Monthly Archives: October 2014

So you Chose an Artistic Career Path and now You’re in Your 30’s and YOU BE BROKE

October 11, 2014 By in Career, Money Leave a comment

Okay, so broke is not the right word. I’m not broke – but I don’t have a sizable savings and buying a nice jacket on a whim at Banana Republic is not an option for me now. But, I am not complaining – because I chose this option. I want to write for TV and Film, and I could be toiling for many more years to get there, ‘there’ being the point where I’m paid for that work. That means though, that I can’t take a job with long hours or a ton of after-work responsibilities because I need time and mental energy to focus on my writing. So I’m stuck in a land of entry to mid level admin type work.

Which isn’t bad – it’s something to be thankful and grateful for – BUT,  as I get older and head into murky early thirties-mid-thirties territory, I worry about the “what ifs,” what if I don’t break through for awhile? What if I’m 45 before I do? All that saved salary I miss will have an impact. How will I afford children, if I choose I have them? Yes, my ‘husband’ can pull more of the weight but what psychological impact will that have on me as a woman? Will I feel it necessary to give up more ‘writing time’ to watch the children because he’s paying more for the household?  And very importantly, what about retirement – how can I keep up with saving enough money to retire one day?

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say with this post, but I do think making this sort of choice highlights something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. That life is all about paradoxes and compromises. There’s a internal richness that comes with making a decision to follow what some might call a very risky career path, but there’s the flip side of that – which is the very real worry of monetary security.

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The Gift of Living to Thirty

October 10, 2014 By in Health and Wellness 5 Comments

What if you knew you weren’t going to make it to age 30? What would you do? Doctors recently told 29 year old Brittany Maynard that she had a rare tumor in her brain that would stop her from living to celebrate her 30th birthday. Brittany decided to take matters into her own hands.

When Brittany learned that she had stage IV glioblastoma multiforme- a rare type of brain cancer that would kill her in a matter of months, she was living in California, but she and her husband decided to move to Oregon after the diagnosis. This is because Oregon is one of a handful of states that upholds what’s known as the Death With Dignity Act. This act provides options for dying individuals to choose when and how they would like to end their life, helping ensure that their final time on earth will be filled with as little pain and suffering as possible.

Brittany told People magazine, “My glioblastoma is going to kill me, and that’s out of my control. I’ve discussed with many experts how I would die from it, and it’s a terrible, terrible way to die. Being able to choose to go with dignity is less terrifying.”

Brittany has chosen to end her life on November 1st, in order to spend October 30th with her husband on his birthday. She will take prescription medication in her own room surrounded by her closest family and best friend. “Now that I’ve had the prescription filled and it’s in my possession, I have experienced a tremendous sense of relief,” Brittany said. “And if I decide to change my mind about taking the medication, I will not take it. Having this choice at the end of my life has become incredibly important. It has given me a sense of peace during a tumultuous time that otherwise would be dominated by fear, uncertainty and pain.”

Though the Death With Dignity Act has become more accepted in recent years, and has been adopted in Washington, Vermont, Montana, and New Mexico, there is still some pushback against it. People are saying that a terminally ill patient choosing to end their life early is still committing suicide calling and calling the Death With Dignity act ‘assisted suicide’ and ‘euthanasia.’ Brittany has said this in response: “There is not a cell in my body that is suicidal or that wants to die. I want to live. I wish there was a cure for my disease but there’s not.”

I’d never heard of Death With Dignity or glioblastoma multiforme before Brittany’s story. I’m glad that she’s able to end her life on her terms and not completely at the mercy of her disease. My heart breaks for this brave, beautiful woman who will not live to see age 30.

Watch Brittany’s amazing video here.

You can join me in signing a thank you card to Brittany. Her story of courage at the end of life has become an inspiration to millions of people around the world.

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A “Thrisis” Is Not A Medical Condition

October 9, 2014 By in Health and Wellness Leave a comment

Ever heard of the word “thrisis”? I hadn’t until the other day, when a wine-fueled googling expedition led me down a rabbit hole of articles about “surviving your thrisis.” It sounded like some strange medical condition, something in between thrush (yikes!) and a thyroid issue. But the word “thrisis” actually refers to the mental and psychological “crisis” that one experiences during their thirties, not unlike a mid-life crisis.

I’m not sure where the term began or who exactly coined it, but it’s been popping up in articles and blogs. While everyone seems to have some different version of it, the common themes and complaints of a “thrisis” seem to be:

  • “Now that I’m 34, my life doesn’t match up with how I thought it would be.”
  • “I’m a corporate professional and I’ve reached a high-level in my company and have a corresponding salary, but how come I don’t feel fulfilled?”
  • Basic feeling of being underwhelmed with your life
  • Feeling less “black and white” about life and choices, and more “grey”

There’s even a book about having a “thrisis” – it’s called “30-Something and Over It” by Kasey Edwards.

In her book, Edwards talks about how the experience of having a “thrisis” can help you “take stock” of your life so you can avoid having regrets down the road. She writes, “It’s about looking ahead, thinking, I don’t want the next 30 years to be like this.”

I’ve definitely thought about this in terms of my own life, and yes, I do have occasional freak outs about feeling “behind” as a thirty-something. I don’t have a solid set of career accomplishments, I’m not married, and I don’t have children. But since I’m still climbing the ladder towards my career as a screenwriter and TV writer, the common ‘thrisis’ feeling of reaching a high level and not finding fulfillment isn’t resonant for me.

How about you? Have you had a “thrisis”?

Taking Yourself on a Date

October 8, 2014 By in Relationships 4 Comments

The other day I made a secret plan. I picked out a movie I wanted to see, researched the nearest movie theater to my hotel (I’m still working in Dallas), and figured out the best time to go to the theater. I was going to go to a movie alone, something I’ve never done before.

You see, as much as I enjoy my own company, I’ve just never been good at trying totally new activities on my own. I usually let other people introduce me to new experiences. Once I’ve done something a few times, it gets a lot easier to continue, but it’s always difficult to begin. I go running alone, and I usually exercise alone, and I can even go on tours of cities alone and explore museums alone, but I’d never gone to the movies alone…and since I’d never done that before, I wasn’t sure if I ever would.

So I decided that it was time to take myself on a movie date. It was quite an exciting thought. I’m single right now for the first time in over 5 years, and I want to spend some time getting to know myself better – what better way to do that then to take myself out?

So I got into the date mindset. I made sure I picked a movie I’d wanted to see for awhile. I arranged for the hotel shuttle to pick me up, put on my favorite music before I left and exercised in my room for a bit. Then I picked out clothes for myself that made me feel good and fixed my hair. When I got to the theater, I put my phone away and explored the bar. Then I sat where I wanted to sit and ate the movie snacks I wanted to eat. When the movie ended, I stayed put for all of the credits and let everything soak in. It was kind of glorious.

The movie was amazing and the experience was even better. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen a movie alone sooner. It was a great date! Woohoo!

Haha, I guess the idea of taking myself on a date had seemed scary and depressing in the past. And maybe the whole thing could’ve been scary or depressing…like any date. But this outing had been fun and enlightening.

Hopefully I’ll go out with myself again soon.

If you’ve been thinking of taking yourself out solo, I say go for it, even if you’re feeling hesitant. It’s worth a try! Or have you already done this? What was your experience like?

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I saw ‘Boyhood’ at the Magnolia theater in Dallas. Brilliant movie- filmed over 12 years…quite possibly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.

How many of your friends know your salary?

October 7, 2014 By in Money Leave a comment

What do you think about sharing salary details with your friends?

In my twenties, I knew what most of my friends were making. That was because we were all in the same boat – or rather the same entry-level dingy. We were all making anywhere from 22k to 45k in our starter jobs, with some outliers of course. But because we were in a similar salary range, it was easy subject to talk about in our twenties. In fact, it brought us closer – we commiserated by finding the best happy hours in the city and living in shitty apartments with roommates we found on craigslist.

Now that I’m in my early 30’s, I don’t know a single friend’s salary except Laura’s, but even that’s a rough estimate because it changes every year because of the nature of her job. I know Laura’s salary because we enjoy talking about money and saving together. We even have an informal “money club,” where we talk savings ideas and salaries. Maybe it works because we made about the same amount (before I left for graduate school; now I’m just diving into savings constantly). But aside from Laura, I don’t know the salaries of my closest friends.

From around 27 and up, salaries of your peers diverge greatly. Some people choose to go the way of the artist and take day jobs while they spend nights and weekends working on their side projects.  Others choose the more corporate path and get their MBAs or law degrees, likely making six figures and up. So it becomes awkward when the disparity is so large.

What would happen if we did share our salaries? Are we afraid of the jealousies that would creep up? Or the divides that would suddenly appear? Is salary information simply just not that important anymore? Or are we too polite?

For those curious, here is some interesting salary information:

 

Working Away From Home on Your Birthday

October 6, 2014 By in Career 2 Comments

I’m self-employed and my job takes me out of town a lot. Three years ago, I worked away from home during my birthday. I was in Chicago, staying at a Holiday Inn with two coworkers. After a long day of work, my coworkers were tired and didn’t want to go out.  One of them sweetly bought me a beer and appetizers at our hotel bar/restaurant. It was a kind thing to do, but I couldn’t stop feeling like the whole day was extremely depressing, and I swore to never work away from home on my birthday again.

This year, I broke my promise and was out of town working once more on my birthday. I ended up getting a really amazing job in Dallas that I’m still out of town for. The job takes me out of town for 24 days, one of them being my 30th birthday.

At first I was worried I was going to feel really lonely and depressed. I had already planned a birthday dinner out with my closest friends (a tradition I love every year) and when I got the job, I cancelled the dinner. Then I had a better idea, and changed the date of the dinner for when I got back. Having a birthday celebration still happening at a later date made me feel a lot better- like the party hadn’t stopped, it’d just gotten delayed.

I was then much calmer about being away for my 30th. And once I let go of my expectations, an amazing thing happened- I ended up having one of the best birthdays ever- even while away from home. I relaxed and simply made a plan for the night. I invited everyone I worked with out for dinner and drinks, and I researched restaurants and bars in Dallas. I found a well-reviewed (go Yelp!) Afghani restaurant (never had Afghani food before in my life) called Nora and it ended up being awesome. Then a coworker recommended we head to a line-dancing, two-stepping, mechanical bull-riding (never done any of those things) bar called Cowboy Red River. It was like nowhere I’d ever been before, and we had the coolest night, Texan style!

Letting go/relaxing on my birthday was the major foundation for a great night. I had no real expectations, but it helped to have a plan and get people on board with it early. I was also lucky to be surrounded with really supportive people who made the day feel special.

I guess this once again all figures into my favorite quote- “wherever you go, there you are.” Even though I was away from home, I felt much more centered this year, and I took that feeling with me. No matter what happened, I knew that I was okay. And it was nice to feel at home with myself on my birthday, even on the road.

At Cowboy Red River, after riding the mechanical bull and before an attempt at the two step..

With my amazing coworkers at Cowboy Red River in Dallas, after riding the mechanical bull but before attempting the two step.

Friendship Changes in Your Thirties

October 4, 2014 By in Friendships Tags: Leave a comment

Five years ago, I was 27. When I think back to that time, I realize that I still have the same group of close friends now. We may not see each other that often because of living across the country from each other, or having children or marriages that demand time and responsibility, or a host of other reasons. But when we reconnect, the closeness always feels there, though the frequency of our communication  has shifted over the years, ebbing and flowing.

But, when I think back to when I was 23 and to who my friends were then, I realize the circle was quite different and I’ve lost about three very close friends. One was about a specific incident, one happened because we simply changed and faded away from each other, and the other one was somewhat inexplicable. It lowered my self esteem for years; I wondered what was wrong with me – had I changed in some profound way that made me unlikeable? Was something fundamentally wrong with me because I couldn’t keep lifelong friendships?

I’ve found none of the above to be true. Actually, what I’ve found seems to happen in your early-mid twenties is a kind of subconscious friendship purge. As you go through your twenties, you change rapidly and your friends starting to reflect the changes in your life. You’ve brought a lot of baggage from your “college self” and your “adolescent self” into your twenties and you’re shedding it as you move through that decade of your life- and your friendships are bound to reflect that shedding process.

Now that I’m 32, I feel like the close friends I have now will remain close in the future. Once you get to your early 30’s, you’ve weeded out most of the people that just aren’t working for you.

In your thirties, you start to realize you really need to be uplifted from your friends. Toxicity just won’t do. Life is too short for people who don’t celebrate you. I love this quote from Mother Teresa- and it’s applicable to friendships:

 “Let no one ever come to you without leaving you better and happier.” – Mother Teresa

30 Quotes About the 30’s!

October 3, 2014 By in Grab Bag 4 Comments

It was actually hard to find 30 quotes about being in your 30’s. I mean, there are a ton of sayings about being over the hill and ‘older than dirt’ at 30, but I didn’t really enjoy those so I didn’t bother listing them. If you google ‘being 30’ or look at any birthday greeting card, you’ll easily find the negatives, though.  They’re the majority…ah, we live in such an ageist society.

I ended up having to broaden my list to include more funny quotes, thought-provoking quotes, book quotes, quotes from current celebrities and inspirational speakers. That helped. Attention writers: the world needs more quotes about being 30! (Update: We actually made a coloring book with our favorite thirties quotes!) Here’s a list of my favorites in no particular order:

  1. 30 is three perfect 10’s. -Anonymous
  2. 30 was the best year of my life until the next year and then the next. Every year since 30 has been the best year. -Bonnidette Lantz
  3. Everything I know I learned after I was thirty. -Georges Clemenceau.
  4. A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.  -Andy Rooney.
  5. At 20 years of age the will reigns, at 30 the wit, at 40 the judgement. – Benjamin Franklin
  6. 30 was so strange for me. I really had to come to terms with the fact that I’m now a walking, talking adult. -CS Lewis
  7. I didn’t write any fiction until I was past thirty. -Grace Paley
  8. Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did. -Rita Mae Brown
  9. There’s an ‘Everything must go!’ emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn’t there? What will happen if we turn thirty and we’re not ‘ready?’ You don’t feel entirely settled in any aspect of your life, even if you are on paper. -Sloane Crosley
  10. Many a man who has known himself at ten forgets himself utterly between ten and thirty. – Catherine Drinker Bowen
  11. At age 30, one receives strength. -Talmud
  12. Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years. -Oscar Wilde
  13. “It doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be by the time you turn eighteen or thirty-three or fifty-nine. It doesn’t have to conform to whatever is usual. It doesn’t have to be kismet at once, or rhapsody by the third date.It just has to be. In time. In place. In spirit. It just has to be.” -David Levithan
  14. I wish I was a woman of about thirty-six dressed in black satin with a string of pearls. -Daphne Du Maurier (Rebecca)
  15. You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life. -Coco Channel
  16. There is only one way to read, which is to browse in libraries and bookshops, picking up books that attract you, reading only those, dropping them when they bore you, skipping the parts that drag-and never, never reading anything because you feel you ought, or because it is part of a trend or a movement. Remember that the book which bores you when you are twenty or thirty will open doors for you when you are forty or fifty-and vise versa. Don’t read a book out of its right time for you. -Doris Lessing
  17. The truth is, part of me is every age. I’m a three-year-old, I’m a five-year-old, I’m a thirty-seven-year-old, I’m a fifty-year-old. I’ve been through all of them, and I know what it’s like. I delight in being a child when it’s appropriate to be a child. I delight in being a wise old man when it’s appropriate to be a wise old man. Think of all I can be! I am every age, up to my own. -Mitch Albom (Tuesdays With Morrie)
  18. Thirty-nine is a sweet number. It’s thirteen times three. It’s also the sum of five prime numbers in a row – 3,5,7,11,13. And if you add the first three powers of three, 3 to the first, 3 to the second, and s to the third, you get thirty-nine. -Rick Riordin (The Maze of Bones)
  19. Thirty was a big deal for me. It was the age where I reevaluated everything – how I approached life and how I thought about myself. – Amy Adams
  20. I just came into my own sexuality at thirty. I don’t think it’s something you can deeply experience at 18 or any time before that. -Eva Longoria
  21. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little. -Shannon Hale (Austenland)
  22. Travel is “Maybe I don’t have to do it that way when I get back home.” It’s nostalgia for studying abroad that one semester. Travel is realizing that “age thirty” should be shed of its goddamn stigma.” -Nick Miller
  23. I was thirty-seven years old and still discovering who I was.” -Julia Child
  24. Some we know to be dead even though they walk among us; some are not yet born though they go through all the forms of life; other are hundreds of years old though they call themselves thirty-six. -Virginia Woolf
  25. They were all in their early thirties. An age at which it is sometimes hard to admit that what you are living is your life. -Alice Munro
  26. I prefer sinners and madmen, who can learn, who can change, who can teach-or people like myself, if I may say so, who are not afraid to eat a lobster alone as they take on their shoulders the monumental weight of thirty years. -James Baldwin
  27. When I turned 30, I was done with Thousand Island dressing. I have moved on to Island Number 1001.
 -Jarod Kintz
  28. The Master said, At fifteen I set my heart upon learning.
    At thirty, I had planted my feet firm upon the ground.
    At forty, I no longer suffered from perplexities.
    At fifty, I knew what were the biddings of Heaven.
    At sixty, I heard them with docile ear.
    At seventy, I could follow the dictates of my own heart; for what I desired no longer overstepped the boundaries of right. -Confucious
  29. Basically, I realized I was living in that awful stage of life between twenty-six to and thirty-seven known as stupidity. It’s when you don’t know anything, not even as much as you did when you were younger, and you don’t even have a philosophy about all the things you don’t know, the way you did when you were twenty or would again when you were thirty-eight. -Lorrie Moore
  30. She didn’t feel thirty. But then again again, what was being thirty supposed to feel like? When she was younger, thirty seemed so far away, she thought that a woman of that age would be so wise and knowledgeable, so settled in her life with a husband and children and a career. She had none of those things. She still felt as clueless as she had felt when she was twenty, only with a few more gray hairs and crow’s feet around her eyes.- Cecilia Ahern

We’ve recently (July 2017) made a coloring book with all 30 of these quotes! If you’re looking for a gift for your thirty-something year old friends, the book is beautiful, fun, and a perfect birthday present! Here’s a link to the 30 Quotes About the 30’s coloring book. And this is a link to a black background version of the book. Enjoy!

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The Broad Question of 30

October 2, 2014 By in Grab Bag Leave a comment

This post was originally titled “Who Am I At 30?” I had to change the name because it paralyzed me with fear.

Who am I at any point? Every day I feel different. I almost didn’t write this post today because I wasn’t in a writing mode. That may change tomorrow- and so maybe tomorrow would be a better day to write this post.

I’m writing today anyway. Today is always the best day to write a post, dammit.

So who am I at 30? I don’t know if I know the answer any better than my 29 year old self did. I’m a collection of things…I even made a list in preparation to write this post. It went:

I’m extremely reliable
Family and friend oriented
All about dependability- flakiness= sadness
A traveler
Introvert who wants to be an extrovert
Vegetarian
Kind, but my neutral face looks mean- fools people
A runner
Happiest when I’m helping someone
Most content on 7.5 hours of sleep or more, preferably from 1am to 9am
Drawn to meditation

Little things:
A lover of water bottles with built in straws
Perpetual pasta craver
Obsessed with talking about cities I’d love to visit
Summer = best season
Lover of lists- to-do lists are especially good.

I don’t know if that list even starts to answer the question “Who am I at 30?” But I think it scratches the surface of the question “Who is 30 to me?”

Who are you, 30???

On all previous birthdays, I’ve asked myself: What is new about this age? Am I any different than the year before? The answer has usually been “I don’t feel any different.’ Yet 30 feels different. It has its expectations. There are stigmas here. Milestones. Landmines.  It feels like uncharted territory in a way the twenties have never felt. To me, 30 is a stereotype, the top of a never-ending mountain, the shadowy cloaked figure that means “real life adult.” And then it also means “that’s not true at all!” I know tons of people in their 30s and 40s who are completely different than the stereotypes suggest.

One of my favorite quotes has always been “wherever you go, there you are.” Even when I feel like I’m getting away from everything I call home, I realized quite a few years back that I’m still always taking myself along with me. It was an interesting lesson to learn. Relating that quote to my 30th birthday, I’m starting to think the new lesson is: “However you grow, there you are.” Ok, that’s corny…because, you know, because I was trying to phrase it the same, whatever… But the point is that even though you’re always ending up at an older age, there you are.

And so here I am at 30. On the precipice of something that feels uncharted, unclear, undetermined. I’m either at the end of something that’s barely begun, or the beginning of something that’s barely ended. But it’s still me. Yes, that feels right. I’m here, 30! I’m somewhere in there.

What the 30’s Decade Means to Me

October 2, 2014 By in Grab Bag Leave a comment

Granted I’m only 2.5 years into my 30’s, but if I had to put it into one word, the 30’s for me is about all about “priorities.” With less free time, I’ve had to really decide what to spend my hours on.

One of the definitions of the word priority is:

“The right to take precedence or to proceed before others.”

I love that definition because it’s easy to forget that you have the right to set your own priorities. Your priorities should not be dictated by the demands others place on you. I mean, you have to WORK to pay your rent and bills, but there’s also a ton of free time in your day. Many times, you can choose the sort of work you do.

The thing is, if you don’t set your priorities, others will set them for you. You know that shitty feeling when you’re getting ready for bed, and you look back at all you’ve done during the day, and recognize that you did nothing to further your own personal goals? Maybe you were just on the treadmill of unfulfilling job, food, sleep, shower, etc? Well, that’s a depressing feeling and for me, it’s happened more often than I’d like to admit.

In my own life, I’ve found that by setting my own personal priorities recently, the following shifts have happened in my life:

1) Sacrificed the amount of friends I have for the quality of those friendships.

2) Only taken jobs that I feel good about even if I make much less money.

3) Identified and accepted core truths about myself that have informed how I live my life (i.e. – I need and love a lot of alone time, and sometimes that means I sacrifice a “networking” opportunity for QT time with myself.)

What are your own personal priorities? Have they shifted as you’ve moved into your 30’s?

Hi, I’m Laura. And I’m also thirty. Today.

October 2, 2014 By in Grab Bag Leave a comment

“Are we there yet?”

Oh my god, we are here. This is it. This. Is. 30. I’ve just turned 30 today. Eek, the 40 year old version of this movie wasn’t so good. So I hope this is a better place.

But where exactly am I?

I don’t know. Have 30 years of my life really gone by? Wow. That seems like a lot.

I have memories of being 8. Of being in grade school and reading about the lives of the sisters in the book ‘All of a Kind Family’ and wishing I was younger so that I could be the same age as the sister named ‘Charlotte.’ Because I really liked the name Charlotte.

I remember being 10. Of standing in a D’Agostinos supermarket on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and staring at 9 lone bottles of maraschino cherries and profoundly thinking: I’ll never be a single digit age again.

And then, at 15, I remember sitting in a youth theater and reminiscing about the twists and turns my life must have taken to get me to where I was. I thought:  ‘I can’t believe all of my decisions have led me here. To this theater. To being cast in this stage version of ‘Singin’ In the Rain.’ Right now. How does life work that way?’ And then I turned around and met Jane.

Jane was getting ready to rehearse with me for the show, but for a moment, we were just strangers sitting in an audience. And then Jane and I went out for pizza one day after rehearsal and watched another cast member shove his face into a pizza pie and throw all his money into the street and do some more crazy things that feel like a dream now, but I’m pretty sure were real. I don’t know what became of that cast member, but laughing at his craziness at the time caused Jane and I to start bonding.

And then Jane and I continued bonding and found out that we went to the same high school and realized we sort of had everything in common. We both loved theater, could gossip for hours, were obsessed with pizza in all of its forms, could laugh until it was physically painful, enjoyed planning all of our future romances, and plotted crazy schemes involving catching criminals and solving the biggest mysteries of the universe.

Come to think of it, not much has changed.

At 15, we became the closest of friends. Fast forward countless birthdays, laugh fests and cry fests later, and here we are in our thirties. And because we still love exploring the mysteries of the universe, and can’t resist a good laugh, we want to stop and explore the thirties. And the idea for this website was born.

A major thing Jane and I both have in common is an obsession with painful truths that lead to possible enlightenment. We also both love sharing and listening to stories about maybe horrible but often hilarious experiences. And we feel the need to write everything and anything down. So we ask you: what are the thirties about? What does this strange age mean? The aim is to find answers, truths, stories, or perhaps even more questions about the strange phenomenon that is the thirties. Nothing is off-limits- we talk about the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. The goal is to smash up the stereotypes and spill out the stigma of thirty.

Instead of what the thirties should be, we want to open up what they are and what they can be. We hope you enjoy the exploration, join in on the laughter, and help us crack some unsolved mysteries.

 

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Welcome! I’m Jane.

October 2, 2014 By in Grab Bag Leave a comment

Hi, guys! Thanks for stopping by. Welcome to Day 1.  Laura and I started this site with the aim of exploring the thirty-something decade, that time period in one’s life that Jezebel’s Tracy Moore has dubbed the “do or die decade.”  (http://jezebel.com/5987398/your-thirties-are-do-or-die) We hope this becomes a place where we can talk openly and honestly about life in our thirties. And we decided to start today because it’s Laura’s 30th birthday! Happy birthday, my dear friend.

We’re both going to tell you a little bit about us, so we’re not just strangers pontificating on this life stage. I’m Jane, I’m 32 and I’m a born and bred New Yorker. I grew up on the Upper East Side, but it wasn’t like Gossip Girl. It was just a quiet, neighborhood-y area of Manhattan with a high person to bagel shop ratio. I went to a public high school in the Bronx, which is where Laura also went, but we happened to meet in a youth theater group in the East Village. We both wore big glasses, loved theater and hanging out at McDonald’s after school. And, not gonna lie, we were both kinda dorky back in the day. See Exhibit A below.

old laura

Laura circa high school

old jane w glasses

Jane circa 5th Grade

I went to college in Baltimore where I studied film and media, and when I graduated, I got assistant jobs at film studios in NYC.  Somewhere after that first job sitting in a cubicle, I realized that what made me love film and theater was the writing itself. I loved being at the genesis of the creation; I wanted to live in the private place where ideas are born. (Or this is when I discovered that I’m a total narcissist.) I pursued my writing while working various low level office jobs in the film and copywriting world. At some point around 27, I realized how I needed to take that next step in my career and devote myself fully to the work of screenwriting and playwriting. I thought that graduate school would be that next step, and I applied to several MFA programs.

Jump forward a few years and rejections later…

And here I am. In LA, getting my MFA at UCLA in Screenwriting. It’s been a wonderful experience – we write a new feature film length screenplay (or TV pilot) every 10 weeks, 3 times a year. It forces you to be prolific. And the people are great. It’s nice having other writers who ‘get ‘what you do. But, I won’t lie and tell you I’m loving LA. I still don’t feel entirely at home here and miss my buddies and family in NYC. But I’ve heard adjusting to LA takes a few years. We’ll see.

So. This project.

Here it goes. We want to hear from you, so please comment. Let’s tawk, people.

And happy 30th birthday, Laura! It’s going to be an amazing decade.

jane laura bar

Present day – and PS – why is my skin so red?!