personality types. There’s a ton of crappy SEO content websites, but some sites are actually very informative. In particular, there are a ton of great resources for finding jobs suited to your personality. I came across this awesome info graphic about which jobs are best suited for different personalities.

The best job fits for me are: author/writer and counseling/social services work. This is pretty accurate, considering I’m a writer now and I’ve always thought if I wasn’t pursuing writing, I’d probably be getting my Masters in Social Work or Psychology. And hey, I still might.

Take the test if you haven’t already. And if you have, check out the personality types. Does your position match your personality?

Feeling Old in Grad School

February 13, 2015 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , Leave a comment

I can’t help but feel old these days, even though I know the feeling is environmental. It’s because I’m nearing 33 years old (wow!) and I spend much of my days surrounded by undergrads. I’m a graduate student in writing at UCLA, and I am constantly surrounded by eighteen to twenty two year-olds. There are 29,663 undergrads at UCLA, so you can imagine how packed the campus is.

Unlike a lot of grad students, I’m on campus everyday because I have a part-time job at the college library. So I happen to be in the undergrad scene every day. It feels funny to be standing on line at Jamba Juice getting a smoothie with half of the undergrad gymnastics team or getting solicited to join the various campus groups (Acapella, anyone?). Like I’m perpetually stuck in this very specific time period of life. The experience has been disorienting, to say the least. It doesn’t help that I also spent four years post-college working at an arts college in Manhattan called SVA (The School of Visual Arts). I was 25 when I started my job there, so I felt like a “recent grad” myself. Working at SVA was fun and exciting, and made the transition to the real world somewhat smoother. But, it seems like the background of my life narrative these past years seems to be the world of academia…

While I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by only thirty-somethings, I do feel like I miss the diversity of various age groups – from younger to older folks. But, with grad school, you take the good with the bad. I love my program, and I’m at least surrounded by this absolutely magnificent campus.

Look familiar? UCLA’s campus is used in tons of movies and TV shows, most recently Royce Hall (lowest photo) was featured on The Mindy Project.

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Have you been to graduate school? How did it feel for you?

roycelarge

Being A Good Friend

February 10, 2015 By in Friendships 2 Comments

I read this article in Sunday’s NY Times titled How to Be a Friend in Deed, and it really resonated with me. The article talks about how old-fashioned modes of friendship can be lifesavers for friends in need. Instead of the more tech/social media communication like texts, emojis, sympathy wall posts, and emails – the author advocates for being present with your friends. Showing up. Casseroles. Taking them to drinks unprompted.

The author, Bruce Feiler, talks about how we sometimes we:

“succumb to the drive-by badges of contemporary friendship — a “like,” an emoji, a hashtag (#JeSuisThinkingofYou). What if you don’t believe all those platitudes: “Love ya! You’ll get through it! Everything happens for a reason!”

He goes on to talk about how sometimes, when our friends are suffering, we have a tendency to shift the obligation to them instead of initiating. We tell them that if they need anything, they should reach out. I’m sad to admit I’m guilty of this! My emails, texts or voicemails to a friend in need have sometimes included a line like this: “Let me know if you need anything” or “If you want to get together, let me know!”

I should really know better! When it’s me dealing with a crisis or feeling particularly down,  I rarely ask for help. I don’t want my friends to think I’m a sad sack so I tend to stew quietly alone until I feel at least a little better. BUT, when someone does break that barrier, it feels amazing. I feel this rush of gratefulness.

As we move into our thirties, hard life stuff happens with more regularity. Job loss, parental illness, death of friends and family,  financial struggle and all of those tragic things that come with being an adult.

So I found this article to be a  great reminder that our physical presence – even just a phone call – can make all the difference in the world to someone struggling.

The article is definitely worth a read. I especially loved this part of the article:

Alain de Botton, the best-selling author of many books, including “Art as Therapy,” told me that he was once deeply worried about “a mess I was in with the media.” “A friend of mine did the best thing,” he said. “Rather than say everything would be O.K., he said quite simply: ‘I will like you if I’m the last person to do so. There’s nothing you can do to put me off you. You’re stuck with me for life. You may hate yourself, and the world may, too; but I won’t follow suit.’ ”

How beautiful is that? If that’s not friendship, I’m not sure what is. I know that I’m going to try harder to be a better friend. To be present for the people I love. How about you?

If Your Job Sucks Right Now, Read This…

February 7, 2015 By in Career Tags: , 1 Comment

Stuck in a crappy work situation? Feel either completely stressed out or in a job that you have zero passion for? Well, here’s the good news. You’re not alone. Apparently, this may be typical for thirty-somethings. According to new research, people in their late 20s to early 40s report lower levels of job satisfaction and higher levels of emotional exhaustion than other age groups.

The reasons for this have been hypothesized here, and may be 1) Social support at work is less because people are competing for higher level jobs. Additionally, when you’re younger you want to have more of a social network at work, but you don’t seek it out as much when you’re older because you possibly have a family and children and other social networks to maintain. 2) Many people in their thirties also have caregiving support to give at home, and thus less downtime for themselves.

While you could wait it out until your 50s (the decade when people reported highest job satisfaction), maybe it’s best to find a way to make your job more accommodating to your shifting life demands.

A lot of my friends have asked for flexible working schedules – they work from home 1 or 2 days a week, or they have a part-time schedule with freelance work.

And if it’s just that you find yourself in a job you hate, it’s time to re-evaluate. Life is too short to spend your hours miserable. Here’s a list of signs that it might be time to quit your job.

The Paradox of Self-Acceptance

February 5, 2015 By in Health and Wellness Tags: , 4 Comments

Remember last week when I wrote about “Radical Self-Acceptance“? Yeah. Well. That’s really hard. I mean, duh. I knew that. But besides being hard, something always bothers me about this concept of 100% self-acceptance.  How do we completely accept who we are, but also self-improve? This week, I asked my therapist this question. I asked him how to reconcile these two opposing ideas. He said that he gets that question a lot, which immediately made me feel better because clearly the answer (if there is one) is not obvious. Anyhow, I got kind of lost in his answer, but basically he said something about harnessing the energy of self-acceptance and “playing around with it.” Typing that now I realize it sounds kind of ridiculous, but in the moment it made sense. Or, some kind of sense. I think what he meant was that accepting ourselves give us the freedom to change things up and take risks.

Do you have any idea how to reconcile these ideas? I’m still working on formulating my own opinion, so I have nothing concrete to share at the moment.

Meditation has made me ponder these questions a lot more lately. A few folks have asked me where to begin with a meditation practice, and I’ve recommended this amazing app called Headspace. It’s free to start, and there’s a ten day free trial with 10-minute practices everyday. There are also neat little videos along the way that clarify complex concepts. The man who leads the meditations has an incredibly soothing, Australian accent and I believe he used to be the voice behind an app called Buddify, which I loved a few years back. It’s $12.95 a month after your free trial, but in my mind, it’s a small price to pay for solid, guided meditations.

To happy pondering and self-acceptance!

Self-acceptance

 

Have You Lived Alone?

February 3, 2015 By in Family, Friendships, Health and Wellness Tags: , 7 Comments

There seems to be this idea that if you’re in you’re in your 30s and can afford it, it’s time to say goodbye to roommates and live alone. It’s like there’s a certain period of time for roommates and then it ends. Obviously, this is different in major, expensive cities like NYC (where I think the cheapest studio in a safe neighborhood would begin around $1200 – and that’s a very low estimate. More likely it’s $1300 now.)

A recent NY Mag article, Does Living Alone Drive You Mad? inspired this post today. The article is mostly about older people who live alone, and the author zigs and zags across different ideas, types of people living alone, and varying circumstances. Deep down, the writer seems terrified of living alone for a long period of time, which is understandable as she was married for over 20 years and now has a live-in partner. But it bothered me that the article had a somewhat negative slant.

I lived alone for nearly three years. I loved it! I loved my space, decorating however I liked, coming home to quiet (heaven for an introvert), cooking whatever I pleased, and on and on. But, I guess I assumed, deep down, that it would be temporary. I didn’t know that for sure of course, but I knew that my intention was to meet someone and get partnered up one day. Perhaps that changed my idea then, of what living alone was really like?

I think what the author of the article neglected to talk about was that living alone (if done correctly) forces you to engage with the world outside your door in a more unique, meaningful and appreciative way that living with other people. When I lived alone, I treasured going outside and made a much bigger effort to see friends, go to activities and even just take small walks to the coffee shop.

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Imagine – this is all yours to decorate as you choose. Living alone can be like getting to fulfill all your pinterest board fantasies and needing no feedback from anyone else

Radical Self-Acceptance

February 1, 2015 By in Health and Wellness Tags: , , 3 Comments

Do you mentally beat yourself up? Maybe you tell yourself you’re not doing enough, not working enough, not being the best you that you can be. I do all of that. A lot. For a long time, I thought the only way to silence this voice in my head was to simply do more. Work harder, write more, exercise more, eat more vegetables, meditate more, and on and on…

But in the past year, I’ve been trying to work on the idea that everything I am right now is enough. Everything I need to be I already am.

I think the thirties is the decade where we do more of this work than ever before – this work of self-acceptance. You realize that you have to embrace and accept your own imperfections. Those negative voices that tell you, “You’re lazy! Be more productive!” and “You need to do more” and all of those voices, don’t serve you at all. You have to be kind to yourself. I wish I knew exactly how to do it, and sadly I really have no idea. But I do know that it begins with loving all the parts of yourself – the lazy parts, the sad parts, the goofy parts, all of them.

“Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart, is what I call Radical Acceptance. If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings of separation that sustain the trance of unworthiness. Radical Acceptance directly dismantles the very foundations of this trance.”
― Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Did You Get an “Hour” with People you Care About Today?

January 30, 2015 By in Friendships, Health and Wellness Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

As you might have learned from this blog, I love learning about ways to life-hack. Specifically, facts and numbers about how to make my life better. As you can probably guess, I’m subscribed to way too many blogs/newsletters/fan pages of self-help/life-coach gurus and thinkers. I recently got an email with a link to an article by Deepak Chopra titled “Social Media and Your Personal Growth.” The article is worth a read; it’s basically about how to form more meaningful and deep connections when using social media. I was particularly interested in this:

“Psychologists point out that being connected in a positive way for at least one hour a day with people you care about is one key to happiness.”

Do you normally get your hour of this time? I have recently. Today I did, at least. I had a great phone conversation and I felt happy and connected. This “hour” doesn’t have to be in person – you can spend your hour on the phone, or engaged in a video chat, or perhaps just even gchatting online.

It’s fascinating to me that we’re constantly told by doctors and the media that we should exercise a certain amount each day, and eat 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables a day…But no one talks about setting an exact parameter about social connectivity. So I’d like to propose – get your hour with a close friend(s) a day!

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Some Advice on Living Your 30s Well

January 27, 2015 By in Career, Family, Friendships, Grab Bag Tags: , 1 Comment

So true confession. I’m PMS’ing this week. Which for me means that I’m a bit cranky and craving salty foods. And also, those hormones knock my self-esteem down a notch and lead me into funny (in hindsight!), internet rabbit holes. I do random google searching about how I feel, with the goal normally being for me to feel like I’m not alone – that other folks feel the same way I do.

Tonight I googled “thirties and feel lost.” After reading Laura’s post from yesterday, I started thinking about how someone once told me that the chances of my career choice (screenwriting) being successful was like “winning the lotto.” Thinking back on that, what a crappy and mean thing to say! In my low moments, I wonder if he was right. What if I can never monetize my writing? I’ve managed to make money copywriting and writing for corporations but that’s not my goal – I want to write for films and TV. So anyway, I started to think worst-case scenario, what would I do to make money? And that’s when I googled “thirties and feel lost” and this particular Metafilter thread came up, What Do You Wish You Did in Your 30s.

In the thread, lots of 40 and 50-somethings wrote in about the regrets of their 30s. And it was somewhat uplifting. and inspiring, so I thought I’d share some of the thoughts here.

One woman wrote:

I would have divorced my first husband sooner, because I would have somehow woken up to how I was riding a wave of denial through my own life.

I would have spent way more time creating stuff (writing, acting, making art), because even if it had been shit, I’d have been that much more practiced now in my 40s.

I would have spent more time seeking out new and maintaining my existing female friendships (I’m a woman), because that kind of bond is crucial to my well being.

I would have spent those 10 years exercising, instead of taking up weightlifting at age 39 and finally honing and actually feeling my own strength.

I would have cut the few truly toxic people out of my life sooner, including my own mother.

Having said all this, I don’t have any regrets. I only look forward.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 2:22 PM on February 18, 2014 [8 favorites]

I liked this one a lot:

Choose the happier choice instead of the, seemingly, right choice.
posted by jennstra at 4:59 PM on February 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

Many people talked about saving money. I’m sure Laura would appreciate that 🙂

If you haven’t done it already, make sure you get on top of your retirement savings (getting any matching funds you’re entitled to in your 401k, maxing out a Roth IRA, etc). It’s hard to make up for the loss of compound interest the longer you wait to get your accounts in order.
posted by bcwinters at 1:54 PM on February 18, 2014 [9 favorites]

Do You Journal? The Surprising Health Benefits

January 24, 2015 By in Health and Wellness Tags: , 2 Comments

I’ll admit it – I always thought ‘journaling’ was kind of cheesy and ineffective. I imagined that if I did journal regularly, I’d have lots of entries beginning with “Dear Diary…” and going on to detail boring day-to-day exploits including the pizza I consumed and which Netflix show I watched that night.  I have journaled occasionally, and I have several books filled with my entries dating back to junior high school. Most of these entries are about boys – the boys I liked, the boys I dated and why those boys I dated were being so damn hard-to-decipher. Since I’ve been in a serious long-term relationship, I haven’t journaled as much. In fact, the current notebook I use has entries that date back to 2008, so clearly I haven’t been journaling much. But I do experience a lot of day-to-day anxiety about things in my life: my career, friendships, moving to a new city – all good subjects to journal about.

After reading this article, Writing Your Way to Happiness, in the NY Times, I really felt like it was time I journaled more. The article was the “most emailed article” on the NY Times website for about a week, so clearly people are excited about this research. Basically, the gist of the study is that if you write about your problems, you can more easily tackle them, which leads to better overall health. Essentially, the study is saying that if you write about your problems, you can more easily “edit” the problems in your life.

Here’s a quote from the article that encapsulates the study well:

Much of the work on expressive writing has been led by James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas. In one of his experiments, college students were asked to write for 15 minutes a day about an important personal issue or superficial topics. Afterward, the students who wrote about personal issues had fewer illnesses and visits to the student health center.

“The idea here is getting people to come to terms with who they are, where they want to go,” said Dr. Pennebaker. “I think of expressive writing as a life course correction.” – Tara Parker-Pope

Maybe there’s something about purging your thoughts onto paper that helps. Like a mental detox. Or maybe it’s being able to get a new perspective on your problems that helps you make more effective choices.

Did You Have a 30th Birthday Bucket List?

January 23, 2015 By in Grab Bag 4 Comments

Did you ever tell yourself, “By the time I turn thirty, I’m going to have _____” and fill in the blank? I didn’t officially make a list, but I do remember wanting to have had a “serious, healthy relationship” and “have a play reviewed in the NY Times” by the time I was thirty. So, one of those things happened. And it wasn’t the play being reviewed in the Times.

There seems to be this idea of accomplishing specific milestones by the time you’re thirty that’s echoed in the media. Check out the below two articles my friend recently sent me:

Things to Do Before You’re Thirty

30 Things Every Woman Needs to Get Out of Her System Before She Turns 30 

Considering I’m nearly three years out of turning 30, I guess I should think about my 40th year milestones. I want to have a child, own property, and have a solid writing career established. I’m trying to imagine my 40-year-old self reading this now, and it makes me smile.

Do you set big-birthday milestones for yourself? Want to share some here?