Is is loyalty? Acceptance? Similar interests? Kindness? Ability to make you laugh?
Has what you valued in your friendships changed as you’ve gotten older?
Loyalty is pretty high up there for me, but I would say I’m most drawn to open minded people who are free-spirited. Also, the word wild keeps coming up for me when I think of characteristics I value in a friend. I don’t mean “wild” in a party-all-the-time type of way (though I do love a good drinking buddy), but rather, up for adventures, new projects, and a general open-mindedness to how we, as human beings, can exist in the world. I’m often attracted to people who march (happily) to the beat of their own drummer. Friends like that encourage me to do the same.
As I’ve moved into my 30s, I’ve found it more difficult to make friends, so one quality that I now always look for is someone who prioritizes friendships. People who don’t call me to hang out only when their boyfriend is out of town, or when they want some specific information from me. I want friends who value friendship – and see that it has an equally important place in one’s life as romantic partners and even family.
“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
– Lucius Annaeus Seneca
“I define friendship as a bond that transcends all barriers. When you are ready to expect anything and everything from friends, good, bad or ugly… that’s what I call true friendship.”
– Harbhajan Singh
“What do you most value in your friends?
Their continued existence.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Hitch-22: A Memoir