What the 30’s Decade Means to Me

Granted I’m only 2.5 years into my 30’s, but if I had to put it into one word, the 30’s for me is about all about “priorities.” With less free time, I’ve had to really decide what to spend my hours on.

One of the definitions of the word priority is:

“The right to take precedence or to proceed before others.”

I love that definition because it’s easy to forget that you have the right to set your own priorities. Your priorities should not be dictated by the demands others place on you. I mean, you have to WORK to pay your rent and bills, but there’s also a ton of free time in your day. Many times, you can choose the sort of work you do.

The thing is, if you don’t set your priorities, others will set them for you. You know that shitty feeling when you’re getting ready for bed, and you look back at all you’ve done during the day, and recognize that you did nothing to further your own personal goals? Maybe you were just on the treadmill of unfulfilling job, food, sleep, shower, etc? Well, that’s a depressing feeling and for me, it’s happened more often than I’d like to admit.

In my own life, I’ve found that by setting my own personal priorities recently, the following shifts have happened in my life:

1) Sacrificed the amount of friends I have for the quality of those friendships.

2) Only taken jobs that I feel good about even if I make much less money.

3) Identified and accepted core truths about myself that have informed how I live my life (i.e. – I need and love a lot of alone time, and sometimes that means I sacrifice a “networking” opportunity for QT time with myself.)

What are your own personal priorities? Have they shifted as you’ve moved into your 30’s?

Welcome! I’m Jane.

Hi, guys! Thanks for stopping by. Welcome to Day 1.  Laura and I started this site with the aim of exploring the thirty-something decade, that time period in one’s life that Jezebel’s Tracy Moore has dubbed the “do or die decade.”  (http://jezebel.com/5987398/your-thirties-are-do-or-die) We hope this becomes a place where we can talk openly and honestly about life in our thirties. And we decided to start today because it’s Laura’s 30th birthday! Happy birthday, my dear friend.

We’re both going to tell you a little bit about us, so we’re not just strangers pontificating on this life stage. I’m Jane, I’m 32 and I’m a born and bred New Yorker. I grew up on the Upper East Side, but it wasn’t like Gossip Girl. It was just a quiet, neighborhood-y area of Manhattan with a high person to bagel shop ratio. I went to a public high school in the Bronx, which is where Laura also went, but we happened to meet in a youth theater group in the East Village. We both wore big glasses, loved theater and hanging out at McDonald’s after school. And, not gonna lie, we were both kinda dorky back in the day. See Exhibit A below.

old laura

Laura circa high school

old jane w glasses

Jane circa 5th Grade

I went to college in Baltimore where I studied film and media, and when I graduated, I got assistant jobs at film studios in NYC.  Somewhere after that first job sitting in a cubicle, I realized that what made me love film and theater was the writing itself. I loved being at the genesis of the creation; I wanted to live in the private place where ideas are born. (Or this is when I discovered that I’m a total narcissist.) I pursued my writing while working various low level office jobs in the film and copywriting world. At some point around 27, I realized how I needed to take that next step in my career and devote myself fully to the work of screenwriting and playwriting. I thought that graduate school would be that next step, and I applied to several MFA programs.

Jump forward a few years and rejections later…

And here I am. In LA, getting my MFA at UCLA in Screenwriting. It’s been a wonderful experience – we write a new feature film length screenplay (or TV pilot) every 10 weeks, 3 times a year. It forces you to be prolific. And the people are great. It’s nice having other writers who ‘get ‘what you do. But, I won’t lie and tell you I’m loving LA. I still don’t feel entirely at home here and miss my buddies and family in NYC. But I’ve heard adjusting to LA takes a few years. We’ll see.

So. This project.

Here it goes. We want to hear from you, so please comment. Let’s tawk, people.

And happy 30th birthday, Laura! It’s going to be an amazing decade.

jane laura bar

Present day – and PS – why is my skin so red?!