Category Archives: Grab Bag

Lessons From a Fever in Your Thirties

March 9, 2017 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

I was traveling for work for the last 25 days, and for most of that time I was well- physically at least. Mentally, I was exhausted at times, from both the amount of travel and the sheer magnitude of people and bustle and noise constantly surrounding me at most shows.

But the mental and the physical are intertwined, and during the last week of my travel, I developed a fever while working in Cleveland, Ohio. It’s funny how illnesses sometimes sneak up on you, and my weakening muscles deceived me into thinking that I had always felt so unsteady. I tried to furtively stretch while still on the work floor, but every tendon in my body ached, and it felt more agonizing by the minute to simply stand up, never mind give infinite presentations and answer the slew of questions coming at me. Plus, my stomach was wrestling with my mind as well- telling me it was utterly starving one minute and then agonizingly full the next- right after I’d eaten only 3 bites of something.

My coworkers said I had The Cleve- a mythological disease known to strike first-timers to the Cleveland area we were in: the airport area of despair. You see, almost everyone who’d worked this particular show fell deathly ill at some point at least one of the years they’d worked it. Why? Who knows. The lighting is yellow and dim- sort of despairing. The convention center used to be a military facility, if that adds anything. I googled whether there was something up with the water supply in the area but my search returned nothing. No offense to any of you who may be from/live in Cleveland. The downtown area seemed awesome, but alas we weren’t ever near there.

Somehow I made it to the end of the work day that day, and with the help of lots of zinc and rest that night was able to make it back to work the next day (sick days are unheard of in my field during a show). Even though my muscles ached less and my stomach was slowly starting to unclench, I ended up taking it extra easy on myself for the remainder of the show…and even into this week. I probably should always be taking care of myself so thoroughly, if not more so.

This week -and last- I put myself to bed earlier and sleep in when I can. I eat and chew extra slowly in case my stomach turns on me. I lie in bed and bask in the sheer bliss of a few moments of extra meditation. Sometimes I’m not even meditating- just staring at the ceiling, feeling smooth sheets underneath me. I drink less- well, I drank less last week anyway. We had a Cleveland bowling onesie costume party one night, and somehow I got through that without touching a sip of alcohol. I allowed myself to go very slow as I packed for the next trip. I ran outside extra carefully this week. I spent a few lovely  moments staring out of the airplane window or watching a movie as opposed to trying to accomplish tasks. I let myself breathe. I give myself room.

And as I do, I feel healthier, but I also feel more loved. I’m taking care of myself as if I love myself and as if I’m treasured. And as I do that, all of those things are true to me.

But you don’t need to be sick to treat yourself with love.

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Success Is Not a Zero Sum Game

February 14, 2017 By in Grab Bag 3 Comments

Happy Valentines Day- whatever that means to you. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, and whether you hate this holiday or absolutely love it..or can barely fight your indifference, I think this is as good a day as any to send some love to yourself.

Once I wrote a post entitled Is Dating In Your Thirties A Zero Sum Game? Now I want to write about discovering your success- which I think is an extremely appropriate topic to write about on Valentines Day.

Seth Godin recently wrote in a very short blog post:

Some can only win when others lose.

Others seek to win by helping others succeed.

One of these approaches scales far better than the other.

If there’s any life lesson I’ve been grappling with lately that has helped me grow a ton, it’s this one. I’ll admit it here to you guys- I definitely have a jealous streak. I get jealous of other people’s success sometimes. I’m working on it and it’s definitely getting better, but my jealousy monster has had its very very bad days. I believe this green eyed beast stems from two old beliefs, one blatantly false and the other unknown.

The blatantly false one is this: “If someone else succeeds in getting something I want, I have not succeeded.”

I mean, that’s an extremely irrational belief. I can see it clearly now. And it can lead down a very dark path that  begins to play with the thought: “Why am I failing?” And much worse: “Why am I a failure?”

What has helped me move beyond my feelings of failure and jealousy has been my growing belief in abundance. Basically, when someone else succeeds, it doesn’t mean that you have not succeeded, because there is an infinite amount of success. When another person takes from the ocean of success, it takes nothing away from you, because the ocean is infinite and there is always more. In fact, you can take all of this a step further and say “When someone else succeeds, it’s even better for me, because I’m around successful people and success is all around me. So I’m totally on the right track.”

The other belief that sometimes comes over me when someone succeeds in getting/having something I want is: “Life is unfair and random. I can work much harder than everyone else and still not find success.” This is an unknown belief because life can indeed be ‘unfair’ and can seem quite random, but I truly believe that there’s a method to the madness that we may not fully understand. I’m not religious at all, but on my best days I go back to the ideas of abundance I mentioned above, and know that success is already mine. Also, I’m believing more and more that when people around me succeed, their success is my success too.

So don’t worry if you’re down about where you are in life. Success is already yours- you just have to realize it.

Many thanks to our amazing readers, and to the inspiring friends and family all around me, who help me find my abundant success even in the most confusing of times. You are very loved.

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Help! Something is Broken and I Can’t Fix It In My 30’s

January 27, 2017 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Sometimes there’s an easy answer to what’s broken in your life.

The other day I realized my blender was leaking. Gooey green smoothie liquid ran down my wooden countertop and spilled onto the floor. When I lifted my blender jar, I realized that the smoothie was coming directly out of the bottom of the blender and then getting everywhere. I didn’t know what to do, and I had no one around to ask for recommendations. So I googled.

There were a lot of answers to my blender question, but they all required me unscrewing the bottom piece of the blender jar. Alas, for the life of me I couldn’t remove that bottom piece. The sticky sugars from the fruit in the smoothies had gotten it completely stuck. I tried using every ounce of my arm strength, and even used my handy rubber jar opener, but nothing worked.

For this new issue, there were even more Google answers. “Go to the hardware store and grab a wrench,” someone said. “Unscrew your blender jar with the wrench and then put the wrench back on the shelf.”

“It’s even easier than that,” someone else chimed in to the above responder’s comment, “wedge your blender in a doorjam, and hold it tight with the door as you unscrew. But don’t put too much pressure or you’ll crack it.”

That sounded complex.

“Just put your blender jar back in it’s base and turn the jar counterclockwise,” someone else responded, “and voila.”

Voila indeed. I decided to follow that last direction it took me all of 2 seconds and zero effort to unscrew my blender and fix the problem. So easy! My god, what if I had gone all the way to frigging Home Depot to borrow a wrench???!

And the whole blender debacle reminded me of other ceaseless issues that I suddenly solved in seconds. For years it took me almost 20 minutes at a time to pull the damn cap off of my travel contact lens fluid container in order to refill it. I macguyvered my tweezers and my nail file into a tool to jimmy that awful cap off, and even then I usually broke a few nails doing so. For years I hated this task, sometimes just spending lots of money buying new containers of travel contact lens fluid in order to avoid the hassle of refilling my old one.

But then one day I randomly googled “how to remove your contact lens solution cap” and this Youtube video came up entitled: “How to Refill Travel Sized Contact Lens Solution.” It solved all my travel solution problems. You just yank the cap off when it’s open in one fell swoop. Once I figured out that trick, it took me about 5 painless seconds to complete a task that used to take me a full twenty minutes of pain every time.

It’s funny how many broken or painfully annoying things may have easier solutions than we think. By our thirties, a lot of habits have been formed, both good and bad, and sometimes we need to find easier habits than we currently know. An easy, life-changing answer to an everyday annoyance might just be a google away.

On a related note for 30-somethings, what in the world would we do without the internet??

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The Beautiful Holidays of Your Thirties

December 24, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

No matter what holidays you celebrate, or where you are right now, I want to take a moment to wish you a happy holiday season and thank you for being here with us. Holidays have meant even more to me in my thirties than they ever have before, because I’m simply so appreciative of the time I get to spend with my friends and family and loved ones. I feel lucky that the holidays are a time when I get to come home, and when the ones I care about are home with me as well.

More than ever, I appreciate the time I have with people who matter to me, and I realize more and more that life is short but beautiful because of the amazing people in my life.

So for a moment let’s slow down the fast paced work clock that ticks constantly at our heels, and allow ourselves to enjoy what we know really matters. Have a wonderful season, enjoy what matters to you in your heart, and lets bring the holidays into our lives as much as we can all year round.

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Charity In Your Thirties

December 19, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Ten years ago, I saw a movie about Guantanamo Bay that completely incensed me. It was called “The Road To Guantanamo” and it was based on a true story about three Muslims from England who were captured by the US while on their way to wedding in Pakistan. They were mistaken for members of the Taliban and were sent to Guantanamo Bay and tortured for two years. Afterwards they were released without any charges. I was beside myself with outrage and disbelief during and after the film. How did this happen? How could we not know about this?

Then, after a few days, the movie faded from my consciousness. It was never completely gone, and although I still remember my response to it 10 years later, I also remember how helpless I felt to do anything against injustice like that. I told a few people about the movie, but that was it. I don’t even know if they watched it.

Right now, I’m having a similar devastated and equally unuseful feeling in my heart in response to what’s happening in Aleppo, Syria. Reading about children that are being ruthlessly shot on the streets, along with gunned down innocent men and women of all ages, while Syrian citizens reach out for help and to say goodbye on social media channels is horrific to the point that it doesn’t feel real.

The sad truth about what’s happening in Syria is that it’s awful on such a tremendous level that it’s hard to grasp. In Western Aleppo, 70 percent of buildings have been destroyed. Social media messages are going out stating truths that are too horrifying to fathom.

“Abdulla Saleem, 39, a doctor who is living in the bombed out remains of a building, said via WhatsApp, “They are killing everyone. … My friends are doctors, who were providing the only possible medical care to the injured. Now they are butchered. Everyone is dying. I will soon die, too.”

“Where are our supporters?” asked Radhwan Salem, 60. “Believers in humanity, I don’t understand how can the entire world watch this and do nothing. Oh, God, help us.”

As part of the world that is watching, what can I do? What can we do? I received an email recently from Marie Forleo about how horrified she and many other bloggers, authors, and activists including Glennon Doyle Melton, Elizabeth Gilbert, Cheryl Strayed, Brene Brown, Rob Bell and more are feeling about the atrocities in Aleppo. She mentioned how she and they had joined forces with a group called The Compassion Collective. The group has a specific action plan in place to help the citizens in Aleppo:

  • We’re going to purchase and fully equip two ambulances with medicine and medical supplies for 6 months, and enable The White Helmets– 100% VOLUNTEERS- to rescue children and vulnerable people trapped in the rubble;

  • We’ll equip the mobile hospital — which is arriving in Aleppo on Christmas Day — with medicine and supplies for serving the injured;

  • We’re going to help Independent Doctor’s Association fund the planning of the first pediatric hospital in the region; and

  • We’re going to continue to fund the work of the Help Refugees volunteer network devoted to delivering people to safety.

I immediately donated what little I could to the Compassion Collective’s cause, and I shared the information I received from Marie on my Facebook. Hopefully this blogpost will inform you guys about some ways that you can help aid efforts in Aleppo. Don’t feel useless, and don’t think you can’t do anything. Even if you can’t donate any money, which I absolutely understand, simply sharing information  on your social media networks about the Compassion Collective or The White Helmets is helpful. Here are some tweets that are being shared- feel free to copy and repost:

If we’re truly committed to a more loving and just world, we must ACT. http://bit.ly/2hCoOiz @MarieForleo @GilbertLiz @Momastery #Aleppo

 The healing of the world is in our hands. http://bit.ly/2hCoOiz @MarieForleo @GilbertLiz @Momastery @CherylStrayed @BreneBrown #Aleppo

You can also share this article about what anyone can do to help in Syria no matter where they live: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-help-aleppo-syria-what-charities-to-donate-to-2016-12/#contact-your-lawmakers-4

And if you’d like to donate to the Compassion Collective you can Donate directly using this link. 100% of funds received will go directly to aid in Aleppo.

Thanks so much for reading and for being caring and compassionate.

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Syria in 2010

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Syria now

The Feeling of Being In Your Body In Your Thirties

December 14, 2016 By in Grab Bag, Health and Wellness Tags: , , , , , , 4 Comments

Maybe it’s the meditation. I’ve been practicing for almost two years now so perhaps changes are happening that I don’t even realize. But sometimes, suddenly, in the middle of the day, or late at night, I’m suddenly very aware of the way I’m holding my stomach. My breathe is so shallow it barely reaches below my shoulders, and I’m walking around with an extreme amount of tension. And sometimes, suddenly, I let it all out. Do you ever feel like that?

Do you ever feel, suddenly, amazed to be in your body? I feel like this especially after recovering from being ill or from being hurt in some way- that’s the easiest time to feel it. If you’ve ever had a headache for forever, you might know the grateful feeling after the pain is gone. If you’ve twisted an ankle, or injured your knee, the sudden happiness that comes over you when you start to walk and feel better can be akin to nirvana.

But sometimes I feel this way randomly, without warning. I feel the walls of my apartment- bumpy on my fingertips, the wood floor underneath my feet-cold and indented.  Sometimes when I’m outside I feel a nervous pang as I let my stomach go, realizing I’ve been holding it in for awhile. And then I feel my breathe rush deeply into my entire ribcage.

It’s kind of fascinating and strangely new to feel my body, even though it’s always been there. I’ve already had 32 years with my warm shoulders, my darting eyes, my bony feet. Yet it’s taken this long to scratch the surface of unfurling my numb senses and letting myself be.

Does any of this sound familiar to you guys? Do you also feel you’ve just scratched the surface of “being aware of what your body feels like” or does that not sound familiar? Are these sensations important to you? Have you been working on becoming aware of how you feel in the moment? It’s one of those things that was never a priority for me before, so I’m wondering how others feel about it. Do you feel like awareness is something that’s come to the surface more in your thirties? I definitely do…I wonder if it’s because in our twenties we’re way more consumed outward appearances to others and not nearly as concerned with how we feel within ourselves…

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Unpacking After a Trip In Your Thirties

December 8, 2016 By in Career, Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I just red eyed home after a thirty day work stint in New Orleans, LA, and San Francisco. I feel like the great warm state of California and the incredible city of New Orleans should have left me feeling refreshed but instead I feel in need of a break. A home break, not a travel break.

When I get back to New York after a work trip, I always feel excited and relieved. But I feel especially excited and relieved during the holidays, in December, when my little studio apartment feels like a box of love and light.

This morning, my body kind of ached to stay in my apartment and do nothing. The want was strong for money to just flow to me so I don’t need to travel for it anymore. My unpacked suitcase looked so neat in the corner of my home- I usually unpack right away, but this time I left my bag and slept.

I lit a candle tonight as I unpacked. I removed my items slowly and mechanically from their balled up state. I moved slowly through the evening, my body heavy. I wasted a lot of time attempting to bake a lone sweet potato that didn’t cook through. So I made a mess of things attempting to mash it. This sums up my time in my little bachelorette apartment. The remains of my laundry stayed on the floor as I shoveled sweet potato in my mouth and rushed out the door to see a play.

The evening is cold and bright. Holiday lights sparkle on balconies. My winter boots and puffy jacket are wrinkled from summer storage but they’re so warm and feel so good. I wonder where I put my winter hats.

There’s a lot to do and I need a break. There’s a lot of work ahead. Some good work. And a lot of people ahead. All good. A lot of holidays ahead. And I feel relieved. I feel overwhelmed. I feel dazzled. I feel distinctly New York.

And I have unpacked. I am home. This is what melancholy is to me. And I’m filled with surrender. Im filled with joy.

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That Funny Horrible Feeling In Your Thirties

November 11, 2016 By in Grab Bag, Health and Wellness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I know I’m not supposed to write this- I’ve been on an extreme fast from negative information that’ll get me down lately. The negativity has been hard to avoid, but I’ve fastidiously stayed away from news sources and Facebook for the last 3 days. So I don’t really want to contribute to the negative information. I don’t really want to rant here. And I definitely don’t want to fight with anyone. But I’m writing. Something about it.

The other night was awful. Tuesday night. November 8th. It was a shocker that filled me with dread and terror. And disbelief. It’s hard to forget that moment of total disbelief.  I couldn’t really sleep Wednesday night, even though I went through my stages of grief during the day- anger, denial, bargaining, acceptance?- and felt on and off better and talked to good people and went for a nice run and meditated for a lot of the day and listened to some of my favorite positive sources like Esther Hicks talks. I read wonderful, helpful articles like It’s Going To Be Okay by Tim Urban of Wait But Why. I attempted to understand the almost 50 percent of Americans who don’t see things the way I do- well, don’t see this outcome the way I do. In reality, there are definitely way more than 50 percent of Americans who don’t see things the way I do. But I’d always felt like that was okay because it didn’t affect me. This does.

What can I do? I don’t know exactly. I attempt even harder to have compassion for everyone. To find anything I can that is good. I continue to seek goodness where it may be- which I know, deep down, is all over. And to do this, right now I know I must stay centered. Even if I have to close my eyes to do so. Right now, anyway.

I read an article once by Danielle LaPorte, where she was writing about how she went to India to meet the Dalai Lama. Right before she got some monks were brutally murdered…by other monks. It was just an awful tragedy- horrible. She was shaken by it and offered the Dalai Lama her condolences when she got there. What she wrote about his reply and how she felt about it still sticks with me. I think of it now:

“Ah, yes, thank you for your thoughts,” he said. “This is why we practice, for times like these when compassion is so necessary.” He didn’t nod in mutual disdain. He didn’t show any drama. He was soft and…practical.

This is why we practice.

For times like these.

You don’t need to forgive until you need to forgive. You don’t need nerves of steel until you need nerves of steel. You don’t need to call on your reserves of compassion, or fortitude, or faith until you’ve used up everything else.

When we’re healthy and happy we make sure to dance, we hit the court, we pick up the phone to check in, we drop by with something in hand…

We keep standing up to make our art even when we could be predictable pedestrians.

Because the day will most certainly come…that you will be struck down or ground down by life. It can come in tiny tearing heartbreaks five times a day, just walking through your neighborhood. It could come in the name of tragedy that could only happen once in a lifetime.

And you will need to withdraw the insights that you put into your heart’s escrow. And you will need to call on your people— the unseen and the ones right in front of you — to help you meet the day.

You will be interrupted.

You will be called on to expand. 

You will be asked who you are and why you are here.”

So I look for the insights in my hearts escrow. I continue to search for answers. I continue to not know. I continue to hold compassion. And, every day, I continue to practice.

 

 

How to Find the Right Temperature In Your Thirties

November 2, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

New Orleans always finds me in deep thought. I’ve written about this place before. There’s just something about this city that puts me in a deep space of introspection and rawness. Perhaps it’s the old south feel of the city, or the voodoo that’s still practiced as a religion here and there and around the corners of Louisiana. It could be the fact that New Orleans feels full of history and dancing, boozy ghosts (or at least I always like to think of them as dancing and boozy because scary ghosts scare me and are not invited into my space or my blog.)

I was in the shower tonight after a day of work in New Orleans and the water turned freezing cold. Then I turned the nozzle completely the other direction and the water got hot for a second and then cold again. Then I turned the nozzle up north and everything got colder but then burning. I looked closer through my contact lens-less vision at the nozzle and realized that the hot and cold signs were broken and spinning- or actually, they were on a spinning circle that wasn’t stuck to the wall. So knowing which direction was hot and which way was cold was a matter of feeling things out. And to make matters harder, the nozzle would spin infinitely in both directions, turning the water off and then on again without hitting any kind of foreseeable end point.

Eventually I let the nozzle go at the burning hot temperature I liked, and kept things that way, but I started wondering about all of us finding the temperatures we like in life. Perhaps we’ll  be told what direction to go, and try to follow that, but it won’t feel right. Eventually, looking closer through blurry vision, we can realize that something is off. Then we might follow an opposite directional indicator and just as soon realize that way is broken too. We may give up at this point, but if we just feel things out a little more, we might be close to finding what works for us…without shutting the whole thing down.Or, even more amazingly, we’ll continue beyond shutting it all down.

Because if you try long enough, you’ll shut things all down and turn them back on again numerous times before you get to where you want to be.

Just some deep Louisiana thought for the night. Hope it helps you keep on feeling things out.

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How Do You Celebrate Halloween in Your Thirties?

October 31, 2016 By in Grab Bag Leave a comment

I don’t really celebrate Halloween much. When I was a kid I liked it a lot- I think it was my favorite holiday, mainly because it was cool. I liked the idea of dark things- they seemed risky and more fun. But I think I stopped celebrating Halloween as I got older because it seemed like a hassle- and too expensive to get things together for a costume.

So this morning I didn’t really think about Halloween much- I didn’t have any parties to go to and I  hadn’t dressed up all weekend. So I felt like I couldn’t claim this holiday as “mine” and in fact, forgot about it to such an extent that I was surprised by some “Happy Halloween!!!” texts this morning.

But then I went for a run. And all throughout my little Queens neighborhood, celebratory decorations were around.

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There was a witch that welcomed werewolves and a werewolf that was waiting for waxing.

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A couple that got old together. Very old.

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Not creepy at all.

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Some creatures were more friendly looking.

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Others made me want to stay far away, lest I get trapped.

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Some you could “like” on Facebook. Do it! I dare you.

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Some couldn’t wait to massage your aching bones…

  1. img_4754img_4747And then there were movie references. And much more.

As I stopped to take photos, proud house decorators waved at me. I watched trick or treaters go by. I laughed and felt connected and proud of my neighborhood for putting on such a good show. Halloween had become mine again, if just for a day.

Happy Halloween!!

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How Do I Get Renters Insurance For My Apartment in my Thirties?

October 24, 2016 By in Grab Bag, Health and Wellness, Money Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Today I stared at a to do list item that has been on my list for many years, but has never before been checked off. That item is: Get Renters Insurance. And believe it or not, you guys, after all these years, I am now the proud owner of a year-long renters insurance policy!

Here’s why this achievement is important to me: this is the first time I’ve had a full apartment to call my own. I now live in a studio in queens. It’s nothing fancy, but I’m super happy with it and I love it very much. If something were to happen to it such as a fire or burglary, I’d be extremely upset. But I’d be even more upset if I then went into crazy bankrupting debt re-buying all my possessions, such as my bed and my couch and my desk and my computer and my clothing. I have more stuff than I think I have- a lesson I always learn again each time I move.

Getting renters insurance was both easier and harder than I thought. The hard part was that I had no idea where to start. I didn’t have a clue what company to go with, or even what companies were out there. I had no idea how much I should be paying per month nor how much I should be insured for nor what my deductible should be.

So I did what I always do when I’m not sure which direction to go: I googled. At first I just googled ‘get renters insurance’ but I just came up with a list of insurance companies touting how great they are, so I moved on to adding my favorite (mostly financial) bloggers to the keywords to see if they had any articles on the best of renters insurance, such as ‘best renters insurance ramit sethi’ or best renters insurance paula pant.’ Finally I tried ‘best renters insurance NYC’ and that brought up some good articles from websites I knew such as The Simple Dollar and Nerdwallet.

From these articles I got an idea of how much renters insurance should cost a month – IT’S USUALLY ONLY $12-$15 DOLLARS A MONTH! Not bad at all 

I also got an idea of about how much I should be insured for – around $25,000. That may sound high, but when you tally everything you own (bed, couch, desk, dresser, other furniture, tv, kitchen items, clothing, electronics, etc) plus possible cost of moving (yep, there’s all types of insurance and some even cover temporary stays if something happens to your permanent home), $25,000 is the recommended amount on average.

Then I got an idea of how high my deducible should be to keep my premiums low- the recommended amount is $500-$1000. I picked $1000.

Then I found a few websites that listed the best companies of 2016 for renters insurance- they all recommended different ones, but I looked up the companies that kept repeating on various websites: Allstate, State Farm, and Nationwide. I also checked Gotham Brokerage, specific to NYC.

Then I went to all four of those companies’ websites, and got quotes from all of them. I ultimately picked State Farm, which gives me the most coverage with the lowest premium, and I paid for it then and there- a grand total of $11 a month for $25,000 worth of coverage. This is not an advertisement for state farm though, or any of the above companies- I think rates and coverage are different for everybody.

But a major item on my to do list that has hung over my head for years was accomplished in about 40 minutes, including all the research and quotes and payment. Now imagine if I’d put renters insurance off longer and something had happened? I would’ve been pretty angry at myself.

So if you’re putting off getting renters insurance, I’d highly recommend going for it! It won’t take long and it’s cheap and will put your mind at ease. Here are some sites to get you started:

http://www.reviews.com/homeowners-insurance/renters/

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/best-renters-insurance/

https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/insurance/find-best-renters-insurance/

http://www.toptenreviews.com/services/insurance/best-renters-insurance/

https://www.creditsesame.com/blog/insurance/best-renters-insurance/

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New Hobbies in Your 30s

October 19, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , 3 Comments

When was the last time you took up a new hobby?

When people ask me what my ‘hobbies’ are – which is rare and mainly occurs on job interviews or awkward first dates – I usually have to pause and think. Does drinking wine and watching TV shows on Netflix count? Probably not. How about hanging out with friends? Nah, cause hobbies seem to imply having a skill. Does writing count? I would say no, because it’s not so much a ‘hobby’ as it is my primary career goal. So, I guess I don’t really have a ton of hobbies aside from reading. But I may have a new one…

Today my co-workers and I went to the craft store, Michael’s to pick up Halloween decorations for the office. We walked past the aisles of yarn and I was seduced by the colorful wool and cotton piles. I stopped and ran my hands over a container of thick teal colored yarn, and I knew I had to learn. I love chunky knits and I felt like this could make the perfect scarf or small cuddling blanket. Luckily, one of my co-workers is an experienced knitter so she promised to show me the basics.

When we got back to the office, she showed how to do a basic stitch, but it was hard! So it might be a little bit until I get the hang of this and can make something that vaguely resembles something. Guess that’s why it’s a hobby. It takes time to develop a skill.

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How do I Overcome Writer’s Block?

October 18, 2016 By in Career, Grab Bag Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I was just listening to an amazing interview with the incredible Seth Godin on Marie Forleo’s Marie TV show on her website. Seth Godin is one of my absolute favorite bloggers for a very particular reason: he blogs every day and even when his blogs are one sentence long he almost always has something thought-provoking to say.

Hearing Seth talk in this interview was quite amazing, as he went more in depth on his philosophies on life and blogging than I’d heard before- or maybe I’d seen him write these things before, but it always helps me to hear brilliant people share insights once again, especially in a different format.

One of the things Seth said that stuck out at me was his solution to writer’s block. Marie asked him how he blogs every day without running out of topics and thoughts to write about and he said that he writes how he talks, and that works because no one ever gets talkers block.

Interesting! I guess it’s true that -unless you’re feeling social phobia when you’re talking in public- you don’t really get talkers block. If you were talking to your best friend, you probably wouldn’t get talker’s block. I definitely love the way writers sound when they write the way they talk- there’s an honesty and a rawness to that kind of writing that makers me feel closer to the author.

Here’s a link to the absolutely brilliant interview, filled with many words of wisdom including Seth’s advice about how finding your ‘true calling’ is ultimately bullshit, and how you shouldn’t wait around. I’m actually going to listen to the interview again tomorrow and take notes.

Hope you enjoy!

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The Hush-hush 30’s Decade- Why Are the 30’s Not Really Talked About?

September 19, 2016 By in Grab Bag 2 Comments

When Jane and I started this blog, we were excited to connect with a community of 30’s bloggers. We thought we’d be able to get tons of advice about the 30’s decade, and find tons of research on the 30’s had already been done for us. However, 30-somethings truly have to search for this kind of community, because it doesn’t really exist in any kind of cohesive way. The 30’s decade seems to kind of be a hush-hush decade.

There are lots of opinions about why the 30’s are the least talked about decade, but none of them satisfy me. I was reading an article the other day called The 30-Something Female Experience- What Is It Really? and the author asked a lot of women (well, her friends) why they thought the 30’s weren’t talked about as much as the 20’s or 40’s and most of the friends’ answers went something like “the 30’s are a boring decade,” “the 30’s are the middle child decade between the cool 20’s and the amazing 40’s.”

“The 30s get the shaft by society because it is the middle child. The 20s are a time to experiment and experience, by your 40s you have it dialed in, but your 30s is that awkward adolescence of figuring out how to get your family and yourself out the door in the morning, kick ass at work, have a healthy dinner on the table that evening, connect with your partner but not skip story time for the kids and still find time to get in a run to recover your pre-baby body or maintain a healthy figure. It’s not pretty as you’re trying to figure this out.”

My theory on the dearth of 30’s information kind of comes down to: the 30’s aren’t a sexy decade in the eyes of society. I mean, I feel more empowered than ever (mainly because I feel like I know myself better than ever), and feel extremely sexy in my own body (though I felt sexy in my 20’s too, but in a different and more unhealthy way), but there’s no marketing buzz around the 30’s that catches the media eye… we are in a lost decade. The empowerment decade (complete even with it’s own magazine- More Magazine) seems to be the 40’s (thank god- I’m happy that the 40’s are empowered, don’t get me wrong), and the crazy, wild decade is known to be the 20’s. So the 30’s decade is the….?

I think the 30’s decade is the growth decade. So much happens here in our 30’s. So much is put together in our 30’s. But perhaps growth isn’t sexy- especially not in our mainstream society. Hint: 30’s growth definitely isn’t sexy to the media. What can we do to change that? Do we need to change the perception of the 30’s?

 

Life Lessons You Learn By 30

September 14, 2016 By in Grab Bag Tags: , , Leave a comment

One of my favorite websites to read for inspiration is The Minimalists, run by two friends who had achieved everything they thought would make them happy by age 30: six-figure salaries, nice homes, cars, expensive clothing, etc. but even with all that, they didn’t feel fulfilled. So they gave it all up to live minimalist lives. You can read more about what that means to them on the “About” tab of their blog.

There’s a post of theirs in particular that I really like and that I think you guys will find relevant:  30 Life Lessons From 30 Years.

The most resonant lesson for me is:

5. Make change a must. For the longest time, I knew I wanted to change: unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled, I knew I didn’t have freedom—not real freedom. The problem was I knew this intellectually, but not emotionally: I didn’t have the feeling in my gut that things must change. I knew they should change, but the change wasn’t a must for me, and thus it didn’t happen. A decision is not a real decision until it is a must, until you feel it on your nerve-endings, until you are compelled to take action. Once your shoulds have turned into musts, then you are ready for change.

There were many years before graduate school when I knew I wanted to be a writer but I didn’t actually make the time to write. Eventually, it became MORE painful to NOT write than to actually sit down and write. And that is when I became a real writer.

How can you transform your ‘shoulds’ into ‘musts’? And if they’re too hard to make ‘musts,’ then perhaps you don’t want whatever it is badly enough and aren’t ready to prioritize that change.

I guess it’s also learning how to accelerate getting that feeling in your gut – learning to tap into your emotional drivers.

What big lessons did you learn by the time you reached 30?

Knowing the Difference Between Labor Day, Veterans Day and Memorial Day by Your Thirties

September 5, 2016 By in Grab Bag Leave a comment

Hope your having a great Labor Day weekend! This is a post I wrote last Labor Day, but it’s still timely today. Relax and enjoy and learn about the holiday!

laurasomewherelse's avatarOMG I'm Thirty

Happy Labor Day! Today’s post is a repost from this past Memorial Day, but I thought it was timely. Hope you had some good barbecue and are enjoying every last bit of the summer!

Last year on Labor Day, a friend of mine was wondering whether or not to thank the military. (Short answer- sure, thank the military- but not because of Labor Day. Labor day has nothing to do with the military- it’s about American workers.)

Last Memorial Day, I overheard someone asking the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. This was not a child asking- it was someone in their fifties

So in case you’re not sure of the differences between the holidays, but are too embarrassed to ask, lets clear up the confusion right now, anonymously 😉

Memorial Day: Memorial Day is for honoring and remembering military personnel who died serving their country, particularly those who died in battle…

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