Friendship in Your 30s (And in a New City!)

I don’t know if it’s fair to say that Los Angeles is a new city for me, but it feels like one though I’ve moved here nearly three years ago. I like it a TON more than I did before, and I finally feel like I have a bit of a life groove going, so that is good. But I still don’t have many close friends here. I have a lot of social friends and acquaintances, but not many deep friendships. I do think that’s because deep friendships take time, but I also think being in my 30s and living in LA have affected it as well.

I wasn’t thinking too much about my friends here until I signed up to do more stand-up comedy shows. If you’re a new comic, you generally do either open mics or “bringer” shows. They are called “bringer” shows, because you have to bring 3-5 friends to come support you. Now this seems like a do-able task, because most people have 3 friends who would be down to come out to a show you’re performing in, right? Yes. But here’s the thing. When I had my stand-up debut, I invited everyone I knew in LA, and had a pretty nice turnout. But now, I’m going to be performing the SAME material for probably 6-7 minutes AND whoever comes is going to have to pay the cover fee plus a two drink minimum (comedy club standards).

But will acquaintances/new friends/colleagues come to see you perform more than one in a span of two weeks? As I’ve been pondering how to promote this show, it’s made me wish that I had deeper ties here so that I could have those friends to whom I could say (err…beg?) “Pleaaaaase come see my show! I need you here. And you know I’ve got your back for anything you need.”

I’ve been telling myself that it takes time to make deep roots. And sometimes, it’s okay to have acquaintances and early friendships. That’s exciting too, because you never know which one of those new friends will end up being one of your best friends in five years.

And for any readers in LA, come see my show this Thursday! I’ll buy ya a drink?

c word 8-18




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