The Beautiful Holidays of Your Thirties

December 24, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

No matter what holidays you celebrate, or where you are right now, I want to take a moment to wish you a happy holiday season and thank you for being here with us. Holidays have meant even more to me in my thirties than they ever have before, because I’m simply so appreciative of the time I get to spend with my friends and family and loved ones. I feel lucky that the holidays are a time when I get to come home, and when the ones I care about are home with me as well.

More than ever, I appreciate the time I have with people who matter to me, and I realize more and more that life is short but beautiful because of the amazing people in my life.

So for a moment let’s slow down the fast paced work clock that ticks constantly at our heels, and allow ourselves to enjoy what we know really matters. Have a wonderful season, enjoy what matters to you in your heart, and lets bring the holidays into our lives as much as we can all year round.

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Charity In Your Thirties

December 19, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Ten years ago, I saw a movie about Guantanamo Bay that completely incensed me. It was called “The Road To Guantanamo” and it was based on a true story about three Muslims from England who were captured by the US while on their way to wedding in Pakistan. They were mistaken for members of the Taliban and were sent to Guantanamo Bay and tortured for two years. Afterwards they were released without any charges. I was beside myself with outrage and disbelief during and after the film. How did this happen? How could we not know about this?

Then, after a few days, the movie faded from my consciousness. It was never completely gone, and although I still remember my response to it 10 years later, I also remember how helpless I felt to do anything against injustice like that. I told a few people about the movie, but that was it. I don’t even know if they watched it.

Right now, I’m having a similar devastated and equally unuseful feeling in my heart in response to what’s happening in Aleppo, Syria. Reading about children that are being ruthlessly shot on the streets, along with gunned down innocent men and women of all ages, while Syrian citizens reach out for help and to say goodbye on social media channels is horrific to the point that it doesn’t feel real.

The sad truth about what’s happening in Syria is that it’s awful on such a tremendous level that it’s hard to grasp. In Western Aleppo, 70 percent of buildings have been destroyed. Social media messages are going out stating truths that are too horrifying to fathom.

“Abdulla Saleem, 39, a doctor who is living in the bombed out remains of a building, said via WhatsApp, “They are killing everyone. … My friends are doctors, who were providing the only possible medical care to the injured. Now they are butchered. Everyone is dying. I will soon die, too.”

“Where are our supporters?” asked Radhwan Salem, 60. “Believers in humanity, I don’t understand how can the entire world watch this and do nothing. Oh, God, help us.”

As part of the world that is watching, what can I do? What can we do? I received an email recently from Marie Forleo about how horrified she and many other bloggers, authors, and activists including Glennon Doyle Melton, Elizabeth Gilbert, Cheryl Strayed, Brene Brown, Rob Bell and more are feeling about the atrocities in Aleppo. She mentioned how she and they had joined forces with a group called The Compassion Collective. The group has a specific action plan in place to help the citizens in Aleppo:

  • We’re going to purchase and fully equip two ambulances with medicine and medical supplies for 6 months, and enable The White Helmets– 100% VOLUNTEERS- to rescue children and vulnerable people trapped in the rubble;

  • We’ll equip the mobile hospital — which is arriving in Aleppo on Christmas Day — with medicine and supplies for serving the injured;

  • We’re going to help Independent Doctor’s Association fund the planning of the first pediatric hospital in the region; and

  • We’re going to continue to fund the work of the Help Refugees volunteer network devoted to delivering people to safety.

I immediately donated what little I could to the Compassion Collective’s cause, and I shared the information I received from Marie on my Facebook. Hopefully this blogpost will inform you guys about some ways that you can help aid efforts in Aleppo. Don’t feel useless, and don’t think you can’t do anything. Even if you can’t donate any money, which I absolutely understand, simply sharing information  on your social media networks about the Compassion Collective or The White Helmets is helpful. Here are some tweets that are being shared- feel free to copy and repost:

If we’re truly committed to a more loving and just world, we must ACT. http://bit.ly/2hCoOiz @MarieForleo @GilbertLiz @Momastery #Aleppo

 The healing of the world is in our hands. http://bit.ly/2hCoOiz @MarieForleo @GilbertLiz @Momastery @CherylStrayed @BreneBrown #Aleppo

You can also share this article about what anyone can do to help in Syria no matter where they live: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-help-aleppo-syria-what-charities-to-donate-to-2016-12/#contact-your-lawmakers-4

And if you’d like to donate to the Compassion Collective you can Donate directly using this link. 100% of funds received will go directly to aid in Aleppo.

Thanks so much for reading and for being caring and compassionate.

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Syria in 2010

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Syria now

The Feeling of Being In Your Body In Your Thirties

December 14, 2016 By in Grab Bag, Health and Wellness Tags: , , , , , , 4 Comments

Maybe it’s the meditation. I’ve been practicing for almost two years now so perhaps changes are happening that I don’t even realize. But sometimes, suddenly, in the middle of the day, or late at night, I’m suddenly very aware of the way I’m holding my stomach. My breathe is so shallow it barely reaches below my shoulders, and I’m walking around with an extreme amount of tension. And sometimes, suddenly, I let it all out. Do you ever feel like that?

Do you ever feel, suddenly, amazed to be in your body? I feel like this especially after recovering from being ill or from being hurt in some way- that’s the easiest time to feel it. If you’ve ever had a headache for forever, you might know the grateful feeling after the pain is gone. If you’ve twisted an ankle, or injured your knee, the sudden happiness that comes over you when you start to walk and feel better can be akin to nirvana.

But sometimes I feel this way randomly, without warning. I feel the walls of my apartment- bumpy on my fingertips, the wood floor underneath my feet-cold and indented.  Sometimes when I’m outside I feel a nervous pang as I let my stomach go, realizing I’ve been holding it in for awhile. And then I feel my breathe rush deeply into my entire ribcage.

It’s kind of fascinating and strangely new to feel my body, even though it’s always been there. I’ve already had 32 years with my warm shoulders, my darting eyes, my bony feet. Yet it’s taken this long to scratch the surface of unfurling my numb senses and letting myself be.

Does any of this sound familiar to you guys? Do you also feel you’ve just scratched the surface of “being aware of what your body feels like” or does that not sound familiar? Are these sensations important to you? Have you been working on becoming aware of how you feel in the moment? It’s one of those things that was never a priority for me before, so I’m wondering how others feel about it. Do you feel like awareness is something that’s come to the surface more in your thirties? I definitely do…I wonder if it’s because in our twenties we’re way more consumed outward appearances to others and not nearly as concerned with how we feel within ourselves…

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Unpacking After a Trip In Your Thirties

December 8, 2016 By in Career, Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I just red eyed home after a thirty day work stint in New Orleans, LA, and San Francisco. I feel like the great warm state of California and the incredible city of New Orleans should have left me feeling refreshed but instead I feel in need of a break. A home break, not a travel break.

When I get back to New York after a work trip, I always feel excited and relieved. But I feel especially excited and relieved during the holidays, in December, when my little studio apartment feels like a box of love and light.

This morning, my body kind of ached to stay in my apartment and do nothing. The want was strong for money to just flow to me so I don’t need to travel for it anymore. My unpacked suitcase looked so neat in the corner of my home- I usually unpack right away, but this time I left my bag and slept.

I lit a candle tonight as I unpacked. I removed my items slowly and mechanically from their balled up state. I moved slowly through the evening, my body heavy. I wasted a lot of time attempting to bake a lone sweet potato that didn’t cook through. So I made a mess of things attempting to mash it. This sums up my time in my little bachelorette apartment. The remains of my laundry stayed on the floor as I shoveled sweet potato in my mouth and rushed out the door to see a play.

The evening is cold and bright. Holiday lights sparkle on balconies. My winter boots and puffy jacket are wrinkled from summer storage but they’re so warm and feel so good. I wonder where I put my winter hats.

There’s a lot to do and I need a break. There’s a lot of work ahead. Some good work. And a lot of people ahead. All good. A lot of holidays ahead. And I feel relieved. I feel overwhelmed. I feel dazzled. I feel distinctly New York.

And I have unpacked. I am home. This is what melancholy is to me. And I’m filled with surrender. Im filled with joy.

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What Type of Friend-Maker Are You?

November 30, 2016 By in Friendships 1 Comment

A few days ago, I read this fascinating article: An Ivy League Professor Says There Are Only Three Types of Friendships We Make.

Basically, the results of the study they conducted deduced that we all structure our social connections in one of three ways. We are either:

Tight-Knitters – You have one close group of friends, who all know each other.

Compartmentalizers – You have different groups of friends, who help you with different needs (like work related advice or gossip seshs about dating).

OR

Samplers – You tend to have one-on-one friendships, rather than a group of friends.

I’m definitely a sampler. But I hate that name! It makes it seem like I’m testing out different types of people or ordering a sampler tapas place at a Spanish restaurant.

The truth is, I just like to have depth of connection and I find that in one-on-one interactions. The article mentions that samplers can feel socially isolated at points, and I absolutely have felt that. It’s hard to feel like your friends don’t know each other and there’s also such a great sense of community in a group of friends. I remember watching the TV show “How I Met Your Mother” and feeling down that I didn’t have a group like there.

So. Which type of friend maker are you?

Aceso Calm Supplement Review (A relaxing hemp drink)

November 15, 2016 By in Health and Wellness Tags: , , Leave a comment

When I come home from work, it’s hard to relax. And not because work is particularly stressful, because it’s not. At all. I research media information and then enter that data into an online database. I’m lucky my job isn’t stressful. Because it gives me time/mental space to write. Here’s the thing though. I’m stressed after work – because I know I should be working on my writing. But I also want a social life and I need to take care of life things – groceries, cleaning, etc. So it’s this mental debate between what I should do and what I want to do and I don’t know where to begin. I feel restless. Can anyone relate to that feeling?

So, I’m always looking for new ways to relax. And about two months ago, I stumbled upon a review for a product called Aceso Calm, a non-sedative relaxation formula made out of hemp and their naturally occurring constituents, cannabinoids. Aceso Calm comes in two forms – powder packets or spray for your mouth. While you may hear the word ‘cannabinoids’ and think illegal, this is a completely natural and legal product.

I knew I’d have to try it, considering my main forms of relaxation are the limited wine and TV (ha!). I thought I should expand my repertoire in a natural way. I don’t smoke pot, but I liked the idea of a legal supplement that could potentially relax me. I emailed the kind folks at Aceso and asked for a sample to review for our site. So read on for my review!

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The Verdict:

So, after a long plane ride and being stressed about the upcoming holidays, I decided to try one of my powder packet samples. And if you’ve ever taken those Emergen-C things when you feel a cold coming on, these packets are kinda like that. You put one into 4-6 oz of water and let the yellow powder dissolve. It’s $10 for a pack of 5.

It tastes a little like lavender, so that was nice. It didn’t taste overly sugary or sweet, so that was also good. I drank a cup of the supplement and waited. After about a half hour or so, I felt a little more relaxed. I didn’t feel super blissed out or anything. But I did feel subtly and gently relaxed. While I expected a more intense feeling, this was still nice. Aceso also makes a spray, so I wondered if perhaps that form is more potent.

After getting some answers about the product from the hemp product manager at Aceso, Kurt Forstmann, the gentle effects I experienced made more sense. Here’s what Kurt wrote:

How does the spray differ from the packets that you put in water? Is one product stronger than the other?

The spray is generally stronger, containing 7.5mg of active cannabinoids versus the powder which contains 5.0mg of active cannabinoids. Also, as discussed before, the route of administration also dictates outcome. Since the spray is absorbed in the oral mucosa (under the tongue) it penetrates the brain-blood barrier rapidly and has a fast acting effect. While the powder is ingested into the GI which takes time before cells absorb the active and customers begin to notice an outcome.

How would you recommend someone use the Aceso Calm product? As needed or more on a daily basis like a vitamin?

It can be used both ways. Our sprays, since they’re applied like a homeopathic tincture (under the tongue, let sit for 90 seconds, then swallow) are good for “knock down” use or as-needed, such as when you need to calm down, ie stress attack, sleep issues, etc…  Our powders are designed more as a daily use regimen, as the route of absorption is thru the GI and it takes longer for the actives to become absorbed by the body and take effect. However, we have heard of customers that experience an immediate outcome when using the powder.

Would I use it again? I think I would use the spray but I probably wouldn’t buy the powder, because I’d like a stronger effect quicker.

Check out all of Aceso’s products here.

That Funny Horrible Feeling In Your Thirties

November 11, 2016 By in Grab Bag, Health and Wellness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I know I’m not supposed to write this- I’ve been on an extreme fast from negative information that’ll get me down lately. The negativity has been hard to avoid, but I’ve fastidiously stayed away from news sources and Facebook for the last 3 days. So I don’t really want to contribute to the negative information. I don’t really want to rant here. And I definitely don’t want to fight with anyone. But I’m writing. Something about it.

The other night was awful. Tuesday night. November 8th. It was a shocker that filled me with dread and terror. And disbelief. It’s hard to forget that moment of total disbelief.  I couldn’t really sleep Wednesday night, even though I went through my stages of grief during the day- anger, denial, bargaining, acceptance?- and felt on and off better and talked to good people and went for a nice run and meditated for a lot of the day and listened to some of my favorite positive sources like Esther Hicks talks. I read wonderful, helpful articles like It’s Going To Be Okay by Tim Urban of Wait But Why. I attempted to understand the almost 50 percent of Americans who don’t see things the way I do- well, don’t see this outcome the way I do. In reality, there are definitely way more than 50 percent of Americans who don’t see things the way I do. But I’d always felt like that was okay because it didn’t affect me. This does.

What can I do? I don’t know exactly. I attempt even harder to have compassion for everyone. To find anything I can that is good. I continue to seek goodness where it may be- which I know, deep down, is all over. And to do this, right now I know I must stay centered. Even if I have to close my eyes to do so. Right now, anyway.

I read an article once by Danielle LaPorte, where she was writing about how she went to India to meet the Dalai Lama. Right before she got some monks were brutally murdered…by other monks. It was just an awful tragedy- horrible. She was shaken by it and offered the Dalai Lama her condolences when she got there. What she wrote about his reply and how she felt about it still sticks with me. I think of it now:

“Ah, yes, thank you for your thoughts,” he said. “This is why we practice, for times like these when compassion is so necessary.” He didn’t nod in mutual disdain. He didn’t show any drama. He was soft and…practical.

This is why we practice.

For times like these.

You don’t need to forgive until you need to forgive. You don’t need nerves of steel until you need nerves of steel. You don’t need to call on your reserves of compassion, or fortitude, or faith until you’ve used up everything else.

When we’re healthy and happy we make sure to dance, we hit the court, we pick up the phone to check in, we drop by with something in hand…

We keep standing up to make our art even when we could be predictable pedestrians.

Because the day will most certainly come…that you will be struck down or ground down by life. It can come in tiny tearing heartbreaks five times a day, just walking through your neighborhood. It could come in the name of tragedy that could only happen once in a lifetime.

And you will need to withdraw the insights that you put into your heart’s escrow. And you will need to call on your people— the unseen and the ones right in front of you — to help you meet the day.

You will be interrupted.

You will be called on to expand. 

You will be asked who you are and why you are here.”

So I look for the insights in my hearts escrow. I continue to search for answers. I continue to not know. I continue to hold compassion. And, every day, I continue to practice.

 

 

Are You Working In A ‘Shadow Career’?

November 7, 2016 By in Career Tags: , , Leave a comment

Have you heard the term ‘shadow career’? I hadn’t until I started reading Ed Pressfield’s book “Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Create Your Life’s Work.” This is how Pressfield explains the idea of a shadow career:

“Sometimes when we’re terrified of embracing our true calling, we’ll pursue a shadow career instead. That shadow career is a metaphor for our real career. It’s shape is similar, it’s contours feel tantalizingly the same. But a shadow career entails no real risk. If we fail at a shadow career, the consequences are meaningless to us”

So I guess a few examples would be:

  • someone who wants to write movies, but instead pursues development of other people’s work
  • someone who wants to run for office and instead is a campaign manager for someone else’s political career

Pressfield says that if you’re in a shadow career, you’re hiding from yourself and can’t fully actualize or be fulfilled. If you have a passion or project you keep denying from yourself because you’re working for a job that eats up all of your time, you’re probably in a shadow career.

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I like this idea of ‘shadow careers’ but I think there’s a fine line between a ‘shadow career’ and a ‘day job’ to pay the rent. I work in the entertainment industry when I know I want to write for TV and film, but I can’t just quit and write all day. Or, is that just what I tell myself to avoid putting in eight hours of writing work? Pressfield might suggest I work for one year, scrimp and save and then take 6 months off to solely write all day. That’s similar to what he did – and how he “turned pro.”A film professor of mine in graduate school gave me similar advice. He said to take a day job and try and write on nights and weekends, but if after 2 years, I hadn’t made significant progress in my writing, I should quit and just focus on writing. But uh…that still doesn’t address the money/how to live issue.

It’s an interesting book. I was originally turned onto Pressfield’s work by fellow writers who love his motivational book “The War of Art.” It’s all about pushing through the resistance of creation to actually get work complete. It’s a pretty fantastic book, and very inspiring to those of us who need a kick in the butt to get writing done. Or anything, really.

So, do you think you could be stuck in a shadow career?

How to Find the Right Temperature In Your Thirties

November 2, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

New Orleans always finds me in deep thought. I’ve written about this place before. There’s just something about this city that puts me in a deep space of introspection and rawness. Perhaps it’s the old south feel of the city, or the voodoo that’s still practiced as a religion here and there and around the corners of Louisiana. It could be the fact that New Orleans feels full of history and dancing, boozy ghosts (or at least I always like to think of them as dancing and boozy because scary ghosts scare me and are not invited into my space or my blog.)

I was in the shower tonight after a day of work in New Orleans and the water turned freezing cold. Then I turned the nozzle completely the other direction and the water got hot for a second and then cold again. Then I turned the nozzle up north and everything got colder but then burning. I looked closer through my contact lens-less vision at the nozzle and realized that the hot and cold signs were broken and spinning- or actually, they were on a spinning circle that wasn’t stuck to the wall. So knowing which direction was hot and which way was cold was a matter of feeling things out. And to make matters harder, the nozzle would spin infinitely in both directions, turning the water off and then on again without hitting any kind of foreseeable end point.

Eventually I let the nozzle go at the burning hot temperature I liked, and kept things that way, but I started wondering about all of us finding the temperatures we like in life. Perhaps we’ll  be told what direction to go, and try to follow that, but it won’t feel right. Eventually, looking closer through blurry vision, we can realize that something is off. Then we might follow an opposite directional indicator and just as soon realize that way is broken too. We may give up at this point, but if we just feel things out a little more, we might be close to finding what works for us…without shutting the whole thing down.Or, even more amazingly, we’ll continue beyond shutting it all down.

Because if you try long enough, you’ll shut things all down and turn them back on again numerous times before you get to where you want to be.

Just some deep Louisiana thought for the night. Hope it helps you keep on feeling things out.

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How Do You Celebrate Halloween in Your Thirties?

October 31, 2016 By in Grab Bag Leave a comment

I don’t really celebrate Halloween much. When I was a kid I liked it a lot- I think it was my favorite holiday, mainly because it was cool. I liked the idea of dark things- they seemed risky and more fun. But I think I stopped celebrating Halloween as I got older because it seemed like a hassle- and too expensive to get things together for a costume.

So this morning I didn’t really think about Halloween much- I didn’t have any parties to go to and I  hadn’t dressed up all weekend. So I felt like I couldn’t claim this holiday as “mine” and in fact, forgot about it to such an extent that I was surprised by some “Happy Halloween!!!” texts this morning.

But then I went for a run. And all throughout my little Queens neighborhood, celebratory decorations were around.

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There was a witch that welcomed werewolves and a werewolf that was waiting for waxing.

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A couple that got old together. Very old.

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Not creepy at all.

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Some creatures were more friendly looking.

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Others made me want to stay far away, lest I get trapped.

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Some you could “like” on Facebook. Do it! I dare you.

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Some couldn’t wait to massage your aching bones…

  1. img_4754img_4747And then there were movie references. And much more.

As I stopped to take photos, proud house decorators waved at me. I watched trick or treaters go by. I laughed and felt connected and proud of my neighborhood for putting on such a good show. Halloween had become mine again, if just for a day.

Happy Halloween!!

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Will Male Birth Control Become a Thing In Your Thirties?

October 29, 2016 By in children, Family, Health and Wellness, Relationships Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Let’s face it- the thirties are a time when we think about babies. If you haven’t had babies yet and want some, you might be thinking, ‘hmm, how old is too old to have babies?’ or ‘when can we get started?’ or ‘when will I find someone to get started with me?’ If you don’t want babies, you may be thinking, ‘wow, all my friends are having babies- how do I hide everyone I know on Facebook?’ or ‘what would happen if I accidentally had a baby? Would it ruin me financially?’ or ‘what’s the best way to stop from ever possibly having a baby? (Besides abstinence, duh).’

Whether you’re female or male, and whether you want kids or not, babies seem to pop up all around you during your thirties. I bet you have at least one friend who recently had a baby and at least 5 Facebook friends who are posting pictures of their little ones right now (I probably have at least 30 proud new parent Facebook friends…and no, I don’t mind. If any of you are reading this, I like it, seriously, post away).

If you’re female and don’t want to have kids- at least at the moment, there are many types of birth control options, including a pill that you annoyingly have to remember to take at the same time every day. This pill, a popular form of birth control, puts the responsibility of avoiding pregnancy squarely on the woman. The same can be said of BC options such as IUDs and Nuvarings, and patches and the like. But soon there might be another option.

I was reading an article just yesterday about a male birth control study done with human males (as opposed to mice males in the past), that used a new form of male birth control in the form of an injection. The injection was given to the males at set 8 week intervals for a certain amount of time, and after a few months, couples relied solely on the injections for birth control. The subjects were followed for about a year, and in that time about 2 in 100 women got pregnant. With regular, correct and careful use of condoms, about 3-5 out of 100 women will get pregnant, so the male birth control injections in this study have proven to be more effective birth control than condoms.

The problems the researchers are still dealing with are the side effects of the injections- some males complained of acne and mild depression…although female birth control methods like the pill can also have side effects- including crazy mood swings and weight gain- and those are out on the market anyway! 75% of the males in the study said they’d continue to use the method despite the side effects, so that’s promising, at least. And it’s nice to know the guys are into it.

As of now, there are bound to be many more studies before this form of male birth control will actually be out and useable. So maybe we won’t all still be in our thirties by then. But technology moves fast and I’m optimistic- so who knows?

If you’re a male reading this, would you take male birth control? Why or why not? If you’re female, do you feel like the burden of birth control rests too squarely on the woman? Or are you perfectly happy to be in charge of birth control?

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How Do I Get Renters Insurance For My Apartment in my Thirties?

October 24, 2016 By in Grab Bag, Health and Wellness, Money Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Today I stared at a to do list item that has been on my list for many years, but has never before been checked off. That item is: Get Renters Insurance. And believe it or not, you guys, after all these years, I am now the proud owner of a year-long renters insurance policy!

Here’s why this achievement is important to me: this is the first time I’ve had a full apartment to call my own. I now live in a studio in queens. It’s nothing fancy, but I’m super happy with it and I love it very much. If something were to happen to it such as a fire or burglary, I’d be extremely upset. But I’d be even more upset if I then went into crazy bankrupting debt re-buying all my possessions, such as my bed and my couch and my desk and my computer and my clothing. I have more stuff than I think I have- a lesson I always learn again each time I move.

Getting renters insurance was both easier and harder than I thought. The hard part was that I had no idea where to start. I didn’t have a clue what company to go with, or even what companies were out there. I had no idea how much I should be paying per month nor how much I should be insured for nor what my deductible should be.

So I did what I always do when I’m not sure which direction to go: I googled. At first I just googled ‘get renters insurance’ but I just came up with a list of insurance companies touting how great they are, so I moved on to adding my favorite (mostly financial) bloggers to the keywords to see if they had any articles on the best of renters insurance, such as ‘best renters insurance ramit sethi’ or best renters insurance paula pant.’ Finally I tried ‘best renters insurance NYC’ and that brought up some good articles from websites I knew such as The Simple Dollar and Nerdwallet.

From these articles I got an idea of how much renters insurance should cost a month – IT’S USUALLY ONLY $12-$15 DOLLARS A MONTH! Not bad at all 

I also got an idea of about how much I should be insured for – around $25,000. That may sound high, but when you tally everything you own (bed, couch, desk, dresser, other furniture, tv, kitchen items, clothing, electronics, etc) plus possible cost of moving (yep, there’s all types of insurance and some even cover temporary stays if something happens to your permanent home), $25,000 is the recommended amount on average.

Then I got an idea of how high my deducible should be to keep my premiums low- the recommended amount is $500-$1000. I picked $1000.

Then I found a few websites that listed the best companies of 2016 for renters insurance- they all recommended different ones, but I looked up the companies that kept repeating on various websites: Allstate, State Farm, and Nationwide. I also checked Gotham Brokerage, specific to NYC.

Then I went to all four of those companies’ websites, and got quotes from all of them. I ultimately picked State Farm, which gives me the most coverage with the lowest premium, and I paid for it then and there- a grand total of $11 a month for $25,000 worth of coverage. This is not an advertisement for state farm though, or any of the above companies- I think rates and coverage are different for everybody.

But a major item on my to do list that has hung over my head for years was accomplished in about 40 minutes, including all the research and quotes and payment. Now imagine if I’d put renters insurance off longer and something had happened? I would’ve been pretty angry at myself.

So if you’re putting off getting renters insurance, I’d highly recommend going for it! It won’t take long and it’s cheap and will put your mind at ease. Here are some sites to get you started:

http://www.reviews.com/homeowners-insurance/renters/

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/best-renters-insurance/

https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/insurance/find-best-renters-insurance/

http://www.toptenreviews.com/services/insurance/best-renters-insurance/

https://www.creditsesame.com/blog/insurance/best-renters-insurance/

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New Hobbies in Your 30s

October 19, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , 3 Comments

When was the last time you took up a new hobby?

When people ask me what my ‘hobbies’ are – which is rare and mainly occurs on job interviews or awkward first dates – I usually have to pause and think. Does drinking wine and watching TV shows on Netflix count? Probably not. How about hanging out with friends? Nah, cause hobbies seem to imply having a skill. Does writing count? I would say no, because it’s not so much a ‘hobby’ as it is my primary career goal. So, I guess I don’t really have a ton of hobbies aside from reading. But I may have a new one…

Today my co-workers and I went to the craft store, Michael’s to pick up Halloween decorations for the office. We walked past the aisles of yarn and I was seduced by the colorful wool and cotton piles. I stopped and ran my hands over a container of thick teal colored yarn, and I knew I had to learn. I love chunky knits and I felt like this could make the perfect scarf or small cuddling blanket. Luckily, one of my co-workers is an experienced knitter so she promised to show me the basics.

When we got back to the office, she showed how to do a basic stitch, but it was hard! So it might be a little bit until I get the hang of this and can make something that vaguely resembles something. Guess that’s why it’s a hobby. It takes time to develop a skill.

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How do I Overcome Writer’s Block?

October 18, 2016 By in Career, Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I was just listening to an amazing interview with the incredible Seth Godin on Marie Forleo’s Marie TV show on her website. Seth Godin is one of my absolute favorite bloggers for a very particular reason: he blogs every day and even when his blogs are one sentence long he almost always has something thought-provoking to say.

Hearing Seth talk in this interview was quite amazing, as he went more in depth on his philosophies on life and blogging than I’d heard before- or maybe I’d seen him write these things before, but it always helps me to hear brilliant people share insights once again, especially in a different format.

One of the things Seth said that stuck out at me was his solution to writer’s block. Marie asked him how he blogs every day without running out of topics and thoughts to write about and he said that he writes how he talks, and that works because no one ever gets talkers block.

Interesting! I guess it’s true that -unless you’re feeling social phobia when you’re talking in public- you don’t really get talkers block. If you were talking to your best friend, you probably wouldn’t get talker’s block. I definitely love the way writers sound when they write the way they talk- there’s an honesty and a rawness to that kind of writing that makers me feel closer to the author.

Here’s a link to the absolutely brilliant interview, filled with many words of wisdom including Seth’s advice about how finding your ‘true calling’ is ultimately bullshit, and how you shouldn’t wait around. I’m actually going to listen to the interview again tomorrow and take notes.

Hope you enjoy!

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Some Awesome New Finance Experts I’ve Been Following

October 11, 2016 By in Money Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

After Suze Orman ended her amazing finance show (which I always listened to as a podcast) about a year and a half ago, I realized that almost everything I knew about finance I’d learned from Suze Orman. And I didn’t know what to do without her.

I still had Dave Ramsey’s podcast, which always amused and humbled me (he sometimes speaks to really down and out (aka completely broke) people who call in…and he always has pretty sound advice, even when I don’t consistently completely agree with him (he can get very religious). However, one of his best quotes is “you can’t fix stupid,” which I absolutely agree with). Another podcast I listened to was (and is) NPR’s Planet Money– which is a great podcast about money topics- but is more an exploration of economics in our lives than a ‘money advice’ show the way Suze Orman’s was.

In the past few months I’ve discovered some cool new finance advice podcasts (as well as bloggers…many of the podcasts are from bloggers that have decided to start podcasts). Nothing replaces Suze Orman, who had a distinct voice, but a lot of these are very good. If anyone wants some good and relatable finance podcasts and blogs for complete novices, here are some awesome recommendations:

http://www.budgetsaresexy.com –  J.Money’s refreshingly honest and totally down to earth financial blog. I’ve never read a finance blog that’s as open and genuine- J. Money tracks every dollars he has and he will give you exact numbers including his net worth, his retirement savings, his mortgage paid, and much more. He writes articles with titles like ‘What I’d Like to Teach My Dumb-Ass Tenants About Money.’ This blog is fantastic for anyone who doesn’t come from a finance background and just wants to understand all the basics a more, from someone who’s ‘just like you.’

http://affordanything.com/  – The Afford Anything podcast (which used to be called the Money Podcast) got me turned on to budgetsaresexy.com because J.Money (of budgetsaresexy) used to be the co-podcaster. However, he has since left the podcast, and his co-podcaster Paula Pant has renamed the show after her website: affordanything.com. Both the podcast and the website are really inspiring and useful – Paula Pant is in her early thirties and is completely financially independent and never really has to work again. She still works, though, and explains why in both her podcast and on the blog. Listen to the podcast from the beginning to listen to her and J.Money co-host together. They’re a great pair. Paula talks a lot about real estate and has made her fortune from it, so if that interests you, this is an extra good one (but it’s a good podcast even if you’re not into real estate- I’m not.)

Optimal Finance Daily – This is a cool podcast because each episode is a part of a different well known finance blogger’s blog- read aloud by the podcaster Dan Warren. It’s a great way to get familiar with lots of different finance bloggers – plus each episode is only around 8 minutes- so super easy to listen to!

So Money with Farnoosh Torabi – Farnoosh’s podcast is superbly edited and makes the listener feel taken care of (the way Suze Orman’s show always was). Farnoosh’s podcast is great to listen to because she’s a money expert interviewing other money experts! Super clear financial advice, and a very inspiring show as well.

Hope you enjoy some of these. As always, let me know what you think!

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Friendships Between Thirtysomething Women Are Pearls

October 6, 2016 By in Friendships Tags: Leave a comment

One of my favorite places to spend time on the internet is Salon.com. They offer high-quality journalism in a world where there’s a lot of SEO click bait type articles and listicles of no real value.  Yesterday on Salon.com, I found this gem of an article written by Emily J. Smith: Breaking up with my type: How I learned to stop worrying and let myself loathe the men I once desired.

Emily talks about how she used to be attracted to hipster man-children with beards and skinny jeans who were self-centered and only interested in their own stories and lives. I’ve been there, so I could relate.

But what I loved most about the article was this part, about her friendships with 30-something females. She calls them treasures – pearls. I couldn’t agree more.

Here’s what Emily J. Smith wrote about that:

It was then, when I gave up on men completely, that I discovered the treasure — the pearls — that are 30-something female friendships. Around 30, I realized, was when single women got better and single men got worse. It’s the age when women have internalized and learned to deal with the injustice that comes with their gender; they get stronger and give fewer shits. Men, on the other hand, learn that their wrinkles are by some weird miracle considered attractive, as are their dad-like bodies, and that essentially the limits of time as we know it do not apply to them. They get spoiled.

My relationships with women were like a whole other species compared with my romantic flings. We traded honest stories of struggle. We empathized with years of pushing ourselves to be more aggressive with the men we worked with and more chill with the men we slept with. We’d learned to manipulate and contort our feelings so many times we were lion tamers of emotion. When we finished a bag of Kettle Chips in one sitting we reminded one another that we deserved it. We shared tips on body-hair removal and fears of infertility. I learned what real conversation felt like. We asked questions, admitted flaws; we listened to one another and let ourselves be vulnerable.

Beautiful. And don’t forget that the culturing process of a pearl usually takes several years.