Today I fainted on the subway platform. This isn’t like me at all.

I pride myself on having an “immune system of steel.” I have an uncanny ability to always stay well around sick people. I’m the anti-germaphobe- “a little dirt never hurt anyone”- that’s what I say. I travel on planes, trains, and buses (aka “boxes of germs”) more than half the year while getting away with barely a sniffle. I scoff at Purell. I roll my eyes at hypochondriacs (secretly).

However, today something happened and I went down. I started feeling weak when I left my apartment earlier in the day. It was a strange feeling because I’d had two cups of coffee before I left and had slept a full 8 hours the night before. I’d drank my green smoothie in the morning. I’d eaten a vegan burrito for lunch. I was doing all my healthy routines.

But the weakness came anyway. And then it went away just as quickly as it came and fooled me into thinking it was gone. So I continued my day. I met with a friend. I went to Whole Foods. I headed to the gym. But once the subway doors closed behind me, I was taken by the urge to fall to the floor. It was a crowded subway on a freezing day but I got hotter and hotter until I had to remove my hat and my scarf and unzip my coat. I barely made it to my stop. Strangers asked me if I was okay- I was swaying. I didn’t look good. I politely said I was fine, just not feeling so well. But once I got to my stop and took two steps, I realized I couldn’t go any further and fell hard. A stranger rushed up to me and asked if I was okay. He asked if I was pregnant (I am not). He offered to call 911. I couldn’t move, but I felt really embarrassed. Even though I stayed unmoving, I told him I’d be okay. I didn’t want to go anywhere but home. He nicely stayed with me. Bless the kindness of random subway strangers.

Once again, the weakness started to pass. The icy air shook my limbs out of their paralyzed state and I was able to get up and actually walk home. I’m now lying in bed writing this and praying I don’t have the flu. I feel okay right now. I’m hoping it’s maybe an iron deficiency or something. Who knows.

But you better believe I’m taking extra good care of myself. I canceled my trip to the gym. I canceled my fun late night plans. I made myself ginger tea. I took my emergency multivitamins (which I never take). My roommate gave me a shot of apple cider vinegar (“it cures!” she raved to me). I’m trying to stay calm. I had the flu once 6 years ago and it was the worst debilitating illness I’ve ever been through.

A friend of mine told me on the phone tonight, “I hate to say it, but we’re in our thirties now. Even though we may feel good and strong, our bodies are changing and they’re not the same as they were in our twenties. And we have to take extra good care of ourselves. I mean, listen, I just had to get reading glasses. And I’m only 33!”

Oh no! I don’t yet need reading glasses, it’s enough that I need regular glasses…eek.

This got me thinking about the possible shift from your twenties to your thirties regarding how you need to take care of yourself. Perhaps the metaphorical ‘party’ is over? Is there an ‘invincibility notion’ left over from the twenties that needs to fade down in my thirties? I mean, I already take pretty good care of myself (lots of vegetables, lots of exercise, lots of sleep (usually), lots of water) but perhaps there are still big changes coming my way. Changes that I previously thought I could avoid with my healthy behavior.

Maybe I’m not as invincible to the 30’s as I thought, no matter how healthy my lifestyle usually is.

Well, I better go to sleep and dream about strength and energy.

I want to leave you with two articles I found about how our bodies change in our 30s. Haha, first  puberty, now this…

For women- http://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/health-your-30s

For men- http://www.askmen.com/top_10/fitness/maintain-your-body-after-30.html

[Update- I wrote this article yesterday, and still feel weak today, but have not come down with the flu. Behold the power of taking care of yourself: tons of sleep, ginger tea, apple cider vinegar, and lots of love from (and to) friends and family!]

Did you ever tell yourself, “By the time I turn thirty, I’m going to have _____” and fill in the blank? I didn’t officially make a list, but I do remember wanting to have had a “serious, healthy relationship” and “have a play reviewed in the NY Times” by the time I was thirty. So, one of those things happened. And it wasn’t the play being reviewed in the Times.

There seems to be this idea of accomplishing specific milestones by the time you’re thirty that’s echoed in the media. Check out the below two articles my friend recently sent me:

Things to Do Before You’re Thirty

30 Things Every Woman Needs to Get Out of Her System Before She Turns 30 

Considering I’m nearly three years out of turning 30, I guess I should think about my 40th year milestones. I want to have a child, own property, and have a solid writing career established. I’m trying to imagine my 40-year-old self reading this now, and it makes me smile.

Do you set big-birthday milestones for yourself? Want to share some here?

I spent some of my Saturday night at the coin laundromat two miles from my apartment. I actually find doing laundry to be relaxing, but not when I have to travel a long distance with heavy bags to get to the laundromat. Like tonight. Also, when you’re doing laundry alongside clearly high, strung-out homeless folks, it can be a bit depressing…especially on a Saturday night.

I kept thinking, “Oy! Why didn’t I use just that coupon Washio sent me for $10 off my first order?” Have you heard about Washio? It’s a start-up for laundry. They literally come to your apartment/house, pick-up your laundry and return it in 24 hours. On top of that, they bring you a HOT cookie. And here’s the thing – it’s not that much more expensive that laundry drop-off places. It’s $1.60 a pound for laundry. Many drop off places near me are $1.50. But Washio pick-ups and delivers! To me, $1.60 a pound seems worth it.

I haven’t tried Washio yet, because as a grad student, I can’t yet justify the expense, but I love the idea of it. More and more though, I’ve been contemplating paying the money for the service. I can spend more time writing, more time reading and investing in my education.

I started to think about all these other cool services available in our saturated start-up world. There’s Blue Apron, which brings the ingredients for planned meals to you. Then, there’s a service that picks you up at home and brings you to the gym or your SoulCycle or Pilates class. For more on that crazy trend, check out this NY Times article, “For The Door to Treadmill Service.”

If I had unlimited financial resources, I might take advantage of more of these services.  Right now I’ll stick to Uber and Lyft…But I think Washio is close behind on my list.

I was inspired by Laura’s post yesterday about mastering specific little skills by her 30s. I thought about how I feel like I don’t dress appropriate to my age. Obviously, it’s subjective, but the way I dress makes me feel younger than I am, and maybe that in turn makes me act younger than I am. Who knows.

The point is though, I feel like I haven’t “mastered” the art of dressing polished and together. I wear ratty black converse nearly every day and most of my shirts are cotton t-shirts from the Gap, with some variation of a horizontal strip pattern. And on top of that, I wear a backpack. I’m comfortable in this clothing, but it doesn’t make me feel confident and strong.

But when I put myself together in a more thoughtful way, like I did yesterday, when I wore a sweater dress and some nice flats (which is rare, maybe 3 times a month), I FELT better. I felt like a woman, a woman who could be teaching a class at UCLA, which I am. So one of my goals for 2015 is to dress a little better. To dress my age. What does that mean? Well, you tell me! I know there’s a lot of beauty and fashion bloggers out there who read the blog, so I’m open to ideas. I would love to know what clothing items make you feel like an empowered thirty something woman.

For me, I guess I imagine that it would mean having a nice handbag (why does that word make me feel like a grandma?) and wearing more than just Converse everyday. More shirts with nice fabrics like silk. Overall, I guess it means dressing like I’m okay with growing up…and if I’m getting into therapy mode – like I deserve to wear ‘adult’ clothing.